as it is || harry styles au

eighteen

i v o r y

After Jamie fell asleep mid-bedtime story, I sat beside his bed and watched him breathe. I took the moment to be grateful for having such an easy, lovable, and kind child. His unrelenting positivity and light was the driving force behind all that I did. Jake threatened to ruin that all tonight, and I felt lost.

I didn't know how much time passed in Jamie's room, but when my eyes started drooping shut, I knew I had to get to bed.

Emerson was passed out on the couch with the living room lights on. They'd probably been waiting for me to come out, but couldn't stay up long enough. Harry wasn't anywhere to be found either. I checked that the front door was locked and turned off the lights.

Before I went to my bedroom, a prickly feeling I got made me peek through the front windows at the driveway.

"Damn it," I hissed to myself.

I stepped into a pair of slippers by the door and unlocked it, walking out to the car in my driveway. The car door opened and Harry hopped out, striding towards me, his eyes wide.

"Ive, what's wrong? Is everything okay?" I didn't flinch when he held my shoulders and pulled me to him. "Are you okay? Jamie?"

I knew why he was here, and I knew he wasn't going to leave. "We're fine." I took his wrist and pulled him towards the house. "Come inside."

"Ivory, I—"

"You're not staying out here. Come inside."

He didn't object when I adjusted my grip to hold his hand. I locked the door behind us and kept a hold of him through the apartment.

When I closed the door to my bedroom, Harry spoke again. "You haven't gotten ready for bed?"

"I was with Jamie."

"He just now went to sleep?"

He looked next to my bed where an alarm clock I didn't use for anything other than the time sat on the floor. It was three in the morning.

"No."

The crease between his brows gave away his concern. After a few moments, he stepped towards me and ghosted a touch down my arm. "Go get out of these clothes and take a hot shower so you can get to bed."

I looked into his clear green eyes. Not clear in color, but clear in presence. It hit me all at once.

Why was he here?

How did I deserve this?

What did I do to this man besides break his heart, abandon him, and betray his trust?

"Ives, what's going on up here?" His thumb traced my hairline and down to tilt up my chin that had dipped in shame.

I shook my head, but he did, too.

     He began talking, but I did, too.

     "Iv—"

     "Harry, I don't deserve this from you. I don't deserve your care or your kindness, and you can't deny that—"