mental | lwt

Chapter 36: Not as Bad

Harry

I was aware that there was going to be a lot of explaining to do – involving why Louis wasn’t going to be in school until Wednesday, and I’m pretty sure Emma, Niall, Nina, Liam, Zayn, Clover, and Drake are going to start to wonder where the hell he is. I sighed, chewing my bottom lip nervously as I finally got my locker open. I pulled the locker door open, reaching in to take out the books I was going to need for first period today.

Once I had everything gathered and secure in my arms, I closed my locker shut and waited for Zayn and Nina. Since we all shared Algebra as the same first period class, we always liked to walk together. Nina and Zayn would come by my locker, and we would just walk to Algebra from there. I mean, my locker wasn’t far from the room.

“Hey.” Zayn swung by, Nina at his side.

“Ready to walk?” Nina wanted to know, and I nodded.

“Yeah.”

“Harry,” Zayn started, “you do realize we have an Algebra test today, right?”

“Fuck.” I cursed under my breath, shaking my head. “Whatever. Let’s just get to class before we’re marked late, and we can worry about failing Algebra after the test has been taken.”

Nina and Zayn laughed, and I smiled at them as we made our way into Algebra. I held the door open for them, and I was lucky enough that I got to have a seat right next to Zayn. Nina wasn’t far from us, but it was a heck of a lot easier for me and Zayn to just screw around during class. You know, just irritating each other like best friends do.

“Zayn, I need to tell you something.” I started, my thoughts flickering back to Louis. From when his mum had said he had to go to rehab for three days, to the point where Louis said it was my entire fault and that he hated me. I felt the heartache once again, trying to remind myself that he was just upset and he didn’t mean what he had said. Though, I’m not convincing myself very well.

“Ok, sure. What about?”

I slumped, my voice so soft I was practically mumbling. “Louis.”

“Alright, what is it?”

“He’s not going to be here for the next three days,” I explained, fiddling with my fingers over my lap. “He’s in rehab.”

Zayn looked shocked, but quickly went along with it. “Why? What happened?”

I sighed. “Well, Louis had cut once before, but he told me not to tell anyone. And, he didn’t just tell me, I saw it for myself. He had a scar on his left wrist, and he promised me that he would never do it again. Then, yesterday, he had a terrible nightmare. It was about everyone turning against him or something like that, and when he woke up, he thought no one cared.”

“That’s crazy.” Zayn interrupted, and I sighed.

“I know,” I answered. “Anyways, when he was sure that he was alone and nobody could see him, he cut himself again right below his old scar. He tried to cover it up so we wouldn’t see it and worry, but then I heard a thud coming from downstairs when I was over watching a movie with Lottie. I headed upstairs, and Louis had fallen out of bed. Then I saw it – the fresh cuts. Lottie came in too, and as much as we hated making Louis upset, we had to tell his mum. So we did, she sent him to rehab, and now I think he hates me.”

“Why would you think he hates you?”

“Because he told me,” I admitted. “I’m just worried he meant it.”

“Harry, Louis is one of our best friends. We couldn’t possibly mean what he had said,” Zayn insisted, laying a reassuring hand on my shoulder before continuing. “When people are upset, they say things they don’t necessarily mean. It just happens, and once you’ve said it, you can’t take it back. You guys are really close and I know he would never say anything like that and mean it. It’s going to be alright, Harry. Trust me.”