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I'm lost and I don't know what to do. When Tyler told me yesterday that he knew I had feelings for him, I told him he was wrong but I know he didn't believe me.
So when he texted me this morning to say he wanted to see me, I didn't respond.
It's Saturday, 11am, when there's a knock on my bedroom door.
I open the door and my grandmother walks in
- Hanna, there's someone in the living room for you.
- Who is it?
- Well, go see for yourself...

I go downstairs, and to my surprise, I find Tyler.
- Hi. (Chuckles)
- (Tyler) Hi. What are you doing here?
- You're not answering my texts, so I found another way to talk to you.
- I'm listening ....
- Not here, can we go to your room?
- If you want, follow me...

He follows me, we arrive in my room and he closes the door behind him.
He approaches me, runs his hand through my hair and kisses me gently. I'm shaking and not breathing. What's going on, what's he doing? And Lali? All this is jostling in my head. 
I push him away immediately.
- What are you doing, why are you kissing me?
- I thought you had feelings for me.
- I never said that I had feelings and besides you are in couple with Lali.
- Lali is not important for me, I don't like her.
- Then why are you still with her?
- What do you care? You told me you don't have feelings for me!
- I don't, but you can't stay with someone you don't love.
- You don't know Lali, I can't leave her.
He turns around and is about to leave my room when I ask him.
- Why? I don't understand!
- I already tried to leave her but she told me that if I did, she would kill herself.

He looks down and I see a tear running down his cheek. I walk over to him and take him in my arms. I don't like to see him like this. When he raises his head, he doesn't cry anymore. He says goodbye and leaves without even looking at me.

I stay in my room for a while, then I go to see my grandmother.  Because I have to ask her a question.
- Grandma, where are Tyler's parents? You never talk about them, even though you know his grandmother.
- He doesn't have parents anymore, his mother died in a car accident when he was 10 and his father committed suicide a few months later. Now he lives with his grandmother.

I understand better why Tyler cried when he talked about suicide, he thinks about his father.
He is made the bad boy but in reality he is very touching and sensitive.
I think when his parents died he suffered a lot and he doesn't want to see anyone else go especially because of him.

I want to talk to Lali, I want to know why she said that to Tyler. I want to understand how one person can change another's life just by leaving them.
I've never been in love, so I can't know what it feels like, but I'll ask Lali.
Tomorrow I will go to her, it's decided.

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