Undercover Angel {Ash Lynx x Fem!Reader}

Chapter 47: Man Troubles?

A/N: Let's pretend I didn't ghost y'all for nearly half a year lol. Things are crazy busy at my new job after I moved, so I haven't had the time to focus on writing like I used to. It bums me out, but I have been setting some time aside to make sure I can add some things here and there even if it's not much. I absolutely ADORE my job, so it's no worry there, but I still wish I had more time to write. I hope you all have been well! I'm extremely happy and haven't been able to say that for such a long time. I can only hope everyone reading this can say the same or can soon start saying the same soon! I'm always available if y'all wanna talk either here or on my Instagram. I've dedicated this chapter to 'Heartbeats' by José González. As always, enjoy reading!

A new day was just as tiring as all the previous were. Showering and getting dressed was the earliest distraction of your predictable inner monologue. You had called Hector to let him know you were taking a break from the precinct for the day to strictly focus on the details of your case at the apartment. Knowing that Ash wasn't tagging along with you in the further was upsetting, however, your remorse could only go so far. Ash heard you in the kitchen making coffee, so he stepped in the room. You were aware of his presence—and you assumed he also knew that you were—but you never spoke a word to him. You didn't want to acknowledge him in that moment.
  "You're scared of me, aren't you?" Those were the first words he expressed that morning. Your lips parted, ready to speak, but closing them as soon as your thoughts came to mind. It was too exhausting to fight. You poured your creamer into the mug with the steaming hot coffee. The color shifted from a bottomless onyx shade to a burnt caramel as you stirred it.
"Y/N, talk to me." Ash asked, his voice deep. You shut your eyes, so absolutely exhausted.
"I noticed how you kept your distance from me last night. I would never hurt you." Ash defended, but still remained slightly aggressive. You audibly exhaled.
"I'll be honest, I wasn't so sure at one point, but I know that I'm not scared of you. Can we stop talking now? I'm not really up for this. There's too much I have to do." You voiced almost in a mutter, heading to your bedroom to get more work done and make some calls. Ash maneuvered in front of you.
"Y/N, stop." Ash pleaded. You looked up at him, your expression covered in unamused staleness. He was taken aback by your reaction. He knew what he had done wasn't right, but to see you becoming so calloused when it came to him left him nearly heart broken.
"Stop what? Stop giving a shit? Is that what you want me to do? Or do you just want us to continue yelling at each other?" You groaned, speaking in a hushed tone. Ash huffed.
"No, that's not what I—" Ash started, but you interrupted him immediately.
"Then what do you want from me?" You raised your voice, awaiting an answer. He didn't know what to tell you. You were at such a loss with him. Despite what happened, you refused to make more excuses for him.
"Tell me." Your voice broke. You were nearly on the brink of losing your mind over the back and forth arguments and cold shoulders the two of you shared. You were getting impatient. You stared, watching Ash remain quiet. You scoffed, smiling out of aggravation as your hand met your forehead.
"You're punishing me for something I never did. Why am I an emotional punching bag to you?" Ash's eyes went wide hearing you refer to yourself in such a way. You seemed to have further aggravated him.
"What happened to you was horrible and I'm so sorry that it did. You were raped and I wasn't there to help stop it until it was too late." You began, Ash was looking away.
  "I know you'll say it wasn't my fault and I already know that. But I still feel awful that I wasn't there in time." You stood in silence for a moment to be face to face with Ash. You were beyond serious.
  "But don't you dare take your anger out on me. I'm not going to pretend everything is fine, I can only be there for you if you allow me to. If you don't want that, that's fine with me." You informed sternly; your voice aggressively hoarse. You took a step back.
"I'm going to tell Joanna not to take the deal. It's not like it would make anyone feel good for a piece of shit like Foxx to practically get a slap on the wrist for all that he's done." You stated in your normal tone. Ash felt guilty. He could see in your face that his actions took a toll on you. He stopped you at your door.
"This is getting old." You stated with a stoic expression that matched the boredom in your voice.
"Tell Joanna to take the deal—whatever makes it easier for the case." Ash mentioned. You were shocked for a moment.
"That isn't what this is about. It's about you, and what you think would be right. You're the victim in this and we want him to go to prison for the length he deserves, not just because we need Golzine too." You explained. Ash shook his head.
"But that's what I'm saying, Foxx would've never known who I was if it weren't for Dino. In the end it all leads back to him. If not now, it'll be another time—another Foxx. I couldn't bare to see you get hurt again." You took in Ash's words, nodding after you gave it some thought. You brushed off the last part of Ash's statement, refusing to acknowledge it at the moment. You were angry too, unwilling to let go of the unfair treatment you were receiving.
"Fine, I'll let her know when I get there. Is that all?" You confirmed, readying yourself leave again. Ash wouldn't budge.
"I get it, I screwed up." Ash was upset with himself.
"Yeah, you sure did. Can I go now?" You questioned, looking into Ash's eyes soon after saying it. You had become distrusting of him overnight. Ash had never seen you like that, just like you had never seen Ash so angry with you. Though, while his better judgment begged him to make it right, there was always that lingering stubbornness inside of him pushing its way to the surface. He knew how unhealthy it was, yet didn't do much to stop it.
"You really hate me now, don't you?" Ash wondered. You peered at him, confused.
"When did I ever say that?" You wondered, mouth slightly open and eyebrows lowered to the point that they created stress lines on your forehead.
"You don't have to, it's obvious." Ash crossed his arms out of habit, staring seriously. You chuckled, annoyance present in the sound.
"That's your problem, you assume that I'm thinking things about you that I'm not. I have never hated you and I never will. You're just pissed off." You proceeded with the unruly argument. Though, you lifted your hands up a bit in tiresome defeat.
"You know what? This is pointless, we're never going to get anywhere like this." You stated, walking towards Ash to leave the room and to your own. Ash stood in your way. You looked up at him, astonished by the action.
"You have a problem too, you always have to have the last word. You always have to steer the conversation to go your way." Ash spoke with hurtful honesty. Yet, he was wrong about one thing.
"This isn't a conversation Ash, it's an argument that's just going to keep making less sense if we go on." You complained.
"We can talk about it later." You added.
"Have the conversation with yourself." Ash proclaimed sternly, moving away.
"What does that mean?" Your head went back in shock as you turned around to watch what he was doing.
"It means I'm leaving." He replied angrily.
"Are you serious?" You asked in disbelief, even laughing it off. Ash grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair in the dining area. He headed to the front door on his own before you followed.
"Okay, I know you're angry, but at least put on your disguise before going or wait for an officer to pick you up to drive around." You insisted, hoping Ash would listen. He ignored your words, opening the door to head out.
"Ash!" You shouted for him, yet he proceeded on, never looking back. You stood in the middle of the hallway, watching as his figure slowly disappeared.
"Man troubles?" You heard a deep voice. You turned to view Blanca and Yut-Lung standing before you from the opposite end of the hallway. You sneered, rolling your eyes.
"What now?" You questioned, wishing to avoid their company all together.
"Some assistance perhaps?" Blanca uttered. You groaned and allowed the two men inside the apartment.
"Nice place." Blanca went on. You couldn't help but continuously roll your eyes at times when it came to Blanca's dialogue.
"What is it you need help with?" You wondered, leaning your backside against the back of the couch, facing the two males. You crossed one leg over the other.
"We're not here in search of your help, we're here to help you." Yut-Lung expressed. You shifted, standing up straight. It was obvious how confused you had become.
"It's about Dino. I have some information that I think would help you get in better touch with him." Blanca mentioned nonchalantly. You crossed your arms, scoffing with disbelief.
"And you decide that now is a good idea?" You wondered, agitated by the late timing.
"I should've come clean from the beginning. I never wanted you or Ash to be put in this kind of danger." Blanca was visibly apologetic. You sighed, allowing them a seat at the couch.