Le Adventures of Baldee

Planetary Exploration

Baldy and team decided to proceed forward and forget about the woman they just met. Their goal was to find Baldy's toilet seat and sue the rock, not to bed women, but let's not consider the possibility. 

Baldy did a head count. He had one police dude's evil twin, one old man, one apple, one boomer, puppy triplets, and one band consisting of a lead singer, guitarist, pianist, and the dude in a band who doesn't do anything at all but just goes onstage to look pretty in cosplay.

Baldy told his group the plan, which was to sail on the rubbish bin lid and explore the planet, trying to locate his shiny golden toilet seat ( or was it lid? idk anymore). Afterwards, they can find women to bed if they want to, but it won't be in this book. You have to use your imagination bruh, and please stop thinking about it. 

The old man nodded, and so did his apple and the rest of the team. The Evil Twin used his magical unholy powers. He can actually shoot cool lasers because lasers is lasers and lasers is cool and I am a laser. He shot fifty million cool lasers at the bin lid because he's gay, which magnified the lid to 69000 times its original size meaning that it can now fit the whole team with space to spare for a burrito shop, like some sort of UFO. 

"That's fine, thanks," said Baldy, but the Evil Twin insisted on using his magical unholy powers to shoot more unholy stuff. The unholy stuff melted into chairs and a control panel consisting of buttons labelled balls and deez nuts OH LOOK A FLYING DEER! WHOHOO!!

The process of the construction of the mobile was so disgusting that I can't even describe it. When the interior design was done, Evil Twin made a point of chewing gum and blowing a huge bubble to enshroud the whole thing. He also remembered to add a door. 

"Quickly," he panted, gesticulating for everyone to go in. When the boomer finally entered, the whole UFO took flight and soared into the galactic skies of Planet X. It was a beautiful sight. There was pretty much only black and black and sparkly and black because Planet X has 69 moons and 126 stars but no suns. 

Oh, there's a shooting star! Baldy closed his eyes and made a wish, but at that moment the shooting star crashed into his flying vessel. Everyone was knocked out of the vessel and boom. Everyone except Baldy fell out of Planet X and into the moon because that's how the solar system works you little piece of shit. 

The shooting star was a genshin summon. You know, that streak of light which appears when you summon a five-star or super rare shit. Unfortunately, it was not a beautiful lady. It was a stupid useless rock. And the rock...

"You," Baldy exclaimed, "you... you are the rock wh..."

"WHO CALLED ME DUMB," he finished angrilly, and summoned a frying pan using all the genshin summons he had. Unfortunately, the rock pulled a booba sword on him and their frightening duel began...

Baldy hit his pan on the ground and caused all the planets except Planet X to shatter and explode into lasers because laser is so laser and I am laser so cool. Rocky aimed for Baldy's balls with his soward but missed. Baldy countered his attack but Rocky dodged and stabbed his sword into Baldy's hair. For a moment, pink and purple and blue trickled down his head, and his hair fell clean off because he was wearing a wig. Rock stabbed at Baldy, only to reveal another 68 wigs, each dyed to commemorate pride month.

"Pride month is over you bish," said Roock, "screw."

"not nice," baldy commented harshly. 

Just then, the CEO of Anime Production chucked the rocky out of the universe and confiscated the booba sword because it's copyright of Raiden Shogun and Genshin. He then magicked the sword to make it disappear into thick air and looked at Baldy. 

"Come with me," he spoke, "I will show you where your toilet seat is." CEO summoned this random 汽车, then pushed Baldy in it before going in himself. He drove the 汽车 to Ashton's Gay Class, then stopped for a gay class and left Baldy stranded in the middle of the road. Luckily for him, there were lots of entertainment services on the car such as YouTube. 

The CEO went back from his Gay Class and drove Baldy 69k miles to a random area which Baldy did not like. It was full of brown trees and black trees and beige trees and white tress and hotpink tresse but they all donot have LEAVESS, only stciks. It gave Baldy shivers, and he almsot saw a...

Oh nO!! Blady HAs been struck by the LIgthningth of Bruh, strikign bdaly with a curse that disallows hinm from typikng properly!!!!!!!!!!!111!!!!!!!1!1!!! 

BruH .. The CEooh did not notice hiiis predickament. Fortunately, Baldy foundeth aaaanne antidote for The Lightning Of Bruh in the glove compartethmenteth, and drnak it. unfortunraetly he was only cured a little, like 10 precnet. Eeeks. Horrible tastign. Eeh. Eh, Baldy's hair started singing NEVER Gonaan GIev You Upp! bork bork! 

The CEO noticed this weird behaviour and snet him to the hopital. At the hopital he was cured so they continued... 

SOon, they reached a building with one window the shape of an armchair.