Dark Winds | Sanemi Shinazugawa x Female Reader

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐄

In a matter of minutes, I neatly wrapped bandages all over Sanemi's scar covered body. I winced at the wounds that covered his abdomen. They were so deep, that I was surprised he wasn't blacked out. I could tell his breathing was steady, yet labored, which made me worried. I knew he was doing his best to internally heal as much damage as he could with his breaths, but that seemed almost too far fetched.

To my surprise, he opened up his eyes as I wrapped up his last remaining wound.

"How are you feeling?" I asked him, hopeful for a good response.

"Like shit."

Not surprised by his choice of words...

Instantly, my body filled with annoyance at his blunt remark, which caused me to tie his final bandage a little tighter than I meant to.

"Ow!" He yelled, but I just ignored him. I knew deep inside, I was beyond grateful that he was alive, but he still pissed me off.

"You're welcome..." I said, expecting some sort of gratitude for patching him up.

"Yeah, yeah whatever..." He mumbled under his breath. I guess I couldn't expect much more from Sanemi Shinazugawa.

"I saw a bar in the hotel lobby. I'm going."

"What?!" I yelled. "You have to get rest! You're beat to shit!"

"Yeah, exactly. That's why I need a drink."

I rolled my eyes and looked at the time. It was only 7 in the morning. Alcohol at this hour sounded like absolute hell.

Sanemi began to walk out without saying another word, leaving me in the room by myself. But before he shut the door behind him, he glanced back at me.

"Do you wanna come with me or not?" He said, aggressively.

"Huh?"

"Ugh. Forget it." He said, shutting the door behind him.

Wow...what an ass...

Yet my mind wandered somewhere else. He wanted me to come with him. Even though he acted like my company was a nuisance, he still wanted me there. I fiddled with my thumbs as I continued to sit on the floor, amongst all the rags and bandages that I had yet to pick up.

Should I go down there?...No! What am I thinking? I'm not some alcoholic that drinks this early in the morning...

In an attempt to clear my head quickly, I deep cleaned the nice room we were in, picking up all the soiled linens and cleaning up the ungodly amount of blood that covered the floors, leaving the room spotless so that no one would dare think what just happened actually, happened.

But once I was done cleaning, my mind went to Sanemi.

I should seriously go check on him... I said, lying to my heart about my true intentions. It's not like he had to know, so off I went to good look for the stubborn Hashira.

I walked around the lobby, looking for the so-called bar that I had missed. Sanemi seemed incapable of noticing a bar in the state he was in when I dragged him into the hotel, but somehow he must've seen it.

As I peaked my head around into a different room, that's when I saw him. Just him, obviously.

I sighed. My heart wanted me to turn back around, and continue to ignore him, but my legs had other ideas. Before I knew it, I was right by Sanemi, climbing onto the stool next to him.

"I thought you didn't want to come." Sanemi said, in his usual abrasive manner.

"Well you didn't even let me answer." I responded, matching his attitude.

The bartender came over to us, and handed me a sake cup, probably expecting us to share the giant jug of the Rice Wine that Sanemi had sitting in front of him, and then retreated back to where he had come from.

Shinazugawa proceeded to pour me some, not saying anything and not even looking in my direction.

We sat there in silence for a while, no one there but us two. If my heart had something to say, it couldn't find the words to say it. I didn't know how I felt for the Wind Pillar that sat next to me. And before I knew it, I had had like 3 or 4 cups of sake.

But, I was still confused...

"What are we doing..." Sanemi said, in a normal, quiet voice. He sounded confused too.

When we looked at each other, that's when I noticed how drunk I was getting. The whole room moved slower than my eyes did, until they finally focused on Sanemi's flushed, hazy face.

It was plainly obvious he was drunk too.

Any feeling of anger or hatred or confusion evaporated from my body as I looked deep in his eyes. It's like the Sake brought me clarity, or was it that it drowned the bad memories? I figured I'd never know, but I didn't care.

So bad I wanted to love him. I wanted to mend the years of tragedy that plagued his heart into pushing anything he could ever love away. It wasn't fair, and he knew that too.

"I don't know, Sanemi... You just keep pushing me away..." I said, fiddling with the empty cup between my fingers. His eyes made me nervous, so I looked away.

I felt him shuffle uncomfortably in his stool. I knew he didn't want to hear that, but it was true.

"I don't want to push you away anymore..." He mumbled.

Our eyes met once again. It didn't matter what he had said to me in the past. Maybe it was my inebriated brain that instantly forgave him, but I didn't want to resent him any longer.

"Please don't-"

I barley got my words out as Sanemi's lips crashed into mine. With his strong hands he gripped onto both of my arms, bringing me closer to him. My brain took a moment to process what he had just done, and to be honest, I was scared to pull him closer to me because of his wounds.

But they didn't seem to hurt him. As my hands found his body, I forgot about everything in that instant. I just concerned myself with where his hands were and how his kiss felt.

I had longed to feel him like this for some time now. He and I got to a part of our relationship that was so beautiful, but sadly got cut short, and now, maybe we could go further, exactly where we wanted.

"How about we go back to that room?" Sanemi said up against my lips, causing me to smile.

"I'd love that."