Lovers (Lumity)

Luz stuck in my head

Amitys pov:

I hate myself.

I hate myself for so many reasons. I just wish my life could be normal but it is not. I hate how I treated Luz. Everyone sees me as someone that is perfect but I am really not. I care for Luz. I regret what I said to her today. I wish I could talk to Luz and tell her everything. But I cannot. I even failed one of my tests today because I was too busy thinking about her. Once my mom finds out I am dead. The last time I failed a test was in 4th grade. I got grounded for a week because of that. I was about to pull out the test but it was not in my backpack. I don't even plan onshowing my mom the test. Luckily she does not know that I had a test today.

"AMITY GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW."

That was my mom. I could tell I am about to be in deep shit right now. I ran downstairs. I wonder what it is this time.

"Amity what the heck is this?"  She said to me showing me the math test I failed.

"Where did you get that from." I don't even know where she got that from.

"That's not important right now mittens. Answer my question now." As she said that she gave me a slap right across the face.

"It's my math test that I took at school today."

"I am so disappointed in you mittens. I really thought you were better than this. You're grounded for a full month. Which means no getting out of the house only get out of the house for school and work. No dinner and breakfast for you for a month and you have to study more."

"Yes mom." I went back to my room. My mom is so mean. I hate myself. I am pretty sure everyone hates me. Even Boscha, Brianna, and Stella. They never include me in things outside of school. They always have sleepovers without me and post it on instagram. But I hate them too. We are friends only because our parents want us too just because our parents are friends. I understand why Skara stopped talking to us. She is still just not that nice sometimes. 

I hear a knock on my door I just tell whoever it is to come in. It was Emira and Edric "Hey mittens. We brought you dinner. Don't tell mom though. We know you hate us but we just found it really mean that mom is doing this to you." 

"Thank you. Also I do not hate you guys. It is just that mom tells me to act mean to everyone except her, dad, and my friends.

"You know what. Do not even listen to mom." Emira says to me. I do not know how I could do that.

"What? She is going to kill me. Even If I mess up one tiny little thing I get grounded."

"Okay why did you even get grounded today anyways." Edric questions.

"Because I failed my math test even though I studied hard for it."

"We know you are distracted by the human."

"What no. Wait how did you know. I mean-"

"Maybe next time do not leave your diary opened up on your bed." I know my siblings did not read my diary. But I am just going to ignore that because it is not like they have not done it before.

"Yeah your right"

"Just like we said don't care about what mom says just talk to Luz tomorrow at school and no one is perfect so do not listen to what mom says about being perfect and shit." 

"Thank you. You guys are the best."

"No problem. We are always here for you sis."Edric said while walking out of my room with Emira.

I think I am going to listen to my siblings. Tomorrow is the day where I finally talk to Boscha, Brianna and Stella and tell them I am done being friends with them. I know exactly what I am going to say to them. I will finally also talk to Luz. I am done acting like a jerk. I do not like being like that to people. I have to work at this time so I grab the things I need. I decide to bring my own book to read to the kids. I work at a library. I read to kids once a week. Which is every Monday. I decided to bring my Azura book 1 since the library does not have it. Luz and I always read that together. I do not know if she still even reads it. I still love the book. But I actually like work. I enjoy reading to the little kids. I have been doing it for almost a year. I started to walk to the library. What I also like about working at the library is that she works when I work at the library. My mom works this time on Mondays and she doesn't get back until like twelve in the morning. So when I get back from work I do not have to worry about my mom yelling at me. So we always eat dinner early on Mondays since mom works from 5 pm to 12 am. My dad is an engineer so he is always working at home making stuff. He always gets a lot of money from it.

I got to the library. I was 10 minutes early so I have a little bit of time. While I was waiting for the little kids. I see Luz in the library. I wonder what she is doing here. She really does not read a lot of other books other than the Azura books. Maybe she stopped reading those books. I do not know why all I think about now is Luz. I decided to talk to her now. I am kind of scared to talk to her though. But I am just going to go for it. I am pretty sure Luz noticed me because I could see her looking at me. "Hi Luz."

Once I said hi to her she looked confused but she still said hi back. Even after everything I have said to her she is still super nice to me. "Oh hi Amity." The room went silent for a moment. It felt kinda awkward." But then she said something. 

"Listen I know you hate me so just please leave me alone. You have done enough."

"I don't hate you. I never did. Just let me talk." Luckily she let me actually talk to her. I thought she would never. But that is understandable because I was not nice to her. 

"I am sorry for the way I treated you the past week. I just want to let you know that I did not want to treat you that way. My mom doesn't really like me being friends with you. She tells me to be the person I was to you. But I do not care what she says anymore. I get it if you don't forgive me. After what a horrible person I have been to you I understand why you would not forgive me."

"I forgive you. I understand what you're saying. But just because I forgive you I can't say we are friends right now. We can only be friends once I fully trust you."

"Thanks for forgiving me. I get why we are not friends right now. I know this won't make up for what a bad person I have been to you but I work here and read to the kids. I am reading the first Azura book. I don't know if you still read it but do you want to maybe read it together."

"Yes of course. I also still read it."

So we read to the kids. Luz was reading all of the Azura parts and I read all the Hecate parts. It was so fun. I have never had this much fun at work before. 

"Do you want to read with me every week?" I asked Luz

"If you are okay with it"

"Yes I am more than okay with it. You made work so much fun today"

"Okay then. I have to go now. Bye I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye Luz."

I start to also get home now too since it is getting late. Luz has to be the most forgiving person I have ever met. I do not know why but Luz has been like the only thing I have been thinking about today. I don't know why but I think I might have a crush on her. Wait no thats silly. She probably does not like me anyway. 

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My goal is to finish this story before September.