The Last of Us

Five

I hated churches.

As a kid, I'd attended service every Sunday with my grandparents. They'd both been devoted Catholics their entire lives. My hair was prodded and pulled into strict buns, and my best dresses were below the knee at all times.

When my father died, I made the decision to stop going. It upset my grandmother, and we barely speak now. My mum told me it was because she found it hard to look at me after I was taken. I still wasn't sure how that made any sense.

I think she was just covering up for the fact she hated that I lost my belief. If I ever had any at all, that is.

I can hear Talia's mother weeping softly from the front pew. Her dark hair looks wind-blown and straw-like. I doubt she had left the comfort of her bed much this week.

I knock my elbow into Danni's shoulder when I see she's busy typing a text on her phone.

"Ow," she snaps under her breath. "What was that for?"

All nine girls were attending the funeral with me today. It was obvious that no one wanted to be here, myself included. It was the thought that counted.

The least they could do was act like they cared, though.

"Put your phone away," I frown.

The side of her shaved head has been cut clean again. This time, though, she's left a small patch. It resembles an image of a skull, red fiery hair glaring back at me with beady eyes.

She glares at me, pocketing her phone with a sigh.

The service continues with a eulogy from Talia's best friend. I squeeze my hands together in my lap.

The last funeral I'd been to was a week after I'd escaped Randall's abduction. The girl who had been killed before my capture. A shiver run's down my spine.

I hadn't slept more than ten hours in total this week. If I even heard the slightest sound from outside, my body jolted awake. It could be him, my brain and body thought. He could be back for me.

The nightmares were starting to come back too. I hadn't dealt with them in years, and I was grateful for that.

I guess it is only a matter of time before everything comes crashing down again.

Although I had high hopes the police were right in saying he had no knowledge of where I lived, it was hard to listen to. Only I truly know what that man is capable of doing. I witnessed it all first-hand.

Before long, the coffin is carried down the aisle; six sullen-looking people holding the weight of Talia's body on their shoulders.

"Thank god that's over," Danni mumbles.

I send her a warning glare. There was no need for such disrespect. Imagine if people acted the way she was at her funeral.

Then again, she didn't seem like the type to care about much in this world. It probably wouldn't bother her.

I follow behind Claudine, Danni and Sophie as they give their condolences to Talia's mother. I feel my palms begin to sweat as I'm next.

"I'm truly sorry for your loss," I whisper.

Words. They are just words. I know that better than anyone.

When I lost my father, nothing anyone said could take away the pain. He was gone forever, and it only worsened when I looked into people's eyes and saw only pity.

They didn't get it, though. They couldn't truly feel the pain. It's different when you can empathise.

"She looked up to you," she says, smiling softly as a single tear rolls down her cheek. "She was so excited about that group. It was the first time I'd begun to see my baby girl again since...since she'd been taken."

I ignore the painful pang in my chest as I breathe. Feeling sad had felt like a weakness to me since I was sixteen. If I could avoid it, I did.

"I'm glad," I smile, taking her hand. "She was a lovely girl."

Truth be told, I barely remembered Talia from the first meeting. It was an awful thought, but I'd become accustomed to distancing myself from people when I had to meet so many faces through my talks.

I leave the rest of the girls to speak with Talia's mother as I walk outside of the church.

There is a cold chill to the air today. I wrap my black coat tighter around myself as the girls begin to trickle out behind me.

We stand against the side of the church, watching as the coffin is loaded into the back of the car and taken away to the burial site. That was definitely something I'd be keen to miss.

There was something so eery about watching a body being lowered six feet under you. How once the funeral ended, it would lay there alone, covered in piles and piles of dirt. How people would slowly start to forget you even existed until you were nothing more than a decayed body covered in soil.

"You all did the right thing in coming," I acknowledge. "Even if some of you found it harder than others."

Danni gives me the side-eye before muffling incoherently under her breath.

"Have they released any new information? The police, I mean," Paige asks.

"About her death? No. It's still ongoing."

"Well, it clearly wasn't an accident," Danni deadpans. "Otherwise, they would have ruled it as such after it happened."

It was a thought that had crossed my mind several times. I couldn't help but think that we were standing in the heart of a murder investigation. Something I'd longed to avoid.

My phone pings in my pocket. A new email. Probably something from my manager informing me that I had another talk to prepare for soon. The last one had been hard. People had begun questioning me about Talia before I'd even gotten to the Q and A part.

"I should get going," I inform the group. "See you all at next week's meeting."

I watch as they begin to disperse, glad to be dismissed. They don't bother saying goodbye to each other as they walk off in separate directions. It was so clear that they had the same ideas as me: don't get attached, and you won't get hurt.

I pull my phone from my pocket and open my emails. I'd been right. Yet another school talk that I was being told to do. In two days. A number of students had been affected by the loss of parents at this school, so I would have to be sensitive to that.

Why would she choose this school, anyway? It was hard enough making a new speech nearly every time to—

Oh my fucking god.

My phone fumbles in my hand, but I catch it just in time. I feel the bile rise up in my throat as my head swivels up to watch the numbers begin to dwindle as they leave the church.

From: Unknown sender.

To: harlow.sandoval13@gmail.com

Subject: Greetings!

Hello there, Harlow.

Bet you've missed me as much as I missed you.

Hasn't it been such a long time? Well, don't you fret. It would have to be much longer.

Yours sincerely,

Jay Jay xo