Dissociation

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mephone goes for a walk at 4 in the morning

ends up feeling dissociated from the world

===

it was 4 in the morning , the blue-purple-pink-ish sky gloomed the night sky with tiny white dots called stars brightening the dark night sky , all the contestants are asleep tired from doing the challenges , mephone looked at the sky and sighed he had been deep in thoughts lately i mean he litterly just started a new season without completing the last one when it was so close to ending just 4 more challenges and boom the season ends , but due the events with a random space ship that tried to litterly SHOOT him and mepad disappearing and never coming back he only know what he had to do

run away

just like always

he always run away from his problems never trying to solve them no matter what he just immediately run away even IF he can solve and fix the problem he just choose to run away

that's why he made a new season , a third season , to run away from all his problems to a random island he found and yet

he feels guilty

i mean he was at the final four and some stupid problem started and he immediately ran away , he could have just do a few more challenges and end the season and yet he chose to run away , he felt idiotic stupid for doing that but there was no turning back now he doubts he'll even continue this new season because just ONE problem can make him run away again and heck might even start ANOTHER new season without finishing the other one , he didn't want to deal with these crap anymore he's tired he wants to rest but how can he rest when he's always stressed all the time? the amount of what if's flooding his mind , not finishing a season at the final four and instantly making a new one , his younger brother is gone and disappeared and never came back , he just don't know what to do anymore , he feels so disconnected from everything he doesn't feel like himself anymore i mean yea he's stuck in his brother's body that he gave up for him so he can just continue hosting the show , at this point he just don't know anymore , he doesn't know himself anymore

almost as if like

he feels

dissociated

mephone sighed 'god im overthinking again aren't i..?' mephone thought he looked around and stared at the night sky 'i'll just go for a walk this is too much to handle' mephone then walked around the island with a slow pace

the meeple product walked and walked although the walk did at least calmed him down it did nothing to his mood he still felt disconnected from everything as if he's just not in his body

mephone then started to think of everything that had happened

he remembers when mepad was still here and of course that annoying toilet , he remembers doing the challenges back in season two he remembers when marshmallow got thrown to mars

and of course

he still remembers removing his memories from his system

mephone shivered at the thought of that , he still remembers waking up randomly after passing out and all THOSE memories flooding back when he swore he blocked it all out

mephone sighed he took a walk to calm himself down and yet here he is overthinking AGAIN mephone then stopped walking and sat next to a palm tree

he feels so disconnected from everything he feels like his soul isn't even in his body his head feels so fuzzy and foggy he doesn't feel like himself anymore everything is just so confusing everything feels so overwhelming he feels so de-attached from reality as if someone ripped him apart from reality in one rip mephone just wanted to rest and relax he doesn't want to feel like this anymore he's just so damn tired he wants to calm down

so mephone then looked at the night sky for one more time before closing his eyes and going to sleep mode

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