Oblivion

Oblivion - Part 1

I wake up startled by my own scream and drenched in my own sweat, I look around disoriented. Four little eyes look at me in surprise, but that surprise quickly disappears when they realize I'm awake. Their two heads begin to push my hands and they start to purr, which brings me back to reality. I can always rely on my two cats, JJ and Rickie, they always come to calm me down after a nightmare. I have nightmares often enough, but not as this one. Everything seemed so real, the thrill of the chase, the flames burning on my skin. I give both cats a pat on the head before I get out of bed. When I go into my kitchen to get a glass of water, I see the time on the microwave clock. "Jeez, two thirty" I complain with a sigh. I fill my glass with water, but I don't take a sip. I rest my hands on the edge of the counter top and with my eyes closed, I rest my head on the back of my neck. I'm trying to recall what happened in my nightmare, although it's not that hard. It's always the same, a girl is murdered, I'm suspected of it and I'm on the run, I'm helped by an attractive stranger whose face I never get to see and the moment I'm locked in a barn that's on fire and the flames touch my skin I scream awake in shock. This time it was no different, except that it seemed much more real. Details were clearer, more people were involved. And none of them I know by face or by name. I shrug my shoulders "shake it off, it's like always". I take a sip of my water before walking back to my bedroom.

Both cats had lay down where I just had laid, probably because it was so nice and extra warm there. They look at me insulted when I gently push them aside to be able to lie back on my place in bed. They're all I have, I don't have family, let alone friends. A loner as they call it. Not that I mind, I tell myself that. I've had friends and serious relationships, only these broke because they can't handle my independence or the nightmares. And let's not talk about my weird traits, I've had so many comments about it, 'You're paranoid, you're always looking for something behind things, that I'm too emotional'. Maybe they were right, maybe I'm weird and crazy. I just don't care about all that, I am who I am. Although I sometimes miss something in my life, something I did have but can't put my finger on what it was.

When I lie on my back and stare at my ceiling, I dream about how I got into my apartment. How my then-boyfriend helped me after I was released from the hospital. Not that I can remember him from before my hospital time. After that it was only a month before he broke off our relationship. That relationship lasted just under half a year, of which I only remember a month. I think that got to be too much for him, that I couldn't remember him. Not that I blame him, I can understand how hard that must have been for him. I actually can't remember anything from before my hospital time, my doctors told me I had suffered a severe head trauma in a car accident. And that's why I can't remember anything now. That also might be the reason why I miss something in my life. They said it might come back to me, but that was about four years ago now and I don't have hope it ever will. Of course I did end up with some mental problems, so I now take pills for depression and anxiety. Thank god, these work well. Because of those, I was able to take up my life again, to find a job. And so I wouldn't get lonely I took in two kittens. Both cats lay against me, purring, while I am still thinking, but the purring makes me sleepy. I wiggle a little more to get comfortable, and fall asleep.