Burn it after midnight.

Chapter 8: Tomorrow Looks As Bright As Your Eyes.

Eddie had so many different emotions surrounding that morning. He felt exposed, raw and open like he'd shown part of himself to Steve that no one else had ever seen. He felt angry with himself, that he couldn't move past the things that were causing him pain and sorrow, he was sad because he had come to the crushing realisation that he probably wouldn't ever be able to love anyone ever again and with that realisation it meant that he would never let anyone love him either.

He was going to be on his own for the rest of his life.

Steve on the other hand felt relieved, relieved that Eddie has managed to open up to him about what had happened, at least he knew that it wasn't just because Eddie was some sort of fuck boy that wanted to mess him around. His reasoning was genuine and he understood why he felt the way he did about things. It didn't make it suck any less but at least he knew.

Eddie had stayed for the rest of the evening, they had stayed in bed cuddling for a little while just talking about nothing in particular. Then Steve started to get hungry and left Eddie in bed to go and make dinner. Eddie had appeared a little while later looking tired and like he wanted to say so many things to him but he couldn't find the words.

He wanted to be able to hold Steve, to hug his waist from behind while he was cooking, to kiss him and be a distraction, to spend all his time just orbiting around him as he went about his life. He knew it was stupid and he knew it was pathetic and he knew that Steve wasn't going to let him because they weren't dating and he wasn't going to let friends with benefits happen either. So he just settled for sitting at the island and watching him cook while he hummed along to the radio.

"I should get going" Eddie yawned.

"You... aren't gonna stay for dinner?" Steve looked up from what he was doing.

"Oh I uh... I guess I can... if you want me to?"

"I kinda thought that was the plan anyway?" He chuckles and turns his attention back to his cooking, a small smile playing on his lips. He glanced up again, seeing Eddie with a pained expression "What's wrong?"

Eddie shook his head. Refusing to meet Steve's gaze. It was odd for Steve to see him like this, Eddie usually seemed so happy and carefree it was like a totally different person sitting in front of him.

"Eddie?"

"I just..." He sighed "I don't--" He clamped a hand over his own mouth and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Hey" Steve turned the heat down low and walked around the counter to wrap his arms around Eddie who sighed in frustration and rested his head on Steve's chest. "You can tell me"

"I want you" He mumbled "So much, just wanna be able to walk up and wrap my arms around you and kiss you and shit and I can't because friends don't do that kind of thing" He said, it was kinda muffled by Steve's shirt, but he heard him. He sighed, bringing a hand up to Eddie's face, he stroked his cheek gently.

"I wish you could just let me love you" He mumbled, leaning down he kissed him ever so gently. Lips barely there, his other hand came up to hold his face, pulling him closer. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but Eddie just looked so sad. Steve couldn't stand seeing him like that.

"This is a bad idea" Eddie mumbled against his lips, his arms wrapped tightly around his waist.

"I know" Steve sighed again, resting his forehead against Eddie's.

They were quiet for a little while, the only sounds were whatever Steve was cooking simmering on the stove and the quiet songs playing from the radio as they just stood in the kitchen holding onto one another. Steve rested his head on top of Eddie's head who buried his face in his chest.