Hell's Force of Nature (Helltaker Harem X Scout Male Reader)

Bruises and Vodka

And here we are once again with our hero and his friend's group of hellish waifus. The last time we left them, they had just picked up three chicks  who might be furries. 

You and your group marched through the canyon and you were currently glaring at Taker.

"I said I was sorry, alright?" Taker mumbled.

"Is this enough for you? We already have enough girls to start a damn  strip club, how many more do you need?" You yelled.

"These girls are nice." He muttered. "Very nice, but this isn't all of them, there was more of them in my dream."

"Oh for fucks sake, grow up, no one listens to dreams other then superstitious grannies and paranoid sailors." You said before walking ahead of the group. The click clacking of high heels were soon heard and Modeus joined you.

"I saw you arguing with Taker, is everything alright?" Modeus asked.

"As long as I'm here in this godforsaken place, no." You muttered to yourself before clearing your throat. "Yeah, yeah, just wondering where we are." You lied.

Modeus turned to look at you while you were walking. The heart shapes in her eyes almost piercing through your very soul. Nevertheless, it was uncomfortable and you looked away.

"We're close, very close." Modeus answered.

"To?" You asked.

"Our destination." Modeus said smiling.

"But you've been saying that since yesterday, where even is our destination?" You complained.

"It's close, thats all I can say." Modeus said before walking away whilst humming.

"Cripes." You muttered. Your thoughts were drawn to work. No doubt your phone would be ringing off the hook if it wasn't dead. With your luck, you'd be fired. So instead of pulling into the parking lot of the bookstore, you were dragging your aching feet through a stifling hot canyon as sweat dripped from your brow and you peeled off your coat. 

"God it's hotter then a gas oven on the bright side of the sun!" You exclaimed. Pandemonica turned to look at your sweaty sticky body and smirked before turning away. You trudged onwards for what felt like forever before Cerebus stopped. Now this wouldn't have been a problem had not all THREE of her stopped, thus slamming into you and causing you to fall down.

"Ow God dammit!" You bellowed. "What's the big idea?"

"Hey, do you smell that?" One of them said, not giving a darned about you.

"Yeah, orange, berries, and vodka!" Another one cried.

"Yup, no doubt, Malina is close by." Cerebus finished.

"Malina? Who now?" You asked, getting up from the ground.

"Oh, Malina, she acts hard to get, but I'm sure you'll find some way to figure her out." Pandemonica said, brushing off your shoulders.

"OH don't tell me that Im the one who has to get her." You said.

"Don't worry bud, it won't be that bad, you just need to take one for the team." Taker said before shooing you off.

"I don't need to take one for the team, I've already been taking several for the team, what the hell are you talking about I need to take one for the team?" You muttered.

You rounded the corner to see a small shed. Odd,  but a somewhat welcome sight as you staggered towards it to rest your aching bones. You sat against the wall for a minute deciding your plan of attack. You decided to just ask and if this Malina or whatever her name is said no, oh well, best of luck next time. You stood up and faced the door, wiping your sweaty forehead before you knocked on the door.

You could faintly hear someone say "Shit." And tons of glass bottles clattering against one another. It was a couple of seconds more before the door opened and a woman glared daggers at you. 

"Great, more brain dead idiots. Never seen your ugly face before. What are you playing at?" The lady muttered.

"This is great. Please insult me more." You replied sarcastically.

The lady looked you up and down and She took a good long look at your face.

And then she kicked you right in the family dispenser.

"Ah fucker God damn!!" You howled, clutching your berries and falling to your knees.

"Disgusting." She said. "I bet you're enjoying this aren't you?" She put her foot on your shoulder and sneered at you.

"No! What kind of sick person would enjoy this?!" You yelped.

"A masochistic creep like you." She retorted.

"I'm not a masochist." You replied, shakily getting up.

"Wait. You're not?" The lady asked confused.

"Heh, no. Dont you know sarcasm?" You muttered.

"Then why the fuck are you bothering me?" The lady said before taking a swig from a bottle of liquor.

"I'm part of a group of people who wander around a canyon picking girls and I was wondering if you wanted to join." You said through clenched teeth.

Malina took another good long look at you and you covered your no no zone this time.

"Alright, I'm game, let's go." She said walking out the door.

"Wait, just like that? I don't need to convince you?" You said catching up with her.

"Consider me convinced scrub."  She said. She took out a bottle of vodka from what was seemingly thin air and handed it to you. You hesitation caused her to chuckle.

"Cmon, I don't bite." She chortle

"You made me infertile!" You complained 

"I don't bite." She said