For King And Country (not mine)

Finale

The grass underneath Havers' feet was stiff and cold with frost, but he hardly noticed it.
He was too caught up staring at the stars above him to care about the things that would've made him shudder in life.
How strange it was to be reminiscing of the same things he had taken for granted.
"Mind if I join you?" Alison's voice was close by, and Havers looked just over his shoulder to see her smiling at him.
"Of course not." Alison stepped up beside him, and the two remained quiet for a few moments.
"How come you're all on your own?" She asked eventually. "Everyone's excited about being out here. I thought you'd want to join them, considering this was your idea." "I was just thinking," Havers replied.
"Of anything in particular?"
"Life. The future. Or rather ... the future I had planned for before I died."
"Oh."
Havers looked over at Alison and smiled. "It's not a bad thing, Alison."
"It isn't? Doesn't it upset you?"
"Greatly," Havers answered. "But I am luckier than the others. My future only ever felt so optimistic because of the people involved, not because of the objects I might acquire after the war.
I still have my future with me."
"What do you mean?" Alison asked. "Tell me, what was the future of the great Lieutenant Havers?"
Havers chuckled. "You must promise not to laugh. It must seem old fashioned, but it was quite a modern, romantic view at the time."
Alison grinned. "I promise."
Havers looked back up at the stars, still in awe after so many years at the beauty of them. So simple and yet so breathtaking.
"I wanted to retire from the forces and go somewhere on the coast. Maybe a cottage overlooking the sea. Close enough to a village or town for essentials. Far enough out that I could have my own privacy without nosey neighbours. I - I wanted privacy, but not loneliness. I wanted company." "To retire with someone you cared about a lot." Alison offered. Havers nodded. 
"I wanted to go somewhere that we would be safe," Havers said quietly, almost fearful of admitting it aloud.
A part of his brain still cried out to him that he should not be saying any of this. He still fought against the societal views from almost eighty years ago. They were horrid views that told him he was in danger for having spilt even a fraction of his heart's desires.
“All I ever wanted was a home. So we wouldn't be scared anymore." Havers said, forcing himself to say it, to confront what he really felt and thought.
You don’t have to be the same man you were, hiding behind locked doors. You are allowed to feel, William.
"Is this someone the Captain, by any chance?" Havers could hear the smile in Alison's voice, and he finally looked at her, feeling the heat in his cheeks.
"You're allowed to say it. I'm not judging. I think it's sweet."
"Yes," Havers said softly. "Yes, of course. My apologies, I forget that it's not something I have to hide anymore."
"It'll take time, but you'll get there," Alison reassured.
"We spent so many years afraid. It's hard to remember we don't have to be anymore. But yes, I - I planned to go with Teddy. I broached it with him early one morning. Sometime in late summer, back in, oh, it must’ve been 1940. Goodness, how long ago.” Havers chuckled.
“It must feel weird, thinking back so many years.”
“Very much so,” Havers answered. “I use to stay in Teddy’s room three or nights a week. We were always up late doing paperwork and we ran together in the mornings before everyone woke up. We were very lucky that our routine protected us from questions about why the other officers never saw me enter or exit my room.”
"You really consider yourselves lucky?" Alison asked in awe. Havers nodded, a small frown on his face. "I knew it was bad back then, but I never considered the lengths you'd have to go to."
"All the precautions, me sneaking out an hour or so before we were due to run, always alternating the nights we slept beside each other … it was to keep us safe. It never got less frightening. But I would do it all again. It was worth it for having him. ”
“I know it probably doesn't hold much weight now, but I hope you know you weren’t doing anything wrong. You shouldn't have had to live like that.” Alison replied.
"I don’t know what came over me that morning. I just felt I had to share the idea of going down to the south coast. But I remember the way Teddy smiled. He wanted it too, and I don't think I was ever as frightened again. Nothing else mattered because he wanted me."
"I can't imagine the Captain smiling like that at anyone." Alison chuckled.
"It's because he does it so rarely that it's special." Havers agreed. “I get awfully proud whenever he does it around me."
He took a breath and turned his head, surveying the grounds he knew so well. he loved this house and these grounds, but sometimes felt so nostalgic that it hurt.
"There were so many ideas, you know. We knew exactly what we wanted."
"What would your home by the sea look like?" Alison asked. "The Captain doesn't seem like the interior designer type. But then again, I didn't peg him for a wedding planner, either, but he proved us all wrong there, didn't he?"
"Goodness, he's ever so good at that sort of thing. I think it's his military brain kicking in.” Havers laughed. “It seems so ridiculous when I think of it now, all the things we wanted."
"Oh go on, tell me."
"Don't tell him I told you this, but Teddy is a wonderful cook. He sings, too. I caught him doing it once while we made breakfast together after our run."
Alison gaped at him, covering her mouth as she started to laugh. “You’re joking.”
Havers shook his head. "I was coming back from the lavatory. He didn’t know I was watching him from the doorway. When he realised, oh good Lord, I’ve never seen him go so red!" He snickered.
"It was ever so endearing. Promise you won't say anything."
"I swear," Alison said. "So what? Were you going to find somewhere with a nice kitchen? Open a bakery or something?"
Havers shook his head. "Not a bakery, no. We wanted our own space, somewhere with a big kitchen for all his culinary magic. It would’ve been his domain. I'm atrocious at cooking. We wanted a garden, too. A big one, with plenty of growing space."
"A gardener as well? Is there anything the Captain can't do?"
"Actually, he’s quite the plant killer," Havers said. "He couldn't keep a house plant alive if he tried. And goodness, he  did  try, bless his heart. No, gardening was my thing. A hobby that my mother instilled in my sister and me. And - oh, Alison, you're going to think this is ridiculous - but we wanted a piano. I didn't know how we would afford one, or accommodate it, but we dreamed of having it."
"A piano?!" Allison laughed. "Did either of you play?"
"Yes, my whole family are musicians. I was going to teach Teddy." Havers replied. "My sister was part of a band for local dances. She was a singer, I think. I feel horrible that I can’t remember, but things get foggy after so long. I'm certain hers is the voice I remember from my childhood. She had the most beautiful voice, Alison. You remind me a lot of her."
"I do?"
"I apologise if it's a little too forward," Havers said. "I think everyone here does, in some way. She’s as kind as Kitty with Julian’s sense of humour. But the way you've taken to this ghost business, listening to us, caring about us is remarkable. My Louisa was very superstitious, and she never wanted anyone to be lonely or upset. She was my very  best  friend in life. I miss her terribly.
I never got to say goodbye to her, or my nephews. But I feel better with you here." Alison's eyes went a little misty then, and Havers' stomach dropped immediately.
"Oh, goodness, I've said the wrong thing, haven't I?" Havers said. "I'm so sorry, Alison."
"No, don't apologise at all," Alison said. "That's so sweet of you, Havers."
There was a cough from behind them, and a knowing smile passed between Havers and Alison as they turned over their shoulders to face the Captain. Apprehension filled his eyes like he was uncertain of whether he should say anything more.
"My apologies for interrupting." He said. "Might I steal William away for a moment?"
Havers smiled, his heart swelling at the Captain's openness at using his first name in front of someone else. Havers still very rarely said the Captain's name in front of others, knowing how much his captain valued his privacy.
But they made no secret of their relationship now. There were no more longing gazes when they thought the other wasn't looking. Now, when they were caught staring, at least they could laugh at themselves and link fingers, the moment of forgetfulness gone.
"Of course," Alison said. "I'll give a shout when the midnight countdown starts."
The Captain took Alison's place, and he and Havers settled into a comfortable silence. They watched the sky above them, the stars still as captivating as they had been the last time they shared a New Year's Eve in this field.
There was a mutual understanding between them, Havers knew. The fear of not knowing how much time they had until they moved on crept into their hearts more than they cared to admit.
Being a ghost, it turned out, was not too dissimilar to being alive.
Waiting for The Day the clocks stopped when they stepped over and left everything behind. It was much easier to simply die and move on immediately, Havers found himself thinking sometimes.
A larger part of him was glad he had stayed behind for the Captain, waiting for him to return. Havers had known the Captain could never leave his second to rest without one final visit. Not after all that had passed between them.
They understood now that being together for any length of time was better than being scared to commit again. It was unspoken, a true testament to how Havers and the Captain had been during the war. Always so in tune with each other.
The knowledge came, as it often did, with the brush of the Captain's fingers against Havers' own.
Seeking permission, as if Havers could ever say no.
Havers gently twined them together without question.
"It was nice of you," The Captain said. "To organise this."
"You think so?" Havers asked. "I must admit ... I did it for you more than anyone else."
"You always were the sentimental one."
"Oh, I don't know about that. You're just more private about it. You wait for me to risk embarrassing myself with the sentiment." Havers laughed. "Besides, it is an anniversary, of sorts."
"Our anniversary." The Captain mused. "I like that."
Havers beamed at him and turned halfway to see the other ghosts gathering close to Alison and Mike to begin the countdown. They would be starting any moment.
"We should return to the others-" He said.
"Without the traditional kiss?" The Captain asked, facing Havers now. "Wasn't this why you brought us out here? To kiss me at midnight as we did then?"
Havers blushed. "I did  hope , but I wasn't sure if you were comfortable."
The Captain softened and he raised a hand, fingers gently cupping Havers' jaw like he was afraid
Havers was going to disappear. "Promise you won't leave me behind."
Havers frowned. "What?"
"If your time to get sucked off comes." The Captain clarified. A wild, kind of desperate look crossed his face. "If this is the moment that makes the universe says it's your time ...  please . Please don't leave me behind again. I can't - I can't do it again. I never told you how hard those years were without you. Will, please promise me-"
"I swear it," Havers said, placing the Captain's other hand on his chest, over his non-beating heart.
"If my time comes, I stay or I drag you with me. I'm never leaving you again."
Behind them, the countdown began, and Havers smiled, looking at the Captain and his bright eyes, illuminated to look a clear blue-y grey, shining with affection for Havers.
"So much for Alison calling us when the countdown started," Havers said.
"I imagine she wanted to let us have our moment." The Captain said.
"Bless her heart, I'll have to -"
The Captain kissed him then, having heard their friends reach a loud, exclaimed  "ONE ! ".  He effectively silenced Havers as the lieutenant dropped his thought, replacing it with his favourite pastime.
Havers wrapped his arms around the Captain's waist, pulling him closer sharply and unexpectedly.
The Captain gasped a little into Havers' mouth, his footing slipping a little in the dew filled grass beneath them. And suddenly, Havers had the whole of the Captain's body weight in his arms, much like how he had all those years ago. In  this  spot, in  their  Anderson shelter.
Behind them, their friends cheered, and a captain and his lieutenant stayed wrapped up in one another, content to stay that way forever if the universe would let them.
But as such, the residents of Button House soon turned their cheers into teasing, calling out to
Havers and the Captain no matter how much Alison tried to give them space.
The Captain and Havers pulled apart unhurriedly, much sooner than they would have liked, eyes heavy-lidded and mouths red from the cold and the kiss. The Captain gathered his feet under him, still enveloped tightly in the shelter of Havers' arms.
They smiled at each other, foreheads pressed together and breathing the same air.
"Let's join the others, shall we?" Havers whispered.
"If you insist." The Captain murmured back. "Though I must tell you I love you first." He said quietly into the space between them.
"I love you too." Havers grinned, pressing another chaste kiss to the Captain's lips before beginning to lead them back to their friends.
Their hands swung together between them as they walked, linked tightly, a promise to never let go again.