Le Adventures of Baldee

aftermath

Le Ba'el begins. 

*insert cool boomer music*

Baldy goes first because video games are polite when it comes to combat. He summons his very useful torch and shines a beam of invisible light on the thunderbolt genital boy. The lightning balls dude was not affected because balls are balls after all. He pushed some secret button on the wall and a large sack of balls rained down on Baldy. I wanted to mean the balls in children's play pools, but if you're thinking of something else like I am please just use your imagination. 

Baldy was angerdy. The button had ruined his star move, but he knew that the lihgtning ballez dude had plenty of other erotic tricks up his sleeve. Baldy ran around and did this cool feint thing which I always see in action films and idk, and it actually worked. Nice. This should be a show. 

Baldy darted around the room like a squirrel, trying to find a sensitive spot to strike. I mean all spots except the one which produces electricity. 

*cool boomer music blaring* 

The lightning genital dude was not able to match Baldy's minimal physical skill, so he used his voodoo magic ball power (cool name). He screamed a bunch of nice attack phrases like anime people do when they can't hit others hard enough, then duplicated a bunch of winged balls which crackled with electricity. The floating appendages drifted towards Baldy at a very fast speed which might even win a snail in a footrace, and jets of electric current circled them in a menacing manner. Baldy was scared. Oh dear. Lightning Balls are his worst enemy. 

He had to act fast. 

He had to act fast. 

So he darted around the room again because it's cool, then swung a non existent big big sword at the flying balls (insert trademark symbol). The balls cracked into dust but respawned in 0.1 seconds. Baldy did a series of super cool moves in fnf so the one true enemy was finally defeated lmao. 

Electric Private Part Guy was enraged. How dare he destroy his preciously summoned electric balls? He pointed his finger at the ceiling and made a lot of crap rain down, which is something I endure with my class everyday. 

Since Baldy lived on a basis of crap and crap, he wasn't amazed or shook by this shit. He stepped aside confidently and kicked the dude in the balls, which was electrifying. Literally. 

Electric Genital Boy used his star move, named Balls, to summon one hundred million balls, but unfortunately he ran out of materials to manufacture balls by 69 thousand. 

Baldy swept the balls aside and retaliated with his own brand of voodoo magic before the guy could form a facial expression. He pointed his finger at the floor and summoned A BIG KARAOKE MACHINE, AYYE!!! 

The machine blared a lot of Japanese songs sung by Mika Nakashima and also that uh, who was that? The volume was on 100 so Lightning Podex Guy's ears bled and bled. But no there was no blood to keep this friendly, only air and uh, air ig, flowing out of his ears. It was not a pretty sight. 

A SUDDEN KISS IN THE MORNING...

A LOVELY GAZE IN THE EVENING...

"Whoops," Baldy said because funny is funny, "I did something wrong."

Baldy was still giggling like a schoolgirl when he realised that he was zapped by 69 million volts of lightning from the guy's pants. Baldy giggled and giggled until his words formed a water gun. The water gun had a note attached that says your mom is gay. Baldy ate the note and giggled because funnies! HHHAAAHAHAHAHA!! Then he switched to serious giggling mode and aimed the water gun at the Thunderstorm Testicle Dude, who was still shooting lightning at him. 

Baldy thinks of a badass phrase, "Lightning is uncool, laser is cool because laser."

He pressed the button of doom to end his nemesis...

UNDERNEATH THE DISCO BALL...

But nothing happened because the water gun is dry.  

Baldy giggles. Lightning Balls is disgusted. He kicks the water gun out of Baldy's hands with his balls. 

JUST PLAYING GAMES, I KNOW IT'S PLASTIC LOVE...

Baldy managed to react before the man's reproductive system could electrify him again. He yelled some inappropriate phrases to summon a water gun 2.0. 

The water gun 2.0 was magic lol, it shot lots of cool lasers because your mom is gay. In the end the lightning bally dude was reduced to a pile of shit which was a pity because he was gay. I mean, he had lightning balls. How many people whom you know possess this unique trait? 

We interrupt this story to encourage you to keep your mind away from an excess of dirty items such as this story, thank you. Exercise and sleep well, and I don't mean it the dirty way like I probably would. 

Alright enough logic. The moral of the story: you can defeat even the strongest people who have lightning balls if you have a water gun. 

Hey I really should teach kids this in uh, ninety years. 

Nah, I'd be too much of a bad teacher. 

***

Alright, after Baldy finished his super useless battle he was tired and miffed so he ate a banana the end. A banana is a fruit, just to clarify. It has yellow skin. Stop thinking about it. It's just fricking food. 

Yknow what, nevermind. As the proverb (or saying? idiom? simile? I'm confused but not confused rn) goes, in bed with your mom is the best place to be. 

Oh i invented that. 

Ok, so our brave hero stepped over his enemy's body (cool) and went forward to a secret door revealed by who knows. 

After he stepped out of the arena (lol) he found another challenge...