Le Adventures of Baldee

The End Of The World

Haha, I told you to find out what happens next only at the end of the world. So you reached it I guess. Kudos to you. 

Baldy floated in the Genshin Temari minigame for a short while, wondering why all those beautiful women are chasing a colored thread ball and hiding it in the grass. Then, he was jerked back to reality by Copyright Issues. He landed on the soft floor with a loud thud which made all da dust bunnies fly to Planet Y. 

Wait... soft floor? Could this be the legendary Planet X in the chapter "Birbo, Pepetown" ? Baldy stared up at the sky in shock. The sky was filled with deez nuts. Baldy gasped. This had to be Planet X unless the smart human reading this can name any other planet with deez nuts floating in the sky. 

At this point of time, Baldy decided that this paragraph was getting less child friendly. He was afraid that the writer would mention anything else about nuts to young innocent children so he decided to get up on his bum and explore the Planet X. He walked through thousands of nuts and floating debris but didn't find his precious golden toilet seat. Baldy was bummed. 

At that moment, a guitar was sucked into somewhere in front of Baldy. Baldy was excited. 

"The world is ending," a band sang as they, too, were sucked into the something. 

"Deliver us from evil," an old man sang as he ate an apple. Both the man and apple got sucked in. 

"Aether simps for Yae Miko," sang Baal as she got sucked into the something. 

"Save the environment," sang a boomer, oblivious of Covid-19, as he got sucked into the something. 

"Baldy is dumb," sang a rock as it got sucked into the something. 

Baldy was angy. Nobody should call him dumb. It hurts his feelings and makes him feel sad! (Yes kids, we teachers are going to tell you this is how bullying is like.) 

Baldy chased after the rocky. He wanted to hunt him down and sue him, then strip off his flesh and eat him with tomato sauce and black pepper steak. With lots of vegetables of course. Unfortunately, rocks do not have flesh and neither are they edible. Baldy was undeterred anyways. 

"Come back," he yelled angrily, "I will grill you in barbecue sauce and stir-fry you in onions and nuts and thread your flesh through a stick with balls and coat you in ketchup! You b-"

"Heyo buddy, let's chill it down," a random police dude said, "that kind of threat isn't cool. What's up with you and balls? And you almost said a swear word! This is a kids story!"

"Don't give a shit about it," said baldy nonchalantly. The poolice was shoockethed. 

"You're under arrest," he yelled.

"I already was," Baldy pointed out blankly, " in the Anime Production Center." 

The police dude flicked through his black book (it is NOT death note) and saw Baldy's criminal record in there, "oh okay." The poolice then proceeded to dump Baldy in the bin, but him and the bin were sucked together into the something. 

Baldy was so terrified that he forgot to yell something offensive at the poopylice. He clutched onto his bin lid with all his strength and closed his eyes, bracing himself for the impact. 

"It's the end of the world," the band he met earlier in the pre-void sang. He was in a void space now, with nothing but a swirling vortex of lasers because lasers is lasers and I was a laser and lasers is cool brother. 

NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, BORK BORK! A pack of cute lil puppies were singing in the vortex. 

Baldy decided to sing a beautiful rendition of "Never Gonna Bork You Up". Unfortunately the doggies weren't impressed and yeeted him out of his rubbish bin. Fortunately, Baldy still had the lid, so he climbed onto the lid and sat on the handle which poked his nuts. Nevertheless, Baldy persevered and remained calm until he reached the end of the vortex, after one hour and nine minutes converted into minutes. 

The puppies, band, boomer, Baal and old man + apple caught up with Baldy when he emerged on a bright pink platform decorated with stickers of catgirls because catgirls are catgirls and I was a catgirl and catgirls are cool brother, but not really. 

"Where are we?" A breathless Baal whispered, drawing out her sword, which was a performance no one could miss because you know why. 

A catgirl dropped down and bonked onto his head. Then a cute little doggy fell down and landed on the ground before bouncing at an instantaneous speed of 69km/s. When he finally landed flat on the ground, a beautiful calico fell beside him but never bounced. 

"It's raining cats and dogs," the old man noted. 

"And catgirls," said his apple. 

The boomer rubbed his eyes, "how were the statistics of my global warming presentation?"

Baal sighed and spent time trying to cut the floor open. "The floor knows the answer."

"I don't remember such witch doctor advice coming from anybody," Baldy commented. 

"Are we gonna die?" The band sang.

"Quiet," Baal snapped, "talking about death isn't cool. I didn't put trigger warnings for death so you better keep your mouth shut about it."

The floor which she sliced open hardened immediately. It cracked and started spewing unholy liquids. Everyone backed away from the Unholy Liquid Place because unholy liquid so unholy liquid so I am an unholy liquid since unholy liquid. BEST EXPLANATION EVER *CLAP CLAP*!!!!!!!!! 

Baldy was scared to the extent of wetting his pants. The liquid was turning from an unholy shade of grey to an unholy shade of creamy off-white, like pus. The pus slowly accumulated to form the form of an enraged poolice officer dude. He gasped. The officer was the exact same officer who wanted to punish him. 

"Run for your lives!" Shrieked Baldy, leaving all the other people behind feeling confused. Baldy pelted away from the pus but fell after 69 meters 

"Idiot," the police dude laughed, "I'm not Bobby. I am his evil twin."

Baldy sighed in relief. He shook hands with the Twin and exchanged swear words with him. After a short while he turned into a bird but his body melted back into floor because floor so floor since floor is cool because I am floor. 

Baal left in disgust. She went back to the vortex and cast some voodoo stuff to make is reverse, then went in. After she escaped from Planet X she un-reversed it to make it normal. The vortex crumbled into nothing. 

Everyone groaned. They had no way out.