Vincent: It looks like you've dropped something
Lovely: What?
Vincent: Your standards. Hi, I'm Vincent
~~~~~
David: Be careful with onions, they'll make you cry
Angel: Not if I make them cry first!
Angel: *stabs onion*
~~~~~
Darlin, lifeguarding at a pool:
Quinn: *is drowning*
Darlin: I'd save him but who am I to play God?
~~~~~
Damien: *studiously doing his school work, listening to classical music, very focused*
Huxley: *sat upside down in living room chair* Do you think stars have feelings?
~~~~~
Darlin: I identify as a threat. My pronouns are try/me
~~~~~
Avior: I'm monosexual, I'm primarily attracted to dumbasses
Starlight: Hey Avior! What animal is the pink panther?
Avior, already on one knee: Starlight, will you marry me?
~~~~~
David: I have a new hoodie
Angel: Wrong
Angel: We have a new hoodie
~~~~~
Sam: Name one thing I've ever forgotten
Bright eyes: You forgot me in a Walmart parking lot last week
Sam: I did that on purpose, try again
~~~~~
Babe: Any extreme sports you've tried?
Asher: Doing my homework while my teacher is collecting it
~~~~~
Milo: Help! I'm drowning!
Sweetheart: Calm down, love. We're only in 6 feet of water
Milo: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!
~~~~~
Avior: *looking up at the stars*
Starlight: What are you doing?
Avior: Naming the stars after people I love
Starlight: Do I get a star?
Avior: You get the sun
~~~~~
Darlin: I made tea
David: I don't want tea
Darlin: I didn't make tea for you. This is my tea
David: Then why are you telling me?
Darlin: It's a conversation starter
David: That's a lousy conversation starter
Darlin: Oh, is it? We're conversing, checkmate
~~~~~
Adam, spitting blood on the floor: You've gotten stronger since we last crossed paths
Lovely: Please stop. There's literally a sink right next to you
YOU ARE READING
Redacted ASMR headcanons & one-shots
FanfictionA messy assortment of headcanons, one-shots and incorrect quotes from Redacted ASMR characters
