Counting Stars (In A Relationship With EXO Kai)

18 | A Trip

"Thank you for inviting me here."

Hera laid back on the lush green grass. I stared down at her before moving my head to see the sunrise. The ground beneath us was still drenched in dew and soil smell. The air was fresh as if taking them into a clear embrace where everything felt good. Too good.

"Don't be formal." I smiled at Jongin, and then turned to her.

She tilted her head. "Your friendship with Jongin is adorable."

"For most of my life, I only had myself. Being a single child comes with certain disadvantages," I told her, my eyes automatically finding Jongin who was running in circles with Baekhyun. "But when I met him, things changed. I had a shoulder I could cry without worrying my parents."

She watched me carefully. "Jongin feels the same way about you. He used the exact phrase to explain your importance in his life."

"It's different for him. He has many friends and siblings, but me? I only have him." I shook my head. "This is why I can't approach him romantically ever. If I end up losing him, I won't have anyone else left." The surprise in her eyes was clear as say, and I chuckled. "Don't be like that. Aside from Jongin, everyone can see that I'm madly in love with him."

"Then why not-"

"I love them all. Having that kind of feelings for him... I don't want to loose others too." I shrugged. "What about you?"

"Me?"

I hummed. "You've a look in your eyes since we came here. You look happy."

Her eyes flickered to Baekhyun. "I am. It's different here. I like this version of Baekhyun. Carefree. Loving."

I didn't have a heart to tell her that Baekhyun was away from the limelights right now. The moment we would return, it would go back to how it was before. Him being out of his mind whenever outside. I wasn't kidding. I was there when the whole Taeyeon thing went down.

Hera needed to love both of his versions, because this Baekhyun? It won't appear much in their relationship. I won't deny that I wasn't a bit scared of Hera's negligence on Baekhyun's real self. She had a fantasy of her relationship with Baekhyun, and it was bound to shatter some day. His insecurities ran too deep.

"Isn't it tough though? Being in love with someone whom you can't be with?" She asked, curious. "I mean, doesn't it look like a punishment?"

"It would have been a worse punishment had I been in a relationship with him. I'm content-" I stopped when felt a shadow close by. Jongin appeared behind me and I calculated his expressions. Did he hear our conversation? Before I could contemplate, he jumped on me and started tickling. "Hey hey, what are you doing?" I laughed out loud as he wrapped his arms around me from behind and hugged me.

His chin rested on my shoulder. "Baekhyun wanted some time alone with his girlfriend. I distracted you, so that he could sweep her out of your eyes without you teasing him."

"Well they're cheesy. He should just accept it," I said, grinning.

"What were you both talking about anyway," I felt his breath over my skin, and suppressed a shiver. "Girls talk?"

"Hmm..." I leaned back my head against his chest, and he cocooned my body into his embrace from behind. "Are you okay?"

"Is it bad that I've not been thinking about Krystal?"

I turned my neck and saw him frowning. "You're going to be okay, Jongin. I promise."

"That wasn't the answer to my question, but fine." His face broke into a small grin. "I love you, Sunhee. Thank you for being my best friend."

I turned away from him, and stared at the sunrise. My eyes blinked to stop the onslaught of emotions his words would always bring. Why? Why were we just friends? I did say that it was enough, but for how long? It would be a matter of time before I became greedy for him. What then? I would lose him. Why did I have to fall for him? Just why?

"I think Ae-Cha has a crush," he said out of nowhere.

"Huh?"

"Your grandma said she goes to see this school band whenever she comes here. Some guy who plays guitar."

I hummed. "She didn't tell me, but again teenage crushes are secret happiness. No?" Jongin stayed silent, and I stood up, giving him my hand. "Where did your mind go to? Get up."

"You were my teenage crush, do you know?" His eyes stared up to me, face blank. I stared back, my hand still hung in air. My lips parted, and I swear I tried to get the words out. To say something. Anything. But, I couldn't. "Got you!" He burst out laughing.

I blinked a couple of times and took a deep breath to get a hold on myself. Joke. He was fooling around. "Idiot." I forced a smile.

"Sunshine, I know you consider me as a friend, but you didn't have to look so horrified. I'm hurt." He stood up too, and dusted off his clothes. "You looked like my confession was your nightmare."

"Because it was." I smacked his shoulder. "We're friends. It would be weird if you tell me you've been crushing on me!" I started walking towards home, and he followed. "Of course I would be terrified."

"Yes, it would definitely be weird, but hey I was joking."

I closed my eyes and let the tear roll down my cheek. I would've to act as if the idea of him liking me was horrifying, because if he even got a whim of my feelings, hell would break loose. Either he would ask me out because he didn't want to lose me, or he would walk out of my life so that he couldn't hurt me further. Both scenarios were a big no for me.

Jongin grabbed my wrist and pulled me back to him. His eyes sparkled as he twirled me around and started swaying me to his unknown beat. "I hope you find someone worthy of you, Sunhee."

"Out of nowhere?"

"I'll get tired of making you smile all the time. Someone has to take a permanent position. No?" He hugged me, his head resting on the top of my head. "You've always been there for me, and even though I've tried to balance this friendship and my relationship, I know I failed. You pulled away, and maybe I would do the same thing, but still I want you to have a special someone."

"Jongin-"

"Because you deserve the best." He cupped my cheeks, his eyes soft. "Even if that best isn't me."

I opened and closed my mouth, but then remembered he was teasing me about his earlier comment. I smiled. "Then promise me that you'll never stop looking for love. That you'll be happy again with someone." I paused. "Even if that someone isn't me."

"I promise." Jongin gave me his pinky finger. "Your turn." I crossed my finger with his, and just like any other time, I put my heart on line and let it bleed as I held on to him.

"I promise."