BB's Dialtown oneshots!

You okay dude? (yeah I'm fine)

OKAY SO THIS CHAPTER DEALS WITH SOME PRETTY HEAVY-ISH TOPICS, SUCH AS SELF-HATRED AND THOUGHTS OF SELF-OFFING. 

IS THIS A VENT FIC? ABSOLUTELY. SHHH, YOU'RE GETTING ONE ABOUT THE MOB'S PET TIGER NEXT. Oh yeah by the way, if you wanna know where I got the idea for this, just put me in the place of Randy! But also put me in the place of Oliver I guess- Idk- its a really weird situation I'm in. I have no idea what I did here. 

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Oliver watched as Randy stopped where he was walking and sorta stared into space for a few moment before shaking his head and continuing whatever he was doing. Randy had been awfully quiet for the past few days. He'd been wandering around their shared apartment, saying nothing to Oliver and making a point to not be touched. Whenever he *did* return to his old self, he quickly shut away looking as though he did something awful. There was really no explanation to it. So Oliver tried to confront him about it.

"Hey dude, you okay?" Oliver asked, as Randy sat on the floor below him, doodling. 

"Yeah I'm fine" He replied, continuing his doodling. Oliver looked down at the drawings, they were cute cartoony drawings of the two of them and the others. Particularly situations they'd experienced together such as the time Gingi was given a gun, or the time the two of them went on a date at a new café. They were generally sweet drawings. 

"You're pretty good at drawing, You should do some art with Karen sometime" Oliver suggested, putting a hand on Randy's shoulder. He pulled away.. weird. He usually loves affection. 

"She's way better than me though.. I dont think she'd like them." Randy mumbled, doodling some characters from an old pre-dialup cartoon before drawing his own rendition of them in his own style.

"Randy, are you sure you're okay though? You've been quiet recently and you just look.. distant." Oliver said, looking Randy in the face. He was zoning out again.

"huh?" Randy said, shaking himself out of his weird little trance.

"Are you sure you're okay Randy?" Oliver repeated.

"I don't know anymore, but I'll be okay" Randy said, standing up and putting his sketchbook away. 

In reality, Randy was far from okay. Every second he was awake was agony. His body felt like it was falling apart. His lungs never seemed to hold enough air, his knees always slightly too achy, his eyes always too fuzzy. And that was just the physical attributes.

You should probably just leave them alone. Don't be so clingy, you'd seem too much like *her*. You don't wanna be like her. An unknown voice in his head whispered to him as he waited for his friends to meet him in the park by their tree. It was the only part of the park that was truly safe to be in, minus the people coming over to be really weird to them- 

"I cant be bothered to deal with this right now..." Randy mumbled as the thoughts jeered at him.

Oh don't be pathetic Randy. Even your name is stupid. I cant believe you're getting so worked up over simple words. I bet they wont even come. Oliver only lets you stay with him out of pity. You really are useless, aren't you?  Randy stared into the distance, completely zoned out as the thoughts rolled through. He shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts away, and took out his sketchbook and a pencil.

Line after line, shade after shade, the blank paper became something that Randy would resent the next day. Art. He drew fairly detailed drawings of people he liked. Sure, they'd never be as good as Karen's art but they were his and that's what mattered. There and then, it was just him and his drawings. He couldn't hurt anyone that way. He missed touching, by alot, but it was annoying others. And he accidentally hurt Gingi with his extremely thin arms. He often was praised for his weight, as he never seemed to gain any weight no matter how much he ate, he didn't see it as good though. He saw himself as disproportionate and often drew himself as such in his doodles. Of course nobody would see those, because he hated those ones. They were bad. Such as himself.

He looked up from his drawings, colour draining from the surroundings. He looked solemnly upon the lake below. His friends hadn't arrived yet. Go on. Run to the lake and drown yourself. If you're lucky you'll die before the swans get to you. Of course, someone as ugly and pathetic as you doesn't deserve an easy death but you're too much of a coward to do it any other way. You're pitiful, really. The voice laughed at him. He almost stood up to go down the hill, but at that moment he heard footsteps and chatter on the other side of the hill.

"Yo! Rad-ny! Sorry we're late, we decided to stop by the shop to get some stuff for a picnic!" Oliver smiled, setting down a blanket and a basket of food. Karen and Gingi were very much engrossed in a deep conversation about horses. Specifically an argument about horse jerkey. Randy didn't feel the need to get involved. He just continued drawing as Oliver scooted next to him and handed him a sandwich.

"I got your favourite. You've seemed pretty bummed out lately, so I wanted to cheer you up!" Oliver said wearily, taking a sandwich for himself.

You shouldn't eat that, you don't deserve it. You don't even have the money to pay for it. You should feel bad. But then again, you should feel bad if you say no. He went through the effort to get that for you. Shame on you for putting him through all that effort and even thinking of saying no. Plus he'll worry, though its beyond me why he would worry over someone as pathetic as you, and you don't want that. And I know you're too selfish and greedy to deny anything he offers you.

Randy knew the voice had a point and took the sandwich, eating it in small bites. He felt awful. He didn't even know why the voice started up again. It usually stayed quiet. But then again that was only when he had a distraction.

"You okay Ran? You're zoning out again." Oliver asked, worried.

"Yeah, I'm fine"