The Lies He Spoke

THIRTY SEVEN

LOGAN

Olivia was very tense on the way home. Which made Logan even more tense.

It didn't help that she was gingerly holding onto just the back of his shirt, and even though Logan was riding extra carefully, any turn jerked his heart thinking that she was about to fall off.

Was this because of what he had told her? Was she that scared and anxious to be around him now that she knew he had tried to kill himself?

He was an idiot for thinking that admitting that to her was okay. This had been a huge mistake. Obviously someone would be freaked out and utterly disgusted by it.

When he parked the bike in the apartment lot and got off, she was jittery and nervous, and she wouldn't look at him.

He couldn't take it anymore. His little sister hated him.

"I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable yesterday," he said through numb lips. "I understand if you feel I'm horrible and you don't want to-"

"Logan, what on earth -" She actually put her hand flat on his mouth. "No - stop, stop." When he didn't try to fight her on that, she dropped her hand and dragged both hands down her face. "Why does everyone keep apologizing. Why are you apologizing? Why on earth would I think -"

Her voice broke. They both stared at each other. Olivia's face was pale.

"You told me something so personal about being in that much pain. I would never, ever think you were horrible or be uncomfortable because you said that to me. So please don't think that about yourself either."

Relief swept through his limbs. She wasn't horrified. She still wanted to live with him.

"Do you want me to hug you?"

Logan instinctively stepped back a few feet. The thought of being touched where his cuts were still healing, where he still got sharp urges to hurt himself - it made his stomach roll nauseously. "No. Thank you. But no."

"I would hug you, in case you were wondering."

Logan almost smiled. Blake had taught her well. "Then...why are you so out of it?" he asked. "Did something happen at school?"

Her face instantly became pinched once more. She awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. "Aha...you see..."

Logan tried to stay calm because they had just been having a moment and she wasn't half bad at reminding him why he was still alive, so he tried to keep his voice neutral.

"I don't see."

His voice was not neutral.

"Okay, well, there's this friend I have at school - I mean, my only friend, really - and they're having a really hard time with everything, so I thought that it would be better for them if they had someone to talk to or give some advice-"

Logan's anxiety was going through the roof. When Olivia began to ramble, nothing good ever came out of it.

"Olivia, stop fucking around and tell me what you really want to say," he snapped.

"I invited someone over for dinner he really isn't having a good day he's having a very, very bad time actually so please don't be upset," she said in a rush.

Logan's blood turned to ice. His throat began to close up.

He forced himself to blow out air through his nose and in through his mouth so he wouldn't pass out.

What, he said, or tried to say, but nothing came out of his mouth.

As if on cue, a car pulled into the parking lot, and Olivia turned towards the sound. "Oh, that's him," she said hesitantly. "Angel."