My 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 (YEONGYU/BEOMJUN)

4

yeonjun wakes up and the mood around the house is gloomy. he cannot hear anyone speak as he did when he woke up late. no one even came in to wake yeonjun up. what was going on? yeonjun tiptoes out of his room, and no one is in the living room. did they all already leave without him?

yeonjun makes his way to taehyun and soobin's room and finds both of them sitting facing each other in utter silence. puzzled, yeonjun continues looking at them and trying to examine what they were doing, but in vain. was this some sort of couple exercise?

"come in, yeonjun hyung." he hears taehyun speak. "don't behave like a creep."

ignoring the insult, yeonjun walks into the room and his boy language questions the awkward atmosphere in the air. he still chooses to ask. "something seems off." yeonjun points out the obvious. "what's wrong?"

"what's wrong, you ask?" soobin turns slightly aggressive and yeonjun is scared.

"yeah, well?" yeonjun questions. "i just woke up."

taehyun places a hand on soobin's shoulder as if asking him to drop it. taehyun sucks in a deep breath before he speaks.

"it's beomgyu hyung." taehyun says, and no shit- from the way soobin glares at yeonjun, he knows it's about beomgyu. but he couldn't have messed up one bit, right? he hasn't even been near beomgyu for a very long time. last night didn't count.

"heeseung hyung asked beomgyu out."

yeonjun blinks once, and then twice. he looks at soobin for confirmation and he nods slightly. the eldest gulps. he has no idea how he should be reacting to such a piece of information.

and at the same time, yeonjun doesn't understand how such a simple sentence could cause him so much pain and manage to hurt him so much. yeonjun stares at taehyun for a good two seconds and then locks eyes with soobin, who sits with a disappointed look on his face. yeonjun tries- he tries to form an answer which doesn't show the clear pain in his chest, but he fails. yeonjun's mouth is left hanging open.

"oh." that's the most he can get out.

"oh?" soobin raises his voice once again out of spite, and yeonjun flinches. taehyun shoots him another knowing look, and soobin shuts up. yeonjun's grateful that soobin shuts up. because he still doesn't seem to be able to comprehend the bad, the worst ever news he's gotten. he's done it. heeseung just beat yeonjun to it.

yeonjun stares at the ground for a second, and he feels his heart crumble at the words that ring continuously in his head. heeseung hyung asked beomgyu out. did beomgyu like heeseung too? maybe beomgyu loves heeseung. yeonjun feels so stupid, when the truth was out in front of him all the time. beomgyu always hung around with heeseung, didn't he? late nights with heeseung. even last night beomgyu was out drinking with heeseung till three am. after all of this, why'd beomgyu step foot into yeonjun's room at all?

yeonjun feels played with, and a sickening feeling settles in his tummy. he imagines beomgyu and heeseung- being all cute and mushy in love, kissing, beomgyu belonging to someone that wasn't him- and the feeling ate him alive every second. he didn't realise how much he hated that idea. the idea of beomgyu being with someone else. but what could yeonjun do if that's what beomgyu wanted? yeonjun didn't have the right to say anything to him after all. maybe beomgyu hadn't been speaking to yeonjun for this reason alone. maybe beomgyu knew- fuck- that yeonjun was really gone for him. maybe beomgyu disliked the fact so much that he decided to cut yeonjun out of his life and-

"jeez, hyung." taehyun sighs. "i can hear you think very loud, it's gross." this manages to snap yeonjun out of it. he's the only one in the room who doesn't know of the pathetic, lovesick look on his face.

"before you panic, which exactly looks like what you're doing right now, no- beomgyu hyung hasn't said anything to heeseung hyung yet." taehyun confirms, and somewhere, that gives yeonjun a slight hope. but his brain crushes it down the second it comes up. yeonjun didn't want to keep very high hopes for anything.

"he's slightly upset about the confession though." taehyun adds. "he feels like he's been betrayed. heeseung hyung and beomgyu hyung have been friends for a really long time, you know right? beomgyu feels like heeseung's feelings have ruined their friendship. he came into our room sobbing last night."

and it's like a switch turned on in yeonjun's head. now he understands, why beomgyu came over to his room last night. beomgyu only ever cries with yeonjun and he couldn't be with him yesterday. yeonjun feels like the worst friend ever. he wonders if soobin and taehyun even managed to calm beomgyu down.

"he's...going to be a little off about it today, okay?" taehyun warns in advance. if beomgyu doesn't feel well usually, he'd come to yeonjun and ask for hugs. yeonjun would make a face at him, but he kept beomgyu safe anyway. he loved him. now, at this point when beomgyu doesn't feel well, yeonjun wants to hug all the pain out of him. but alas, would beomgyu even listen to him? was yeonjun any of beomgyu's top priorities at the moment?

he feels selfish, for thinking about himself in times like these when beomgyu is hurting. yeonjun has always valued his platonic relationships over romantic ones (due to the lack of his pitiful love life) and he understands what beomgyu might be going through at a point like this. he wants to be there to support him. but yeonjun is too much of a coward to talk to beomgyu and actually mend things with him.

"okay." yeonjun sucks in a deep breath. "thanks for watching over him last night, you two." yeonjun says genuinely. "i know what beomgyu gets like when he's sad. you two must've taken it well."

the two males look at each other in understanding and then back at yeonjun. soobin speaks up, but relatively softer this time. taehyun looks proud. "about that, hyung...beomgyu said he missed you a lot last night. he was crying a lot, i couldn't tell, but i heard your name occasionally."

now, this was a piece of information yeonjun couldn't process for a good while. beomgyu missed yeonjun. yeonjun missed beomgyu. then why were none of them clarifying anything between them?

yeonjun sucks in a deep breath. he'd talk to beomgyu about it when he looked better about it. the atmosphere in the dorm was too tense for anything. and the fact that beomgyu sobbed out his name to taehyun and soobin was eating him up. i'll deal with it. yeonjun promises.

"oh, okay." he lets out the lamest answer to that ever. taehyun shoots him a questioning look.

"i-i'll, uh- get ready for today." he blabbers, not making sense to himself either. "big interview, see you two later!" yeonjun flees with a terrible excuse and leaves taehyun and soobin alone to each other in the room.

soobin looks at taehyun and sighs while scooting closer. he rests his head on taehyun's lap in a frustrated manner. "i don't know how much longer yeonjun hyung is going to dilly dally around beomgyu." he huffs out.

taehyun rubs his own head in defeat. and then soobin looks up at him again.

"i wonder how yeonjun hyung will react looking at the arrangements for the interview today."soobin grunts.