Linstead - Always

Chapter 14

Chapter 14 - Never forget I love you

"Every day we ignore how completely broken this world is and we tell ourselves it's all going to be OK, you're gonna be OK. But it's not OK. And once you know that, there's no going back."

- One Tree Hill

Molly's since opening years ago has been a bar for firefighters, with police and doctors as its main audience. That's because everyone was friends with the owners of the place. It was a place where they could celebrate their successful jobs, their losses and leave their regrets. Molly's was almost like a family.

Jay was the person who helped Molly's become the fire station almost 10 years ago, the location was almost the reason he got the job he did. If it weren't for the shot in the shoulder, dating Gabby who was one of the partners at the place, who was Antonio's sister who worked in intelligence, maybe he wouldn't be an intelligence detective. So why was he trying to run away from this place? Because especially today he desperately wanted an excuse to leave?

Molly's meant a lot to Jay, because thanks to his accident, he got into intelligence, but more importantly, he met Erin Lindsay. He lived many moments with her there. Does he remember their first night at the place and it's funny because out of so many nights he's had, so many people he's met and talked to in this bar, does he remember anything from years ago? It would be weird, but it wasn't, because that was the night he knew Erin Lindsay was just his coworker.

That night they were laughing and having fun, ever since he and Erin started working together they had an ease they couldn't explain, joking was the first easy thing between them and their professional partnership. They didn't share much in their first month of partnership, they were still just getting to know each other, but something new about their partnership came that night of them at Molly's. Jay had no problem saying it served, but he didn't get into the matter and the moment Kim asked too much, the joke died, he smiled and tried to pretend everything was fine, but when he looked at Erin, in that moment he knew that it wasn't just a partnership.

Erin knew he had served and they talked little, she didn't ask too much and in that moment looking into her eyes, it was as if she knew, it was as if she understood him. She wasn't asking questions, she wasn't judging, she just...knew. She gave him a knowing smile and gave his leg a gentle squeeze under the table, as if to say she was there for him.

She was, she always was. Jay felt safe with her, felt that she was there for him even when he didn't think she deserved it. People always said that she put too much trouble in their relationship but they didn't see what a good partner Erin was to him, she was there, the few things about the army he shared was under Erin's trust, it seemed easy with her . It may sound silly, but when she asked him how he did when he was in the army at the time of Antônio's son kidnapping and he replied "we took it out on those who didn't deserve it", it was a lot for him to share, but it was about Erin, she seemed know the questions without being evasive, without pressure and without forcing him to talk.

She was always there, she knew him and Molly's was the place where they became official in public. Their private relationship wasn't because they were ashamed to be seen together, but it was much more delicate, they both had their own ghosts and only they knew each other, knew their true love. Not only was Molly's stage for them to go public, but it was where Jay thought it was right to ask her to marry him. It was where he made sure that Erin more than his partner, she was his friend, years later his girlfriend and at that time he thought she could be his wife.

That's what he was running from tonight, the memories, the moments they'd shared together, the conversations and secrets, the banter and flirtation not at all discreet. Jay was running away, because ever since she told him she lost their child, Jay's mind kept thinking about it, he couldn't stop thinking that on the night of his birthday, she was pregnant and she was suffering because he wasn't with her and for her. having killed a kid, he was sitting in this damn bar on his birthday laughing while she suffered but she still went on his birthday and Jay couldn't stop thinking that was a sign, her warning and he not listening, he let her walked out that door, he let her out of his life and damn it, he couldn't sit at this table drinking and listening to stories about her. Stories he wasn't a part of, because he let her out of his life.