What Are The Chances?

Chapter 10: Ellis

After Phoenix ended the call, I laid there and thought real hard about what he said. Maybe I don't love myself and that's why I am the way I am. Ever since my dad moved on, we grew apart because we bonded over her loss. It brought us closer, but once my stepmom came into the picture, everything changed. I closed up and hid my feelings when my dad stopped showing his and it's been that way for a while.

Sadness turned into anger, and it began to show once I went to middle school. I didn't get enough attention at home because of my siblings, so I chased after it at school and got into fights.

I never really thought about my sexuality until I sawPhoenix. That day in Elementary when he walked in with his wavy blonde hair and big glasses. He was an exchange student from Italy. Our teacher introduced us to him, and I remember people bullying him for his braces and Harry Potter glasses. I thought they were pretty cool.

We became friends since he sat at our table, but things changed. One morning I woke up and
decided that I hated him. I hated him because I liked him. I began to hate the way he talked and the way he pushed up his glasses with his finger every 10 seconds. I began to hate the way he would constantly bounce his leg whenever he was thinking. I began to hate his guts because I was mad at myself for thinking he was attractive. I didn't want people to know.
So I bullied him.
༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

I closed my eyes for a few minutes and then drifted off to sleep. He's coming back home tomorrow and I can't wait to see him. I really want to make this work, and I'm also really scared about what's going to happen to us when we go back to school. But like he said, let's not worry about that.

The next morning was freezing. I woke up with a runny nose and the sound of my brother crying echoed throughout the house. Wilhelm never cries in the mornings but it's probably because his toy is in the washers. I never understood toddlers. He has thousands of other toys because he's spoiled, but has to just have his stuffed fox.

"Alright, I'm up," I whispered to myself after twisting and turning in bed. As soon as I opened the door, my stepmom was walking down the hall. "Can you try to get him to stop crying," she said as she ran down the stairs while putting on her earrings.

"What do you want me to do?"
"Make him his favorite breakfast. He wants pancakes. I've got to pick up Blair, drop her off and go to work." I push myself off the railing and go to his room. He's crying and throwing a fit for no reason and it makes me furious.

I picked him up and took him downstairs in his eating chair and poured him a bowl of cereal. There's no way I'm making him pancakes. All I'm trying to do is go back upstairs, crawl under my covers and chat with Phoenix. He's supposed to be home in a couple of hours and we're going to meet up at the park again.

I'm really nervous about the whole situation with school and what it'll be like. No one knows that I'm bisexual. I didn't even know until I saw Phoenix. He turned my life around and made me feel better about myself. He makes me want to be a better person.

I really want to stop fighting for good. Cyrus has been blowing up my phone asking where I'm at and if we can hang out. Although been my best friend since middle school, we should part ways because he's not the type of person I want to be around anymore.

Making things up with my dad and stepmom might be a little challenging because they've been unfair to me for years, but I'm willing to make a change for all of us.

༶•┈┈୨♡୧┈┈•༶

After a few hours of staying in the house and waiting for him to text me, he finally did.

'We're back home now. I have to run a few errands for my mom, wanna come with?'

A big smile grows on my face as I immediately text back.
'Yeah, sure. Want me to pick you up?'