Butterfly Reign

14. And your feelings, they show on your face

Tommy fails to wash off the ink from his knuckles. A simple attempt to rub at the skin sends a lightning of pain through his hand. It doesn't look half as bad from the outside; his hand is yet to be covered in a splash of ugly purple bruises, but it hurts so much that Tommy bites down on his lip to prevent himself from whimpering like a wounded animal.

Techno would've killed him for not calling for the Imperial physician- but what new information would they have told Tommy? He can tell that some of his bones are broken; and if not broken, then surely fractured. Whatever the case, Techno would insist on him skipping the Special Banquet. Tommy can't afford that. The Banquet is the most important event of the season and his last chance to speak to foreign royals before they return to their countries tomorrow and the day after. Sickness, minor injury, fatigue - such excuses tend to get lost when word spreads from mouth to mouth - in the end the bare truth would be that the crown prince skipped an event that he himself was hosting.

That the two princes were hosting. Prince Theseus and Prince Wilbur: Wilbur, who Tommy threw an inkpot at; Wilbur who looked at him with an expression in equal measures shocked and sorrowful. If Tommy were any more naïve, he might've thought that Wilbur regretted his words. As it is, however, he isn't sure if his brother is capable of such emotion anymore.

It must've been too much, even for Wilbur - ink and glass don't feel pleasant on one's skin. Tommy would've laughed darkly if he didn't feel so empty inside. The little energy he had to begin with was burned in the feverish heat as he clawed at his own throat, trying to loosen the collar and let the air rush through. Tommy wasted too much time on gathering himself, and he was sure that however great Wilbur's bewilderment was, he's done perplexing over it and now prepares his next step.

Tommy has lost himself. Wilbur poked a wolf with a stick and was bitten, but in return, Tommy exposed his vulnerable throat. He knew he shouldn't have shown weakness in front of Wilbur, but he felt so angry in the moment, and there wasn't any satisfaction in seeing Wilbur scared of him, only the gut-twisting sensation that one feels after making a mistake. Tommy doesn't know what Wilbur will do now. And thinking about it terrifies him.

The sun rolled over the skies over an hour ago. In its dying light Tommy was still shaking with silent cries, but now he just sits on his knees, head sullen, over a basin filled with water. He ordered it to wash the ink off but now his reflection taunts him, moonlight sharpening the pathetic parody of the steadfast crown prince he was supposed to be. Eyes red and swollen, bottom lip bitten down to blood, wrists covered in crests from his nails breaking skin - Tommy hates that he had gotten used to seeing this side of himself. He hates this new normal of him crying his eyes out every other evening. He hates Wilbur for driving him down to this state.

Wilbur insulted and humiliated him in public.

Wilbur twisted his words and the image of him in their father's eyes.

Wilbur sought out his greatest weakness and turned Ranboo into a knife to repeatedly stab Tommy with.

For the past few weeks, Tommy has shed so many tears that he could fill this basin three times over. Enough is enough. Tommy is stronger than this. That was the first and last time he'll ever give Wilbur the satisfaction of seeing him hurt.

Gather himself up, don't let the cracks show. Tommy grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut as he slowly lowers his hand into water. It's freezing cold already - the first contact makes him shudder, shoulders spiking up to his ears, but he forces it still until the needle-prickling sensation turns to numbness. It crawls up his arm and leaps to the rest of his body, sucking the tension out of his muscles and steadying his breathing. Fingers brush over the seething anger that coats Tommy's soul, and under its icy crust is born pure, cold hatred.