Series of X-Reader One-shots

Birthday Wish || Bucky Barnes

Requested From: sourpatchspinster (Tumblr) 

You should be happy. The weather's perfect and everyone you care about is near, many of whom you haven't seen in what feels like ages. There's also not a single threat in sight; no rouge super soldiers threating peace nor murderous aliens threating existence itself. It's just your friends singing 'Happy Birthday' terribly yet purposefully off key while being all smiles and laughter; a look so foreign for the Avengers these days. So, you should be happy...but you're not.

Three zero. Your hatred for the number only grows the longer you stare at those red and white candles. It's insane to think that as a child, you actually looked forward to turning thirty. What the heck was wrong with you then? No sane person wants to be thirty! When you turn sixteen, you can get a driver's license, turn eighteen to be considered a legal adult, and at twenty-one you can finally drink alcohol. What happens at thirty? Nothing except more body pains in places you'd never expect and the terrifying reminder that the clock is ticking down.

Staring at those two cursed candles, you wonder if they'll reverse time if you wish hard enough. Perhaps you could even pull Stephan aside later and strike some kind of bargain, begging him to work some of his wizard magic to make you younger somehow...No, you doubt he'll do that. He was already complaining earlier about the entire fiasco that occurred after he tried helping Spiderman. With Stephan not being an option, you're really just going to have to wish with all your might.

Alas, nothing happens when you suck in a breath and blow out the tiny flames; nothing except the cheers of the crowd as they're the only ones celebrating your new age. Not wanting to hurt their feelings nor burden them with your inner worries on such an joyous occasion, you put on your best smile. You're happy, that's all they need to know at least.

Being the birthday girl, you get your first pick of a cake slice, deciding to feed that inner child within by getting the slice with the most intact cookie on top. From there you slip past the group, finding a quiet spot on the porch of the Wilson home where you can eat in peace and alone...as you worry you'll be spending the rest of your life.

In the past (meaning up until earlier last month), you've tried not to worry too much over the status of your love life. You went on dates and tried your best to land a guy without any red flags, but on its own that can be a difficult, time consuming task which only gets worse when added to your busy life as an Avenger. It doesn't help that you pretty much took a five year hiatus during the Blip, only managing to go on one or two dates during that time before realizing you're too depressed to try.

Now that the Blip is over and everyone is back, you've been trying to slowly get back onto the dating scene with little luck. Before you could usually find a guy or two who peaked your interest enough to warrant other dates or even the eventual title of boyfriend, but now you can't even recall the last time you've called a guy back after the first date. Did the Blip change you that much? Has your age made you more picky? Or perhaps...

To be honest, if you allowed yourself to dwell on it long enough, you'd realize there's a reason for why you had such a hard time dating during the Blip and why no guy has seemed to spark a light inside your heart afterwards. It's because deep down inside, your heart already knows exactly what type of guy it longs for right down to the name no one else has been able to compete with.

It isn't that you're necessarily blind to this fact, only that you're too stubborn to admit it. You're thirty years old today which means you're also officially a beggar who can't be a chooser and far too old to hold onto a stupid school girl crush. It doesn't matter what your heart wants to make of all those gentle touches or the playful flirting that surrounds your purely platonic relationship; it won't wash away the line carved in stone and the sooner you cut that pesky rope of hope, the sooner you can return to your quest of actually finding someone before you end up being too old to grow old with them.