Vanity, valor, veracity

Chapter 19

Hange looked at him sympathetically. While she had been harsh with Erwin, she had never wanted him to be hurt. And despite his stoic demeanor, she knew this had to be tough for him.

"How will she live?" she asked him. They were in his office at HQ. Eren and Historia were safe, the gigantic titan that had been Rod Reiss had been dispatched, a new government was established, a coronation being planned.

Hange had asked Erwin during the mayhem how Morgana was faring now that he had found and freed her. The section commander had received a cursory answer that left her wondering at the real situation. She had finally confronted Erwin today after she had gone to visit Morgana and found their home empty.

"She—" this rankled with Erwin, especially as she had left behind the songbird pendant for him, but he told Hange anyway. "She kept a stash of jewels that Shelton had given her. I don't know why. But she told me she'd sell them to support herself at first and then return to performing. I, of course, will provide her with financial support, as well—if she accepts it."

"This is fucked up, Erwin," Hange said. "But I guess it's for the best...?"

"I guess," Erwin vaguely agreed.

"Is it what you want? I mean, did you want her to leave? Did you try to convince her to stay?"

"I did," said Erwin. "But Morgana recognized that my life is just not cut out for a family. She knew I couldn't change. Not really. She's also—" he cut himself off. He wasn't sure he wanted to share all of Morgana's reasons. He wasn't sure how he felt about them himself just yet.

"She also what?"

"She doesn't feel safe, doesn't feel the baby is safe—with me." It was a particularly bitter pill to swallow.

"Hmm," Hange made a concurring sound. "I guess being thrown in prison is scary when you're pregnant," she offered with a bit of an edge.

Erwin sighed and looked past Hange. "It's true. She's—been through a lot since she's met me. She told me she doesn't really hold me responsible, but she's fearful about the baby. That somehow—she'd lose this one—too."

"Oh," said Hange somberly. "She's lost two kids—and very nearly this one if you hadn't found her. Maybe it's not rational, but given everything else..."

"Yes," Erwin said dully. "Given everything else." The two were quiet for a few moments.

"So—that's it?" asked Hange finally, never one to avoid putting a fine point on matters. "No wife, no baby? You're going to just pretend they don't exist?"

"I will endeavor to," said Erwin. "Because that's what Morgana wants."

"You suck, Erwin, you know that? Jesus, woe to anyone who falls for you..." she sighed. "But, I guess I admire your ability to respect her wishes—and to finally come to terms with what your true nature is—has always been."

***

It was a day for celebration, people were dancing in the streets, rejoicing that a new queen and a new government had been established.

But as Erwin stood next to the new young queen as she was crowned, he couldn't rejoice. He had accomplished so many of his plans, attained so many of his goals, was on his way to achieving so many more. Reclaiming Wall Maria, accessing the Jaeger cellar, finding out exactly what it was that was out there, who the real enemies were, proving his father's theories. Nothing was holding him back now. Not a discontented populace, not a corrupt government. And not a family.

"Why isn't your wife here?" asked Nile after they had descended the platform where they'd stood as witness to the coronation. "Marie wants to meet her."