If Only

Chapter 5

Everyone from the table is staring at me like I owe them money or something.

"Soo?" Jay says, obviously amused for whatever Im supposed to say.

I play dumb "Soo, what?" I say taking a drink of my water.

They all give me THE look.

I'm in trouble

"Y/n, dont act dumb you're not going to run off this time just tell us what you meant earlier with your blurt out." Mal says.

I dont really like how Mal and Jay think they can just but in.

Even though I would want to know if they did the same.

i roll my eyes to myself.

Fine.

"Fine. Earlier when I started to zone out I was kinda daysreaming about someone. Okay? There thats all what you guys are going to get so leave me alone now" I get up and start heading to my dorm.

Nosy ass bitches.

I can just tell by what their faces are but I ignore it.

I ignore how its only 7 o'clock but I climb into bed and go to sleep.

~

I wake up and its midnight.

I cant fall asleep so I pick up a book and start to read it.

I start thinking about how I should go tell Evie and Carlos more details abiut WHO I was daydreaming about.

I throw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and head out the dorm putting my shoes on.

I shut the door quietly trying not to wake up Lonnie and start heading down the hall to Evie and Mals dorm.

The door is unlocked so I just open it knocking as quietly as I can to let them know Im coming in. I shut the door behind me and seeing their asleep.

I walk over to Evies bed when I see that Evie isnt actually in her bed, and that its just a lump of pillows.

I notice how its the same on Mals side of the bed.

What the fuck.

I get out and head to where Jay and Carlos' dorm is amd theure gone too.

What the fuck.

I start roaming around the school checking every classroom window and every hallway.

I come to the cafeteria and see no one in here either except for a little light in the kitchens.

I bust into the kitchen and see all of them standing there making... cookies?

They all jump a little but see its me so they calm down.

"What the actual fuck are you guys doing?" I say demanding for and answer.

They all look at each other not knowing what to say.

Mal covers something with a cloth and says "Well what the actual fuck are YOU doing here" she says.

"Well I woke up and thought Hey maybe I should tell Evie and Carlos more details about my blurt out because they are my real friends BUT I go to their dorms and see that theyre not in their beds so I search the whole school and here we are." I say

"Well how the fuck did you get into our dorms" Jay says.

Why wont they anser my fucking question.

"Well one, Evie gave me a spare key to her dorm, and Carlos gave one to his and two, they were already unlocked." I say. "But why dont we answer my fucking questions since you guys keep trying to aviod them"

I dont want an answer from Jay and Mal. I want it from Evie and Carlos.

But no. They just stand there speechless.

"Is this the only secret you're keeping from me?" I ask hoping it is.

Speechless again.

I nod my head with a straight face. "Great." I take those spare keys out of my pocket and set them on the table where they were making the cookies. "Some friends you are." I blurt out beofre heading out the door.

I mean who do they think i am? A snitch? far from that. why wont they tell me, it obviously seemed like they were going to do something bad and i want in on it.

I start heading towards my dorm before I start to think then I say "Fuck it" and head to the library.

I pick up a random book from a random shelf and start reading the book.

Soon I feel my eyes start drooping and I pass out.

~

I wake up and read my watch.

8:00 AM?

SHIT.

School started an hour ago and im supposed to be in my second class.

I hurry to my dorm and grab all my stuff and start rushing to my class.

I burst through the door looking like a maniac and everyone is staring.

I realize Im a little out of breathe from the anxiety I have.

My Chemistry teacher says "Do you have a tardy slip Ms Gothel?"

Im done.

"Why the fuck do we need 'tardy slips' like im late okay we can all see that theres no point the teachers dont even read them" I blurt out

Clearly Im just pissed from last nights shenanigans but everyone can deal with it.

"Detention Ms Gothel for the blurt out, using inappropriate language, and disrespecting me. Meet me after school at 3."

I roll my eyes. Just what I need.

I glare at Evie, Mal, Carlos, and Jay and sit at an empty table by myself.

~

Its lunch now and Im so tired of today. Evie tried to apologize to me but im not taking it until she tells me what they have been up too.

Maybe Im being dramatic about this. But her and Carlos obviously have been keeping stuff from me and I want to know.

Why are they even keeping secrets? I want to be in on fun stuff.

I wanna sneak around and break rules and stay up past curfew with my friends. But no

Becuase now I dont even think I have friends.

I sit down at a table across the room from where I did sit at. Not having an appetite.

I see Carlos coming towards me.

He sits next to me and I just stare out the window next to me completely ignoring him.

"Ill tell you all the stuff after school just meet me after school." he says in a kinda of quiet voice.

"Hey uh you know I have fucking detention!?" I say with a little attitude.

He nods and walks away.

I watch him as he takes a tray of food from where he was sitting next to me and start to pick up the food and throwing it at people. Standing on the table.

My eyes go big as I see what hes doing.

I literally love him.

He hits a lot of people in the face m, and finally one of the lunch ladys says "Thats it your going to detention after school today with Mr Smith."

He stops and say "THATS FINE BY ME" and sits back down.

My jaw is pretty much on the floor after seeing what he just did.

"Carlos! That was fucking awesome" I say jumping up and giving him a hug.

I get up saying "I do have to head to class though, wanna come?"

He nods and says "Yes"

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