Hell's Force of Nature (Helltaker Harem X Scout Male Reader)

Meet the Pyro (again)

The birds outside the window were chirping, as the sunlight beamed through your window, and it cast a glow on your sleeping body.

Half covered in blankets, and the fact that you were wearing a shirt and white boxers gave you a sense of comfort that you hadn't felt in a long time.

That is until Cerebus burst into your room and trampled you while you were sleeping.

"Ach! Hey! Gerrof me! Oof! That's my nutsack! OUCH!" You howled as the terrible trio woke you up in the most horrible way known to mankind.

"What are you still doing asleep? Cmon, wake up! We're up, so now you can wake up too!" They said, then just as quickly as they entered your room, left.

Dazed and confused, you glanced over at the alarm clock, which read 8:06 am.

You groaned and got up, scratching your chest and yawning.

Making your way down the stairs, you passed each of the hellish waifus rooms, smiling as you passed each one.

Ever since your landlord kicked you out, Taker had offered you a room at his place. Now, this seemed like a good idea, until you remembered that the girls would be living there too. Now originally you were against that idea, but after living in a motel room for a week, you swallowed your pride and asked Taker if you could live with him, which he was only too happy to oblige, since you helped him on his quest.
You were only incredibly fucking jealous that Taker was living in a mansion, and you were living in a decrepit apartment.

After the events that had transpired, Medic went on a trip to Tahiti, which sounded mega lame, but the guy also deserved it, seeing as he was in a cell for a long time.

(Though putting every last one of your paychecks into Tom Jones merchendaise from when you were a merc didn't help)

You got to the kitchen and strode over to where you kept the coffee, and no, not the folgers crap that tasted like dirt (although it's always freshly ground)
No, you bought a stash of GOOD stuff from arizona, and it was stuff that could take a guy out of a coma and set your heart going faster than a race horse.

You opened the cabinet and pushed aside the minute ramen and grabbed the bag of coffee.

Singing a little tune, you walked over to the coffee maker, and poured water in there and started to make your coffee.

Lucifer entered the kitchen and grabbed a muffin.

"Good morning Y/N, how did you sleep?" She asked, rubbing your back.

"How would I know? I was asleep." You replied.

Lucifer chuckled and left the kitchen, muffin in hand.

After a little bit, Pandemonica shuffled into the kitchen, her eyes half shut, her glasses and pants both missing, and bags under her eyes.
You poured yourself a mug of coffee,  and after pouring her a cup of coffee, you decided to make a run for it, the first few days you started living at Takers place, whenever she got coffee, and you were in the same room as her, things didn't end well.

You went out to the porch and picked up the daily newspaper. As you went back into the house, you sipped from your mug, you read the headline, which was basic politics, which you didn't give a shit about.

You flipped the page to the comics, which had Garfield, Peanuts, and Heathcliff, which were funny.
As you looked at the pictures, Zdrada stomped into the dining room and glanced over at you.

"Hey, can I have a look at that when you're done?" She asked.

You folded the newspaper and handed it to her.