﹕₊˚ʚ🐞ɞ・[warnings] yandere character [technically; but not really in the case of these headcanons], not edited/proofread.
﹕₊˚ʚ🖤ɞ・[adi moment] this was a request from 🐎 anon on my tumblr!! i've said it there, but this was such a sweet concept and i enjoyed writing it!! [i also just call their child a doe-ball because i have no idea what to call them...] i hope that you all enjoy, though!! +:꒰◍•ᴗ•◍꒱:+
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╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Now, You had never expected to actually have children with Doe. You knew that him being inhuman wouldn't pair well with actually reproducing, and it was something that you had come to accept. Besides, if the both of you really wanted kids at some point, it would be more than possible to adopt. So, it was pretty shocking when Doe walked up to you one morning with a tiny hairball in his hands, his eyes sparkling as his skin seemed to melt. And it was even more shocking when he set the tiny thing in your hands and started yelling about being a father.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・This was certainly not the first time that Doe had made a tiny hairball during the time of your relationship, with Doe making them fairly often in order to help with menial tasks around the apartment - or just as a way to stay closer to You whenever you two had to be separated. However, it was the first time that he had ever been this excited over one, and it would take you some time to calm him down enough to explain why. Turns out, he had forgotten to reabsorb this particular Doe-ball, meaning that it had already started to develop its own conscience. That is, you two would soon become parents.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・You were somewhat conflicted upon processing Doe's words. On one hand, you weren't really opposed to keeping the tiny little thing - though the entire news of this happening was... extremely sudden. And while Doe was extremely excited by the idea of having another addition to the apartment, he did understand if you would rather not keep it around. This would lead to a long talk between the two of you where you would discuss the roles and importance of parenthood, ultimately culminating in the decision of whether or not the Doe-ball would stay.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・The two of you would come to your consensus by the time the Sun started setting, in which it was decided that the doe-ball would stay, and that you two would accept the roles of being their parents. The initial happiness of having a new addition to your humble apartment would wear off rather quickly, however, when You realized how shockingly unprepared the place was for a child. You would spend your evening making many Boogle searches, which seemed to be some strange Valley combination of Bing and Google. Doe, however, would spend most of his time outside gathering materials to create a false body for the new addition, a task that he would begin after returning home for the night.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・You would spend the entirety of the next day at home with Doe, waiting for the new ball to gain a full sense of conscience and completely leave Doe's mind. This was something that took the entire morning, though Doe was quick to alert you when he felt something slip out of his thoughts. Barely a few minutes later, and the eyeball of your new child opened up. You had to stop Doe from squeezing the poor thing to death in his excitement.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Moving away from an actual scenario to more spread out headcanons, Doe would honestly be a pretty good parent, even though he may not fully understand what he's doing a lot of the time. He remembers just how tough things were for him when he had slipped away from the motherball, and how scary it was to try and escape its home in one piece. As such, he'd always do his best to make sure that his little Doe-ball is comfortable, especially at home.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Something that he would also strive for is the ability to give your little Doe-ball as normal as a life they can have. And while the standards of normal are incredibly different between the Valley and the rest of the world, You also do your best to help. After learning more about the stages of human aging, Doe would go out of his way to create new faux bodies for the little Doe-ball as they age, and he'd also sacrifice some extra mass to them in order to help them better fit into the new body. This would lead them to age in a very natural fashion, with some of your family and friends outside of the Valley even believing they were a human.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・In case it wasn't already obvious, Doe is absolutely the more lenient parent. He would let his little Doe-ball get away with anything they wanted, even if it's reckless or otherwise just not a good idea. You're honestly pretty sure that he would help them cover up a crime if they ended up committing one... which is definitely something You do your best to counteract. It's pretty difficult, however, when they start to take advantage of Doe's ability to help them get a lighter punishment from you.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Would be the classic sentimental and protective father as the Doe-ball continues to get older. He would be melting into a puddle as you both wave them off to their first day of preschool, and practically already one with the floor when it's time for them to enroll into kindergarten. It would take all of the strength you have to keep him from chasing after the schoolbus on their first day, and you would most definitely have to drag him back to the apartment after it gets out of sight. And trust me when I say that he'll make that endeavor as hard as it could possibly be as he dramatically blows into a handkerchief that he just managed to find somewhere.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Doe's sentimentality and protectiveness wouldn't change much as the Doe-ball continues into being a teenager, which would lead to him being a pretty clingy parent. His protectiveness and clinginess would probably only continue to get worse as they try to become more independent, and you would have to sit Doe down and have a long talk about children needing more space and personal time as they age. Even though it would take him a while to fully accept that your child is getting older, he would do his best to try and give them the space that they want, though he might not always be successful. It's a process, though your child seems more than happy to see him try, and that's honestly all you could ask for.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Doe would absolutely be the type of parent to try and get all of you to wear those sorts of matching clothes and stuff. And although You normally wouldn't be the type to participate in those sorts of things, it's pretty hard to say no when he's showing you all of the things that he found while staring at you with his big doe eyes. [I couldn't resist...] He would continue to buy matching things for the three of you for quite some time, though he'd stop if your Doe-ball felt uncomfortable or embarrassed doing it.
╰₊˚ʚ🔪ɞ・Doe would also be the type of parent who loves going on field trips. Without fail, the three of you would wind up in some random corner of the valley every weekend, usually with... less than positive results. From somehow sneaking you all into strictly private areas to nearly getting you all eaten by Maison [who, given your last encounter with him, would have certainly taken the opportunity], Doe just doesn't have the best luck when it comes to selecting a destination. Luckily, you'd eventually manage to convince him to let you choose the places you visit, but there's pretty much always some random hijink that takes things down a much more hectic path.
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