Oblivion

Oblivion - Part 9

A month has passed since our first meeting. We've been on a few dates, he's told me more about my past. We click nicely, but I don't feel a real twinkle yet. That's why I'm taking it easy. I work my five days a week, trying follow my daily routine as best I can. Only today is different.

Three weeks ago, just a week after I met with Jake, I went to see a neurologist for the first time. One who specializes in amnesia. He was shocked by my story. And furious when I showed what pills I had been given to take. I haven't touched them since Jake told me not to take them. The neurologist, Dr. Jeffrey Millward, had told me that he didn't recognized the pills at all and wanted to do research for himself what exactly is in the pills. Today I'll get the results, he had called me yesterday and indicated that he wanted to speak to me urgently. I didn't tell Jake about my visits to Dr. Millward. I know I shouldn't keep secrets. Only I didn't want to give Jake false hopes that things could be all right again, as far as my memories are concerned.

I'm waiting in the chair, facing Dr. Millward. He is still busy working on his computer. "Sorry for the wait, but I really need to get the report." he doesn't even look up. It takes another five minutes, but then I hear his printer and he jumps from his chair. When he has taken the papers from the printer, he sits down in front of me. "Okay, I've done the analysis on the pills. And I've requested your records from after the incident. MRIs, scans, photos, blood work. I'm not going to beat around the bush, I'm deeply shocked." his face is soft, as if he is going to tell me terrible news. "Layana, I'm so glad your friend told you to stop taking the pills. They're pure poison. It's a custom-made pill. It contains substances such as arbiturates, amphetamines and alprazolam, among other excipients. These substances are highly addictive, so I'm surprised you didn't have any withdrawal symptoms.

But coming back to custom-made, these pills are specifically made to suppress your memory and bring any recovery of your memory to a halt. He looks at me and asks if I can still follow him. "Yeah, I'm definitely still following it. In other words, these pills are made especially for me because they don't want my memory to come back.". "Precisely!" he answers. "But there is also good news. I've seen all your photos and the like, the damage you described was exaggerated. The damage is not that bad, and after four years it should already be healed. What I want to do is a new scan of your brain. We can do that immediately after this conversation. There's also one other thing we can do, it's experimental, but I want to give you the choice. We have a medication, which purifies unwanted substances that come from medicines and/or drugs from the body. This could just speed up the process of restoring your memory. The only known side effect is diarrhea. This can last up to three days and drinking water is the most important."

He reaches forward and puts his hand on mine, the way doctors do. "Listen, what they did to you is indescribable. And if you want, I can and will testify for you if you want to report them. But besides that, I want to do everything I can to help you get your memory back." I sigh deeply, hope is a dangerous commodity. Only this time I think hope is justified. "Fine. Let's do it all. The scan, the medication.". He squeezes my hand in recognition of my choice.

The new scan showed that the old one had been manipulated. Yes I had some damage, but certainly not as bad as it was said. And now there is no damage to see at all. My brain should be working like no other. Which made the doctor realize that the pills had been working for longer and deeper than he first expected. I was on the drip for three days, to flush all substances from my body. And I noticed that all to well, almost three days non-stop on the toilet. But I no longer had nightmares. More and more images came back to me. The doctor had warned me that I would not get everything back, just the vast majority. That was enough for me.

On day four, when my diarrhea had stopped, I was allowed to go home. I certainly don't have all my memories back yet, so the doctor advised me to look at lots of pictures, listen to stories, and most importantly, visit places, anything to trigger the memories. And that's what I intend to do.