Sunflower Crown | account & me

i took down Wild Heart from my other account

I'm going to repeat in one more time I guess while it sinks in: I have just taken down the majority of Wild Heart from Wattpad.

It feels a little bit sad. Probably partly because it feels like saying goodbye to Wattpad in a way that I haven't really understood or processed.

This website, this community, was my safe haven for years and years and years. It's through this community that I found joy in continuing to post my work online, that I felt consequential - important enough - to write something and post it at the age of 13. I posted my first true works, my first three original books, I posted so much fanfiction that my teeth dripped of honey from the sweetness of Sokeefe.

It's bittersweet.

I have been largely removed from the Wattpad community for a while, and despite the best of my efforts, also removed from writing a bit more as of late. I just have too, too much going on right now in my head. The next few years are setting up to be complicated for me. This year is complicated for me. If you've stuck around with me for a while, you can probably guess what stage of my life I'm entering now and what life changes come with it. It's that, plus a bit more.

I wish it was easier, but it's not. 

The choice to take books down from Wattpad out of fear that someone will plagiarize my work makes my heart hurt. Another work gone from this community, another work lost to plagiarism or the threat of it gone off Wattpad. My best work that I've arguably ever made - my best original - is nowhere where people can even appreciate it very accessibly. I mean, you can read it on Patreon, but it's not the same for any of us. 

It might be the Camden by Gracie Abrams I've been listening to on repeat while writing this, or it might just be me, but right now I feel really sad. In this moment my heart just hurts a little bit.

Nothing is forever.

My heart hurts.