ᴾʰᵒᵇᵒᵖʰᵒᵇⁱᵃ [ᴶᵃˢᵒⁿ ᴳʳᵃᶜᵉ]

x.

"It was discussed," Percy nodded reassuringly, rolling his eyes at Bacchus' following satisfied smirk, "I think you were just too lazy to do it."

"Though if you ever find the energy," Aza peeked over her best friend's shoulder again, giving the god a toothy smile; she almost missed talking to Mr. D, in a way - especially when Percy was involved, "I think he'd make a beautiful bottlenose."

Piper slipped off Tempest's back and shot the two dark-haired demigods a slightly irritated gaze as she interrupted, "Lord Bacchus. We're sorry to trouble you, my lord, but we actually came here to get your advice. Please, we need your wisdom."

Aza was sure the daughter of Aphrodite was oozing charmspeak, but no amount of it could ever convince her that Mr. D could give them any shred of wisdom (the only sage advice he had ever given her was pinochle tips, and he had deeply come to regret it), but the violent purple glow faded from the gods eyes and he nodded, "You're well-spoken, girl. Advice, eh? Very well. I would avoid karaoke. Really, theme parties in general are out. In these austere times, people are looking for a simple, low-key affair, with locally produced organic snacks and-"

Aza pounded her fist into Percy's back, and the two began to shake with stifled laughter when Piper blinked quickly and shook her head, furrowing her brows and snapping slightly, "Not about parties," she quickly soothed her tone, "Although that's incredibly useful advice, Lord Bacchus. We were hoping you'd help us on our quest."

Once Piper told the god about their quest and her vision in her knife, where Bacchus offered her a silver goblet, the god grabbed a Diet Pepsi can from thin air and popped the top, "Silver goblet?"

"You drink Diet Coke," Percy frowned. Aza peeked over his shoulder again and added, "The superior cola, we agreed."

"I said stop thinking about me in Greek," Backups snapped - once he took a drink from his chilled can he relaxed, rolling out his shoulders and in a much more amicable tone said, "As to this vision of the goblet, young lady, I have nothing for you to drink unless you want a Pepsi. Jupiter has put me under strict orders to avoid giving wine to minors. Bothersome, but there you have it. As for the giants, I know them well. I fought them in the first Giant War, you know."

"You can fight?" Percy asked incredulously. Aza's laughter died in her throat when Bacchus snarled - his Diet Pepsi transformed into a thyrsus, a five-foot staff topped with an abnormally sharp pinecone. She had never seen Mr. D brandish a weapon - or if she had, she had certainly forgotten.

"Oh, what a mighty weapon," Piper cooed, though Aza just got the feeling she was trying to prevent the god from gutting Percy with a pinecone, "A thyrsus!"

"Indeed," Bacchus lovingly rubbed his weapon, "I'm glad someone in your group is smart. The pinecone is a fearsome tool of destruction! I was a demigod myself in the first Giant War, you know. The son of Jupiter."

Aza snickered when Jason flinched, looking utterly displeased to be reminded that the god was his older brother. She could only hope he wouldn't turn out to be like Bacchus - and especially not Mr. D - in his old age.

"Of course," Bacchus swung the thyrsus expertly in the air, though Aza thought his stance was slightly off, "that was long before I invented wine and became immortal. I fought side by side with the gods and some other demigod... Harry Cleese, I think."

"Heracles?" Piper sweetly asked, but the god simply rolled his eyes, "Whatever. Anyway, I killed the giant Ephialtes and his brother Otis. Horrible boors, those two. Pinecone in the face for both of them."

Aza cheered slightly - she couldn't promise to give them a pinecone in the face, but if the god asked her to run her sword through them she would certainly agree. She itched for a fight; it had been far too long since Aza had been allowed to swing Mind-cleaver. They hadn't even gotten to play Capture the Flag before they departed to New Rome.