mephone4 one shots

Alcoholic Relapse

TRIGGER WARNING : RELAPSING , ALCOHOLIC USAGE , SELF HARM , SUICIDAL THOUGHTS

god i need to stop projecting onto mephone LOL

========

mephone sobbed the pain in his left arm worsening as he dug the blade deeper and deeper he already cutted himself a few times some cuts all bleeding on his left arm as he continued digging the blade deeper til his body begged him to just stop already the pain worsening as mephone face was stained with tears as much more tears fell from his eyes tears blurring his vision more bled dripped to the couch he was alone today his brother mephone4s being with mepad to visit some contestants and do other stuffs since mephone was sick the day prior and of course it had to be the day he's gonna have those bad thoughts again

mephone was just chilling per usual sitting on the couch watching his favorite reality shows and of course a stupid commercial popped on as mephone let out a annoyed groan since it was getting to the best part til he realized it was a meeple commercial and of course he had to see and hear HIS voice again and of course that triggered his mind reminding him of everything that cobs did to him he remembers being abused by that monster of a creator who called himself  'dad' to mephone4 & mephone4s, he remembers one of the memories when cobs gripped his wrist so hard to the fact it ended up being bruised for several days and it was all because mephone collapsed from exhaustion from forcing himself to train 24/7 , he remembers when one time his brother 4s defended him from cobs next thing he knows 4s got punished for that of course and mephone still felt guilty even though that was years ago when they were little kids , he remembers the times during season 3 if it was all real or was it fake? is it another sick stupid imagination he stuck himself in? some sort of dream he convinced himself was real? is he even real at this point? he didn't know anymore after all this time he finally got his twin-brother back thanks to test tube and he eventually got mepad back as well thanks to microphone somehow she never told him how or how did she knew how to find mepad

and yet even if he became happy it always got much worse every single time he tried his best to avoid being happy always repressing everything like yea life is like a apple tree theres fresh apples and rotten apples but all he got was rotten apples as mephone sobbed as he put down the blade besides him on the couch as his arm continued bleeding at this point if he continued any minute now he'll pass out from how long he have been cutting for the past hour and the amount of blood he lost as he picked up the bottle of alcohol he didn't knew what brand it was all he know he immediately generated it earlier as he popped the lid open and immediately drank it for a moment til he gulped it all down he felt his throat burn it felt funny it'll make the bad thoughts go away if he continued more right? he continued generating a few more like maybe two or four? bottles of alcohol as he chuckled god no matter what he do he'll always get triggered and relapse won't he? relapsing over the silliest stupid things such as just getting reminded of cobs his fath— creator or when he's in a state of derealization again or whatever life throws at him why can't he be happy like everyone else? why can't he be happy like all his contestants are? seriously he's the host of the show! and yet he feel so left out all his contestants having found family shenanigans whatever its called or being happy with each other and yet why can't he have that also? oh yea all he got was rotten apples on his apple tree unlike everyone else who always got fresh apples yea some got rotten apples but they always get fresh apples after that and yet why don't his also? its always rotten apples , just how his life is , his life is always going downhill no matter what he do maybe is it because he refuse to go for help? or refuse to get a emotional support system like everyone else? maybe? yea no , fat chance , he rather remove all his memories again rather than talking to someone for help it would be pathetic

i mean seriously? HIM the host of inanimate insanity? the jerk guy everyone gets annoyed of? asking for help? yea no, he wanted to talk to someone but he just don't know who and it'll be a huge mistake if mephone did ask for help anyways, he had a crush on oj for some time now since the two became close friends but of course he can't have a crush on oj as if oj would love him back a pathetic excuse of a host like him anyways even if oj made him feel butterflies in his stomach or make him forget all the bad thoughts without having to go to extreme bad habits of relapsing like cutting himself and drinking alcohol at the same time , yea no he's not gonna risk the only actual friendship he had in his stupid show he made out of spite to cobs , yea mephone IS passionate about his show he loves it truly but god sometimes he wished it lasted longer but all good things come to a end every good thing that happens to mephone will always turn bad like a fresh apple turning to a rotten apple in no time as mephone sobbed he continued drinking down a whole bottle of alcohol his throat burning his mind starting to get dizzy due to whats happening as he lost more blood his left arm still bleeding

mephone sobbed to himself as he finished drinking all the bottles , empty bottles of alcohol on the table his left arm covered in slices of cuts from the blade that is now covered in dark red blood the couch now stained with blood he's gonna get in trouble for staining the couch isn't he? mephone chuckled he wished his twin-brother was at least here or coming home any time soon but that won' t be happening he's gonna pass out any minute now isn't he? god he's pathetic can't even stay up longer due to how much blood he lost and the amount of alcohol he consumed in a few minutes and yet it felt like hours mephone chuckled to himself he just wants to end it all now , a storm raging outside of the house he could go outside now and just lay flat on the grass letting the rain kill him he won't be found by his brothers alive by the time they come home and the rain ended mephone chuckled to himself he's having these thoughts again also he can't have a break can't he? god why won't he just be a tough guy and deal with all of this like a man than being such a stupid cry baby who can't ask for help he just wants it to be over he wants to go outside and let the rain kill him he got nothing after all anyways right? the show's over and he'll always end up relapsing left and right , yea he got his brothers but he just can't anymore he don't wanna just continue living life if all it brings to him was pain in the ass like his life back in meeple mephone groaned his mind spinning from the alcohol he drank earlier he felt dizzy maybe a nap won't hurt right?