The Billionaire Darkness

Chapter Sixty Two

Walking up the steps of my house once again I snuck back in and there in the living room was my mom passed out rolled up on the couch Foreman Brothers playing on the TV.

Heading upstairs I changed into comfy pants and a shirt before messing up my hair and going back downstairs to wake my mom.

I knew that sleeping on a couch isn't good for anyone especially when one has a bed of their own.

Crouching down next to her I gently shook her and her eyes sprung open before writhing slighly as she attempted to stretch.

"Mom you should go to bed" I say and she nods still mostly asleep before sitting up and walking over to the stairs to go up to her room.

"Good night Olivia" she smiles and once again I feel the motherly warmth that life gives the best moms.

"Good night mom" I reply before starting to fold the blankets and with each fold I began to further wonder about that night.

Why I'd thought of two things I'd never get to experience, or have happen again. To actually stand next to Thornbrook Academy, and the joking of my friends I'd been very disconnected to them and not seen them often enough. I was becoming distant and slowly losing the people that were my support system.

Letting out a sigh I moved over to the kitchen and filled a glass with water before downing it and going back to the door locking it before heading up to my own room.

Placing my hand on the door I push it shut with a click and am overwhelmed by silence before undressing and walking into my bathroom.

For some reason once the door was locked and the water was running I felt safe to feel whatever I needed.

Slipping past the curtain I stood in the hot water and allowed the steam to fill the bottom of the shower and be washed away.

My minds racing thoughts were different the major one was that I'd pulled a gun on another person, that that was my defense mechanism in that moment.

I'd never thought of ever holding a gun let alone aiming it at someone, but the fact I meant what I'd said that if he tried to come near me I would have shot him was something that scared me.

I scared myself.

I also knew that the only reason he couldn't press charges was I had written proof, and then my friends who could testify.

However that wasn't Demetri he would simply wait for a later day to do something to me, and I just had to be prepared for it.

What scared me the most however is that I began letting my mind wander I wanted a way out, I wanted someone who would protect me not terrify me, I wanted someone who could be make me feel safe and wanted for who Iwas not who they wished I'd be. I wanted to know what being loved without pain felt like.

I want someone to end this hell.

I hadn't even noticed the tears had started again, and I began to genuinely try and picture who said person could be. What were they like to be around. Did they smile at simple things like me? Did they hide behind a mask like me only to wish for things to be different? Was their smile capable of filling someone with the urge to reciprocate it? Were they as broken inside as me?

Thoughts kept coming but instead of being self deprecating the idea of someone understanding me was comforting. Of having someone who wouldn't abuse me, I knew what I was experiencing was abuse but at the same time the apologetic piece that followed each incident was my favourite.

I just didn't like how broken I felt as an aftermath of every incident. Love shouldn't hurt but the love Demetri showed me did, and I didn't know what to do to escape from it.

I was trapped, and isolated with my shame and the cycle I wanted to leave.

When the water cooled and fell to the point I was cold from sitting on the stone floor I shut it off and got out of the shower to dry off before staring in the mirror.

There was a girl there I could recognize but I wasn't the same person I'd been four months prior and how I'd change in the next six I didn't want to know, I didn't want to know how much worse it would get but I know it would.

I didn't feel bubbly and happy anymore. I dressed in comfy pants and hoodies instead of long sleeved sweaters and jeans and leggings, I was unfamiliar with how I dressed, I barely did my makeup now. I was luck most days to do my eyeliner, though getting rid of the bags under my eyes from lack of sleep was common now, that and covering the cuts and bruises.

I never realized how harshly I had changed since starting Sophomore year and yet here I was having changed so much in such a short amount of time.

Leaving the bathroom I found what I wished to sleep in and walked over to my bed before pulling out the book I had and began writing out tonight's full experience.

By the time I was done I slipped it under my bed again and let it sit there while I sat on my bed unable to feel fatigue take me I walked over to my laptop and opened it before looking up places that would teach me self defence.

I wanted to at least learn basic ways of doing this, and not far from me there was a place where I could learn.

I'd have to apply for it at some point because they were closed right now but until then I'd at least have the comfort of knowing I had that option.

Maybe things would change but I wouldn't hold my breath and if things did get worse I wanted the knowledge I could at least attempt to protect myself.

I then pulled up my Netflix to find a show to watch. My biggest problem was that I couldn't actually find anything that seemed interesting.

At some point I gave up and just stared out my window to pass time whilst focusing on the suburban area of Brooklyn, and trying to get my mind to stop racing.


That's todays update everyone sorry its short but that's how they are sometimes, comment, vote, share. Anyways

Peace✌