Fish Out of Water

Chapter 17~ Calm Waters

The caves that were not the same as the under-water system Bay took me to, this one was a big cave overhead with near perfect circle letting the light in. The rocks encircled a perfect natural pool with a perfect ledge around it for dipping your legs in. Sean went straight to the pool's edge and stuck his legs in. I sat beside him, rolling my pants up first the too smooth skin that I normally tried to cover felt stupid now. Almost everyone at school had a similar texture to mine.

The cool water slid up my legs almost reaching my knees and I leaned back on my arms. Sean grabbed his backpack and tucked it under his head as he laid back right into a stream of sunlight shining a blaring spotlight on the bags under his eyes.

"You're skip—" he yawned. "skipping a lot of school lately."

I sighed. "Yeah, school doesn't feel as important right now." The words would make a year ago me cringe. Probably yell. So close to graduation and I was burning out? But it was different. It wasn't like I wanted to but saying it to Sean eased away more tension I didn't even know I was holding.

"Same." He chuckled and stifled another yawn. He folded his hands over his stomach, his eyes drifting shut. His chest fell into a steady rhythm within a few minutes, his head dropping to the side. The image of his tear-stained face invaded my thoughts, and I shook it away. He doesn't want your pity. I tried to conjure images of his other smiles, how annoying I had thought he was when he kept bugging me about my tail at school. He was in the right. I hadn't even thought about how I wanted to get my tail before that. The way Sera had gotten hers had a burst of anxiety squeezing my chest. I pushed myself to my feet, peeled away my patches, and stripped off my sweats and long-sleeved shirt still damp from putting them on too soon before. I slid into the water and let it wash over me.

My skin glided through the water as I swam laps around the little pool, and sliced through the water with a new sense of oneness. I had always felt right in the water, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of belonging. The hesitation that now accompanied me when it was time to get out. I could be okay in the water I tried some of Emory's optimism. I'd be fine. I could still live near Emory and she could do her homework on the beach and we'd still be friends... Not that I've been a good friend. I suppressed my guilt letting the ocean pull that away too. I'd be better, I'd call her as soon as me and Sean were done hanging out. And I'd have Bay too— Bay's unintentional betrayal—could I even call it that?— It wasn't fair of me to be so harsh but Sean was happy just to have me around and I wasn't a prize of a friend. Bay felt tainted now. I wanted to blame him for Sean's problems for reasons I couldn't even justify to myself. It wasn't his fault and what could he even do? I didn't even know if they would mesh, and Sean wouldn't want a pity friend. Still, resentment burned in my veins. He was an easy target. That's all it was. My brain just didn't want to give in to the logic just yet.

"You look more comfortable there than on land now." Sean's groggy voice echoed a little in the little cave. I swam to the edge of the and rested my arms on the rough stone.

"Might not have a choice." I wasn't sure if having the same problem on opposite spectrums was better or worse for him.

"Right." He watched me for a second before sighing, pulling off his pants and shirt, and slipping into the pool with me. He closed his eyes and floated the water still enough to relax but not so still that it felt like some kind of predator was nearby.

Sean didn't talk so I didn't try. If Sean wanted to talk he'd talk. We swam the length of the cave and down as deep as he could go. When he started heading up, I realized what Bay had been talking about. Sean couldn't forget about land like my gills let me. I didn't need to come up for air ever and it happened without me even noticing. I followed Sean back up to the surface where he gasped in gulps of air where I just opened my lungs. Humans were typically automatic breathers, and some aquatic mammals like dolphins were manual breathers. They could just decide to die by not breathing. Though when I did it, it was to rely fully on my gills. I shook my own thoughts away, I was trying to be a better friend not focus on myself, not everything is about me. Especially with Sean, he'd had it harder than I probably ever would.