Trustfall || Sanders Sides Equestrian AU

Chapter 34 - Snap Out

The first signs of the winter always invited an uncomfortable weight that sat at the back of Virgil's head. The gloomy sky painted every single thought grey. These days it seemed like he was the only person walking the stale streets, and his lonely footsteps made him hyper-aware of the ever-ticking time that slipped between his fingers and held his heartbeat locked at a hundred per minute.

Days like these, when the winter would linger at the brink of the horizon, peering out to tease only to retreat again, Virgil found his thoughts traveling to his uncle. He hadn't thought of him in a while. The street was as tranquil as the cemetery on the day they said their goodbyes, and maybe his uncle felt sorry for him, because his phantom steps soon joined to keep his own company. And so Virgil walked, and listened, and his thoughts walked along and invited the ghost to blink at him from every window and drop of dew as he walked past. He found peace in that.

Emma had been home for three days. The only evidence that she spent a single week in the hospital was the calendar on the wall, but in Virgil's head in felt like a month. It was taking her longer to speak again this time. She would always go quiet after too much time spent there. Maybe as long as she got to go to school and be a kid, she managed to forget – but each time Emma had been forced to melt her time away between those sad white walls, she'd take some time afterwards to grieve herself. Virgil never understood it until now.

It was a weird feeling, to sigh in relief at the sound of his phone ringing. Before the ghost of his uncle could have the chance to dare mix with the thought of his sister, Virgil hunted down the call and picked up.

"Hey."

You could always tell by Roman's voice when he would smile as he talked. "Hey, Virge. On your way?"

"Yeah. Almost there."

The sound of Roman's voice made a clump of guilt crunch in Virgil's chest. Just as he'd predicted – as soon as his mind cleared out, it made room for the heaviest weight of embarrassment he'd had in his entire life – and as someone with severe social anxiety, that said a lot. While he truly didn't think he would have managed to handle himself alone, and it wasn't easy to regret something that made everything better, at the same time he could help but be angry at himself. So angry. They say asking for help is rewarding, but all Virgil felt was the urge to build a time machine and stop himself from reaching out.

"How is Emma feeling?"

It was almost as if he had read his thoughts. Virgil cleared his throat. "Uh.. Not speaking much yet. We don't have to talk about this, just go get Trigger ready, okay? I'll be there in five."

"Okay." His friend's voice carried a shade of worry, but he chose not to dwell on that.

Virgil hadn't realised he'd been holding his breath until he arrived at Daybreak, and his exhausted, tight lungs let go. His home was the only place that wasn't affected by the melancholic atmosphere of the lingering winter. Over from where he arrived, it was impossible to miss the tower-tall gelding that stood at the cross ties by the corridor. Trigger's bay coat had already started to shift into its wintery blood red. It boldened his round, kind eyes and made his dark mane pop out like a black dahlia in an ocean of daisies. Virgil barely caught himself in time when Roman appeared on the other side of the horse and sent a pack of butterflies fluttering and tapping in his stomach. The tall boy brushed the horse's coat with wide, round motion, and the horse in response flicked his lips and craned his neck in pleasure. Roman glanced up from the brush. His eyes twinkled at Trigger's reaction, and he let out a heartfelt giggle that eased Virgil's face into warmth.

"Did I hit the right spot? You look ridiculous, Trigs."

He wore a cozy-looking red coat that was almost tempting to bury yourself in, and a matching red beanie which he'd pulled over his ears. It must have taken Virgil an embarrassing amount of time to realise he was staring. He shook himself and cleared his throat. Pushing back the urge to fix his hair and his clothing was a whole other story, but he walked into the stables before Roman could catch him staring from outside and make this a whole lot worse.