You're Not a Horse, Harry!

Number 35

Harry did not consider himself a coward, yet he had to admit that for the days after his meeting with McGonagall he did act like a coward, at least a little bit.

He did not tell Ron and Hermione about the decision he'd made.

Harry tried to, several times, but every time he did the words got stuck in his throat somewhere and he eventually gave up trying. It was one thing to tell his friends that one day in the distant future he'd be moving to New York permanently. But it was another thing altogether to tell them Harry was leaving them for good by the end of the school year.

The whole blasted issue weighed heavily on Harry's mind and when even writing about it in his journal didn't help he texted Bucky about it. Bucky was usually calm and level-headed and capable of understanding what sort of relationship Harry had with Ron and Hermione, because Bucky had a similar relationship with Steve. They were more than friends, something closer to brothers, who'd been by each other's side through thick and thin. Rather like Harry and his friends in many ways, except where Bucky and Steve had fought side by side in World War Two, Harry and his friends had found themselves defying Voldemort's latest schemes more than once.

Spending time together in mortal peril created bonds that were much closer than any sort of casual friendship, Harry was sure.

As expected, Bucky cut right to the chase when Harry texted him what was going on.

Bucky: what are you really afraid of?

Harry: Dunno. Worried I'll lose them I guess

Bucky: if theyre your friends you wont lose them

Harry: I suppose. Still worried though. What if they hate me?

Bucky: then theyre morons. youre very likable

Harry: haha, thnx. Going to bed now.

Bucky: just tell them!!!!

Harry: soon. Promise. Night!

Bucky: sleep tight

Unfortunately, Bucky's impromptu pep talk wasn't quite enough to give Harry the courage to share the news just yet. They had a Hogsmeade weekend coming up and Harry figured he didn't want to spoil that for himself and his friends by dropping the bomb right before their day off in the village. He told Bucky as much the next day when the man asked if Harry had bit the bullet yet. When Harry confessed his plan to wait until after the weekend, Bucky had been surprisingly brief and dismissive in his response. Harry wondered if Bucky was having a bad day, which still happened to him from time to time, even though on the whole Bucky was doing far better than he had in a long time.

As Harry walked down to Hogsmeade with Ron and Hermione he felt a certain sense of melancholia. This wasn't the final Hogsmeade weekend of the year, as it was only the end of February, but since Harry had made his decision he noticed that it often felt as though he was already saying goodbye to the things around him. Walking down the cobblestone path through the gates of Hogwarts certainly gave Harry a feeling as though he should be taking everything in with all his senses, lest he forget it in the years to come.

Harry was so focused on greedily drinking in every detail of his trek to Hogsmeade that he almost missed the broad, tall figure standing in the middle of the street right at the beginning of Hogsmeade.

"Who is that?" Ron asked, eyes widening as he took in the imposing figure in a leather jacket.

"Huh." Harry blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't seeing things. "That's Bucky."