|| Still Me ||

Chapter 19: Updates from the future

Some time passes since your Peter, the other Peter, MJ and Ned left the house in the search of their dear friend. After the tragedy at the condominium God's only knew what the poor boy was going through... And who better than the two Peters knew how to manage to soothen the despair, sadness and anger the teenager was most surely and rightfully feeling. You had especially faith in your Peter since he was the oldest one and hopefully wiser to comfort the other one.
Despite this little optimism, you couldn't stop thinking about before, as scenes of the incident flash in your mind: Mr. Norman becoming violent out of the blue, inciting the other villains to turn against you, against Peter that wanted nothing more than to cure them; Max stealing the strange core from the fabricator and using it against Octavius to throw him out of the window... Aunt May telling you to escape and then...
You slightly shake in your sleep as those memories pervade your dreams, faintly waving your hands as to delete the images infront of you. But everything stops as soon as you feel someone touching you on the shoulder.

"Y/n. Y/n... Wake up."

Feeling that someone is gently shaking you, you immidiately wide open your eyes, slowly gasping for air and instinctively grab the hand laying on your shoulder. Starteled, you glance up to see your Peter with a concerned face, looking at you. He squats down to your eye-level, keeping his hand on the shoulder as to comfort you.

"P-Peter?"

"It's me. Everything is okay."

He softly says while you catch your breath after the small nightmare, freeing his hand from yours and then shake your head to wake up.

"Peter! Did... Have you found him? I-I mean... the other one. The one that--"

"Yes. We found him. He is... A little shaken but he's going to be okay. Don't worry."

He pats on your shoulder, assuring you and you lay your head on the couch as you feel kind of tired but relieved at the same time, releasing a deep sigh. He scans you and stays silent for a few seconds before asking.

"A nightmare?"

Opening your eyes and looking at the ceiling, you briefly nod.

"How... How you manage them?"

You ask him with a slightly trembling voice, turning your head towards him. A lot of lives depended on him since he was a hero. So what if he couldn't save someone? What if he failed? Seeing the faces of those he couldn't do anything about. Surely he had nightmares about those situations... And probably A LOT of them... So how he managed to keep doing his so called 'job', knowing that he might not save everyone? It was a huge burden on his shoulders. But he kept doing it. He kept trying anyway...
Hearing that, he looks down at the floor for a moment, then stands up and looks infront of him.

"Sometimes... Some are heavier than others... But, they are all here to remind us of our failures or... our biggest fears. It's okay to feel overwhelmed by them. Only fools are not scared of anything."

He smiles at the last sentence, shifting his gaze to you while shaking his head with empathic eyes. Then he looks at the ceiling like you.

"But... If they... get the better of you and stop you from doing something... That's when you lose. And that's a thing I cannot afford to happen."

He finishes, nodding to himself with a deep breath before turning towards you with his usual gentle smile. You look at him for a moment, slowly widening your eyes as you hear his words. 'Something he could not afford'...
Somehow, that sentence made you feel sad. Very sad for him. But you knew there was truth in what he said. You cannot let your fears get the better of you. Not with this situation going on. Peter needed each of you right now, including you and you surely couldn't let him down. He had tried to help you and it was the least you could do. You silently nod to him, standing up from the couch and turning your gaze toward him.