Below The Hard Deck | A Top Gun Fanfiction

CHAPTER XVII

My heart is pounding in my chest as I walk up the stairs to the airport café, the same one that Goose, Maverick, and I all sat in not too long ago waiting for Carol and Bradley to arrive. I feel like I am back to square one when it comes to Maverick. Ice is optimistic that I'll somehow find a way to talk Mav out if leaving Top Gun, but I'm worried that he will want nothing to do with me or, even worse, start fighting with me right here and now. If I hadn't promised Iceman that I would actually do this, I would turn around. Things ended badly between us, but I'm just now starting to actually recover. Yet, here I am, opening old wounds.

His iconic bomber jacket, decked out with patches showcasing his various deployments and squadrons, catches my eye. The once eccentric pilot now sits on a barstool with his head leaning up against his hand as he stares into a glass, a shell of who he once was. I take a final deep breath in order to convince my feet to actually move before walking over to him.

"Hi," I breath out quietly. Pete looks up from his drink, eyes scanning over my face with confusion. I will take that emotion over anger any day. "Can I sit down?" I fully expect him to say no, so I'm shocked when he nods, motioning to the seat next to him. A waitress comes by to ask if I wanted anything, but I politely decline. I clear my throat. "So, how are you?"

Really Claddagh? Out of the hundreds of ways you pictured this conversation, you decide to lead with that question? Way to rub salt in the fresh wound. He shrugs, not meeting my gaze. "Been better."

"Charlie told me you were leaving." I had decided from the get-go to keep my conversation with Iceman a secret, at least for now. I don't want to have to worry about explaining that whole ordeal. "You were going to leave without saying goodbye?"

"Well, I know you're not keen on me flying right now. Didn't want to risk anything."

I sigh. There is the anger I was expecting. At least he isn't yelling, yet. "Maverick, I know I'm probably the last person you want to see or talk to, but I am truly sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me or anything, but I just want to make sure you know." He doesn't respond, opting to just take a sip of his drink. "Goose's death wasn't your fault, Pete. What we do is dangerous but you're one of best pilots in the Navy. Hell, you are the best. Sometimes, things happen that just aren't in our control."

He shakes his head. "I was supposed to keep him safe. Maybe if I didn't pressure Ice to clear. I don't know."

"When Valkyrie died, and I was going through all the 'what-if' scenarios in my head, you told me that doing that will only tear you up inside." He stiffens up, chewing the inside of his cheek. "Please, don't make the mistake I did."

I don't seem to be getting anywhere with my current approach. Time to stop beating around the bush. "Maverick, when I met you, you were larger than life." I can't help but smile at the memory of that night, even as tears start to brim my eyes. "And the next night, when you sang to me in that crowded bar, I knew that I would never meet someone like you ever again." I pause for a moment. "I don't want the world to loose that person."

He takes in a deep breath, scratching the side of his eye. God, what I would give to have him look back at me with those green eyes again. "Don't leave," I continue. "Don't quit Top Gun. If not for yourself, do it for Goose. Don't throw away everything that the two of you did here."

"Lucky, it's over."

"Are you really going to be happy doing anything besides going Mach 2 with your hair on fire? Mav, flying is as much a part of who you are as breathing." At this point, I'm getting a bit desperate. "You're the best of the best. To be the best of the best means you make mistakes and then you go on."

He sets his glass down harshly, finally locking eyes with me. "You think I don't know that? Claddagh, trust me, I've thought about all of this for hours on end." He swallows, turning away once more. "Look, I get you're trying to help, but if I needed help, I would ask for it."

No matter how much I wish it wasn't, it really is over. There is nothing I can say or do that will change his mind. Even if he's still physically here, his mind is somewhere far away. I'm too late. "Okay," I relent, slowly standing from my chair. "I guess this is it then. This is goodbye."

"Guess so," he mumbles.

"I know that it doesn't count for much of anything now, but these past few weeks, being here with you and Goose, they've been the most fun I've had in years. It won't be the same without you." Three words sit on the tip of my tongue, but I hold them back. It would be wrong for me to put that on him now and, even if I did, there is little chance that he would actually reciprocate them. Instead, I give him one final look, doing all I can to try to engrave his face in my memory. "So long Pete Mitchell."

I don't wait around for a response and walk straight to the exit, the little bell hanging over the door quickly getting replaced with the rumble of engines. I feel heavy as I hail a taxi, as if weights were tied to my feet to try to keep me from leaving. "Where to, ma'am?" The older driver asks.

"The harbor." The location comes out of my mouth without me even thinking, but I don't correct myself. Guess something in my subconscious has decided that it is as good a place as any to be right now. I gaze out the window as we drive. In the near distance, a F-14 takes off from the base before zooming off into the distance and out of sight.

A fresh gush of wind blows my hair back as I step out of the cab, the smell of salt, fish, and algae forcing its way into my senses. With a quick thanks, I pay the cab driver, who speeds off to find his next client. With my brain on autopilot, I find myself wandering to the spot Maverick and I sat after our dinner with the Bradshaw family. The images from that night flash through my mind.

"You know, I've known Pete for a lot of years and one thing is for certain, there are hearts breaking wide open all over the world tonight."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because, unless you are a fool, that boy is off the market. He is one hundred percent, prime time, in love with you."

Never before has a recent event felt so much like ancient history.

"I realized I'm tired of running away."

I smile, feeling the heat rise to my cheeks. "How long have you been planning that speech?"

"Honestly, since you came to my house after the funeral." He lets out an awkward laugh. "Did it work at least? Because, I spent quite few nights rehearsing this moment in my head."

I let out a pathetic laugh, wrapping my arms around myself after wiping a tear from my cheek.

"Maverick, you old stud, take me to bed or loose me forever."

He lets out a chuckle, cupping his hand over my cheek and leaning his forehead against mine, lips brushing up against my own. "Show me the way home, honey."

I look up at the sky, filled with vibrant oranges, purples, and pinks thanks to the sun creeping below the horizon. Barely above a whisper, I finally say the words that have been resting on my tongue. "I love you."