as it is || harry styles au

fifty-two

h a r r y

I could feel the panic radiating from Ivy.

     I was aware of my own feelings of alarm, but her's was all consuming.

"Jake?" I repeated, searching Jamie's face for understanding. Saying the name felt like a bad taste in my mouth. "You mentioned it for a baby name."

Jamie's eyes were dead serious looking into mine. "Yeah. I heard it when Momma was in the hospital."

     No one should have been speaking his name while Jamie was around, but that didn't mean the kid wasn't overhearing things.

"I meet Nurse Andi and Momma's friend Tristyn. Is Jake Momma's friend, too?"

I jerked my chin. "No, he's not. He's a bad guy, James."

     Ivy's hand clenched around mine. "Harry."

     My eyes snapped up to her. Jamie's did, too. Did I say something wrong? I didn't. He was a bad guy. There was only truth found in that statement. There was no other vague, detail-less way to describe the guy.

But seeing the hint of regret in her eyes made me think maybe I shouldn't have been the one to tell him so.

Jamie returned his attention to me. "Is he the bad guy that hurt Momma?"

"Oh, dang, I didn't realize what time it is. Isaiah and I have to get going." Zuri stood from the couch.

Ivy jumped at the diversion. "Thank you for everything, Z. I'll text you later. Maybe we can get lunch tomorrow."

We said our goodbyes. Jamie was none the wiser to the deliberate distraction.

     Once Zuri and Isaiah left, and before any other questions could be asked, Ivy told Jamie to find a board game for us to play later while she and I "unpacked our luggage". I wasn't sure if she meant for the double entendre or not, but I could read between the lines.

     She let me help her stand up, but shook me off to walk the rest of the way to the stairs. Regardless if she wanted my help or not, she wasn't strong enough yet to go up the stairs completely alone.

     "Ives, I'm sorry. Should I not have said anything?"

     It wasn't a dig; it was a genuine question. Was it the wrong move to answer Jamie's question?

     "Wait 'till we're in the room."

     My gut churned.

I replayed the scene on the couch downstairs over and over again. I said something wrong alright. It was wrong to say anything at all. I should've let Ivy lead the way. Only she wasn't saying anything, and I wanted to shield her from the pain of giving Jamie any kind of answer regarding Jake. I knew she prided herself on always telling Jamie the truth—only omitting when she deemed it necessary from causing him any harm—so I hardly blinked when I told him Jake was a bad guy. It was vague enough and only the truth.

     She sat on the ottoman at the foot of Dena's bed. I closed the door with a soft snick. Her eyes met mine with a look of despondence that locked in my wish that I'd never said anything at all.