Sunflower Crown | account & me

Sunflower Crown & the Future Talk

This rant is about the original book that this was meant to be (Sunflower Crown) and then it goes off into many concerns of mine rather quickly.

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I have no idea what I'm doing.

Please just bear with me here. I know it's a long, intimidating bunch of words. But it's not just about this story. It's not just an explanation. It borders on a rant, almost. I want your opinion. Even though I know most people will say something along the lines of "do whatever makes you happy" or something along the lines of that, I really want real feedback.

Onto business - I'm having second thoughts about writing this story. A part of me is just tired about writing in the KOTLC universe/about the characters. I love Keefe, I love Sophie, but I'm extremely scared that if I'm tired now, not even done with Seventeen, by the end of that am I going to really want to write some more?

It must be lovely, just being able to flit through all of my stories and know that all of them are up to (at least) standard quality. It's the original reason that I wanted to write Set A Torch for this fandom. I want people like me to be able to read quality stories without having to worry about whether they're going to be finished, whether they've got proper grammar, whether they will continuously be updated or not. I'm glad I'm able to provide that for you guys. Truly.

But at the same time, what if I could do that for other fandoms? I'm also passionate about Maya and Josh from Girl Meets World, and the entire miraculous love square thing. There's just so much other material to work with.

I'm having second thoughts.

The story's plot is already written, for the most part. And truth be told, it's got no romance in it. I feel like it's going to be boring, which is the last thing I want for something I'm working on for months at a time, never mind for my readers. I feel like I just wrote a story identical to this one in some of its values on my other account.

I don't think I've ever gone into a story with this much doubt. Writing the plot is a chunk of time out of your schedule, but writing an entire book is even more by more than triple. I'm not sure I'm up to the task this time.

Some of you guys that have been with me a long time might have started noticing that I'm getting worn down. At the beginning, I got home from school and dove for my computer. I wanted to see the comments, I wanted to write as soon as I could. It's not that my love for writing or reading your comments has waned at all - that would never happen. I'm not scared of running out of ideas, or running into writer's block so much as I am scared that my motivation is slowly leaving me.

It's getting tougher and tougher to update. Field hockey, school, homework, guitar, soccer, biking. My other account.

In the beginning, I was balancing - what? - something like five books at once. My graphics, my song suggestions, musical whims, i'm waiting, set a torch/light it up. Now, I look back and think how did I do that?

Each of my stories within this account has been different. Almost drastically. No one book is extremely similar. I have Set A Torch, the cliche sokeefe fanfiction that got me started. Light It Up, my first story that took place in a human world, in high school. Dear Keefe Love Foster, a collection of letters that I prewrote in a day in a pharmacy. I have Stina, the backstory of the girl I couldn't understand, but I wanted to understand. Seventeen is there - my first completely human AU that deals with sickness and soulmates. [Maybe, I wrote that so far from the KOTLC universe for this exact reason. Heck if I know.] And those are just my KOTLC (which is most of my account, admittedly at this point) fanfictions. I have other stories on this account, too.