trapped | lierra

four

Amber

"How was your weekend?" Sierra asked.

"Alright, how about you?" I politely asked back.

"It was good, did you do anything fun?"

"Not really,"

We quickly went through the normal questions.

"Sleeping better?"

"Yep,"

"Medication good?"

"Yep,"

"Any nightmares, thoughts on what happened, anything like that?"

"Nope,"

I lied on every single question.

"Well, then I guess we're good," she clapped her hands and leaned back in her chair.

"Good?" I looked up in confusion.

"Yeah, you seem perfectly fine now," she told me, "we don't need to meet anymore,"

"We don't?"

"Nope," she stood up and held out her hand for a handshake. "I'm glad I could help make all those problems go away,"

I was in shock as I slowly stood up and shook her hand hesitantly.  "We're just done?" I questioned and she nodded.

"Yeah, you said you weren't having any of the problems," she shrugged and let go of the handshake.

"But I didn't expect it to be done,"

"Well, if you don't have any problems,"

"But, I mean, I still think about it a lot and-" I froze as she raised an eyebrow. "You tricked me,"

She lightly laughed and sat back down in her chair, followed by me, "Amber, what you went through is something no one should have to go through. It's ok if you have days where this is the only thing you think of, and days where you don't think about it at all, but I need you to be honest with me. The questions I'm asking are questions for your wellbeing, they aren't questions where it has to get personal. You don't have to say anything you don't want to, but I need you to be honest with me. You can't keep lying, we get nowhere then,"

I was quiet for a moment, then spoke up, "The medication does nothing, it doesn't help with anything," I admitted. She started to take notes, "And I don't sleep. I'll fall asleep, but someone or a nightmare will wake me up. Once I'm up, I don't stop thinking about it,"

"What do you mean someone will wake you up?' she asked.

"My sister or one of her friends will, they always have people over. They're always partying and having guys over," I explained.

"Do you feel safe living with them?" she asked.

Now was my opportunity to speak up and say no, to confess everything. I could be completely honest and tell her what had been happening, as well as what happened that weekend. She could possibly help, I could feel safe. But the fear was too much.

"Yeah, I do,"