Sins and Reborns

Epilogue

GRACE

Growing up, I had no desires. I was raised to be a woman without ambition or desire. Mother said real women become the owners of the household and the men to be the workers. 'Chores are what make a true woman; a woman who cooks and cleans is a real wife,' she used to say.

So you can partly blame her for my future, how I turned out. I became exactly what she wanted: a housewife. A great wife who takes care of the chores and waits for her husband to come home.

Yet a wife without children.

Connor went to college to be a certified mechanic. He became what Mark had taught him to be. No, Mark had inspired him to be this way. Three years down the line, he bought his own mechanic shop, and the business grew from there. Often, he and Mark joined businesses and it was adorable to watch. Mark seemed to be really fond of Connor, and he approved him along. A father who was grateful to have a son like him.

There hadn't been any contact with Charles either. I doubted Connor was sad about that. If he had a father like Mark, then how could everything not be okay?

At age twenty-six, Connor and I joined in holy matrimony. He proposed on a Wednesday after he'd come home from work. First, he took me to Carrie's high school prom, and we danced all night. Then he pulled me in close and whispered, "This is what you wanted, isn't it? A real high school experience?"

I remember grinning against him like a fool. He'd made another of my dreams come true. Connor knew how much I'd hated being home-schooled. I'd missed out on all the great school experiences.

"There's so much more to life than school. It's nothing more than a blip of life. Years down the line, you barely remember it. There are many more things to remember. There are experiences that stay with you forever." To everyone's astonishment, he backed away and dropped to one knee. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a shiny ring. "We can experience whatever comes our way. I promise there will be plenty of special experiences down the road, but you just have to take it with me. Take that special road with me, Gracie. Let me show you what road I can take you down. Marry me."

In front of everyone, he'd proposed. He proposed while not giving a damn about anyone in the world. He always had a habit of separating us from the world. I was a joyful woman, then, and I accepted his hand in marriage. All the hopes and dreams were ahead of us.

We wed a year and a half later in Tim's backyard. Connor and I didn't need much, except for a small audience. Our group of friends and Connor's family were there. Anna and Tim hadn't gotten married; Anna wasn't a believer in marriage, so they chose to live without some words on paper. Andrew had brought his fiancé and I remember smiling at him throughout the ceremony. We'd made peace years ago. After the published article everything had changed. He understood my point of view. Jared came alone, but I saw some glimpses between him and Connor's younger sister who had grown into a beautiful woman. I wondered what might come out of that.

In sickness and in health, for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse, we promised to love each other through it all. We also promised to better ourselves and stick through towards forever. We'd never take each other for granted or worsen the other for the sake of ourselves. And we'd always tell the truth.

Two years later, Anna had become a successful journalist. And then she gave birth to a son. Tim became a stay-at-home dad. And I could see: every time we visited the couple and their newborn, Connor had that look of longing in his eyes.

You see, there was a part of the truth I'd left out: I hadn't told him about the surgeries. I couldn't bring myself to do it. That truth was ugly and scarred and he deserved to be happy. If I told him this, I'd have ruined what we had, and it was the one thing that kept me going. Connor wanted kids, yes, but he'd never force me to go down that road. He'd never pry for information or give me that slight push. He'd wait for thirty years if he had to, even if it meant him being unhappy.