mental | lwt

Chapter 28: Realization

A/N: Chapter 28! I hope you enjoy! This chapter is actually really important lol. Remember to comment, vote, and fan if you haven't already! Thanks it means so much to me! I love you guys so much!<3

-Reese Stylinson xxxx

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Emma

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I shut the door behind me, smiling like crazy after Louis waved good-bye. I wasn't sure if I was crushing on him, but he did give me butterflies. In fact, it was more than that. Louis had the ability to make my heart race and just make me blank out, and he has no idea what he does to me. I've been blushing for the past half four or so since I kissed Louis on the cheek and he told me he loved me. Which, I could not seem to figure out what he exactly meant by that.

I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, thinking more to myself. I couldn't deny it anymore. Louis was beautiful. His feathery, caramel hair made you just want to run your fingers through it all the time. And his eyes, possibly the best thing about him. They were such a deep shade of blue, and once you find yourself staring into them, you can't seem to look away.

And his lips, so sweet. I felt something when I kissed him. It was as if I was struck by lightning or stung by some kind of spark the second my lips touched his, and it was just undescribable. The way they moved perfectly in sync with each other, and how he was so stubborn when it came to deepening the kiss some more. I found myself smiling, mentally slapping myself out of it as I headed upstairs to my bedroom.

I immediately changed out of my dress, closing my bedroom door behind me. I thought of changing into my pajamas since it was almost ten o'clock at night, so that's what I did. I pulled my hair back into a messy ponytail on my left shoulder, and slipped on a night shirt that was way too big for me. I crawled into bed, slipping underneath the covers and trying to get myself to fall asleep.

No matter how tired I was, I still couldn't get myself to fall asleep. My eyes felt heavy and droopy, but I just couldn't stop thinking about what all happened tonight. First, we get in the car, and Louis is sitting extrememly close to me. Second, I find out that Drake stood me up and started crying in the bathroom. When Louis came in to talk to me, even though I acted as if I wanted to be alone, I was actually glad he was there.

When I hugged him, he seemed to relax in my arms and hug me back. I remember burying my face into his chest, and he smelled so good. I inhaled his cologne, and once we pulled away, Louis wiped a tear that escaped my eye. When we rode home and he walked me to my front porch, he told me he loved me for the second time. I remember how tightly pressed he had his lips together in awkwardness, and I couldn't get myself to do anything but just mutter a "good-night" back at him. I sighed, mentally slapping myself.

I felt my heart pounding so hard in my chest I was worried it might explode. Everything went tight, and I just felt all jittery. The feeling was somewhat similar to having to throw up - you just feel like your stomach is in a knot and get all nervous. Then I started to think about the main thing that was on my mind.

Do I love Louis?

I don't want to love him, because I know how bad love hurts sometimes. I mean, after what happened with Drake, I don't want anything like that to happen again. I'm not saying that Louis is one to break a heart, because if anything, he's the one who gets broken. Now that I think about it, I'm not even sure if I was actually in love with Drake.

I wasn't.

I just liked him at the time. He was popular afterall, and yeah, he's good looking. But the mistake I made was not bothering to get to know him before agreeing to go out with him. At least I knew Louis, and he was my best friend. I knew his secrets, and he pretty much knew mine. I groaned into my pillow frustrated with the world.