Exile

Chapter 6

As I was telling them what happened, Padfoot wanted me to braid his hair. 

"I knew Fred was impulsive, but merlins beard he does not know how to speak to people." He joked,  bending a little forward,  I accidentally pulled his hair. A mistake on my part clearly because the noise he made after was something I will never forget. 

"You are ridiculous," I scoffed. 

"Sorry!" He pouted, i could only sense moony's smirk. 

"Anyway," I told them about everything else that happened. 

"Now I don't even know if should have chosen either y/n" Padfoot chuckles.

"Well if you ask me, I think Draco was the right person to choose. I mean, he knew he wanted you but he just..." Moony paused for the right words. 

"hasn't exactly healed his trauma" padfoot finished.

"Exactly. And Fred, well, I think it's exactly what you said. You want to heal the hurt you faced when he didn't return those feelings so long ago. You don't like him, you like the idea of him." 

"I swear it's so weird how you guys know exactly what to say."

"Well, how do you think we met?" Moony chuckles. I didn't question any further, because bringing up and past relationships would most likely start a conversation I don't want to be responsible for. 

"I know, and you guys are right. But I can't help but feel drawn to Fred. I don't think its love anymore, it's more an envy to be there as his girlfriend." 

"You did the right thing, but take that time that you guys are not together to figure it out." Padfoot sits next to me after I tied the last of his braids. 

"Is he your date to the ball?" Moony asked. 

"I think so." 

"Okay well, we should get to bed. I am sure you are tired." They were right. We left to our rooms and I was left to myself. Thinking about what the heck happened.

 If we went to the ball together, I would get to see Draco in a suit and tie. After this weekend is over there would be only five days till it happens. I would be lying if a part of me was upset that we weren't anything more than whatever we were. That he wasn't my boyfriend, yet. My dads were right though, I didn't love Fred. I wanted to. 

The next morning I woke up and went over to Hogsmeade to get some work and studying done in the morning so I could spend the rest of the day with my parents. This was until I saw Fred. I was going to leave but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction that he actually aggravates me. 

He made eye contact with me. This bitch. He made eye contact with me and kept walking. I scoffed audibly, turning around hoping he heard.

"Did you say something?" He did because now he took a chair next to me. 

"Nothing." 

"Are we seriously doing this y/n?" I got up as he was speaking, "Its killing me that you are mad at me right now." He's following me. 

"It didn't kill you all those months ago when we stopped talking?" I was walking faster and into the woods unconsciously. 

"Of course it did y/n!" He walked in front of me making me stop, "It hurt me every single bloody day." I walk past him. 

"Come on y/n get over it already, you don't have to like me back but don't walk out on me again." what.

"Are you seriously making this about you?" I turn around, " Are you seriously going to stand there and make it look like I never really loved you? That I didn't spend every day after that night regretting saying anything because you never talked to me or even looked at me the same?" I realized I was screaming at that point, "I can't be around you anymore Fred, it's like when I am a part of me dies. It dies because I want you so bad but not in a healthy way. I want to love you but I don't. I love Draco." I surprise myself at my own words. 

" I tried to talk to you after that night y/n," He paused, "I really did, but I was a coward and avoided you. It was the gravest mistake I made. I guess now I have to deal with those consequences." 

"I want to be friends Fred, I do, but let's be honest here. That's never going to happen. It's never going to stay a friendship between us," I cup his face, "We have to let go. I'm sorry." 

I turn to leave but freeze only to realize we were stranded, "Well there goes my want for a better exit," i laughed. 

"Ironic," His voice wobbled but coughed up a chuckle, "The person you want to stay away from the most is who you are stuck with."

"Fred... I don't want to stay away from you." I pause, "Goodness, I hate right person wrong time." I scoffed with a smile. 

"you're telling me." He smiled, "Lets just head back the way we came." I agreed. 

"I wish I wasn't so stupid before, y/n" 

"What do you mean?" I looked at him, "don't feel stupid Fred, you didn't like me back at the time."

"No I did, I was a coward. Like I said earlier." 

"then you really are stupid," We made it back to hogsmeade in an awkward but comfortable silence. 

I was about to bid him goodbye, and the part of me that I mentioned was dying in me was finally feeling like it was healing again. Unfortunately, life was a cruel thing. 

"Y/n?" I heard a familiar voice behind me, Draco. Shit. I realized how it looked. 

"I uh- Bye y/n" Fred quickly left. 

"Draco, wait it's not what it looks like," 

"Then what y/n. What were you two doing together coming from the woods." I could feel the heat of his body from the few inches he was away from me. 

"Just hear me out-" 

"There is seriously no explanation that could explain that. this-" he pauses to look at me, "This is why i thought this was a bad idea. Because of him."

"Excuse me? This is not about him. This is about you not trusting me enough to be alone with any guy." 

"Y/n no-" 

"No Draco, I am not going to stand here and listen to you insult me. I mean,"  I didn't know if I should have said this next part but I did anyway, "I mean we aren't even dating, why are you so-"

"You can't possibly be serious-" He scoffed, "We may not be dating y/n but we sure as hell confirmed feelings for each other. And to really think I was about to trust you and it not being what it looks like." 

"Nothing happened Draco. I literally told him off" 

"Yea, right," He seemed genuinely hurt, "Shove off y/n. I have to go" 

"exile..." I whispered to myself, he couldn't hear it though. Tears were streaming down my face.

I ran after him, as fast as my legs could take me, "Draco Malfoy you listen to me right now." I ran in front of him, out of breath but I sucked it up, " he told me he loved me and that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. He said he was stupid for not realizing it then."

"I said shove off y/n" He was about to walk away from me again. 

"No, listen." I paused, " I am not about to let go of one of the best things that happened to me like last time. So please. Listen. I told him I didn't return those feelings for him. I told him, I have a boyfriend. I told him any feelings i had for him died when I met you," 

"I..." he paused, "I feel guilty now." He dragged his eyes away from me. 

"No, Draco, I understand because I would have thought the same if I had seen you with Pansy. His eyes looked like they were about to tear up, but before they could I cupped his ice cold face, "I choose you Draco Motherfucking Malfoy"

"I choose you too sweetheart," His body hot on mine, and hands around my waist. I felt his cold but warm breath on my lips before feeling a rush of euphoria. It was a more passionate kiss than any of the other kisses we shared. 

"Also never use the code word in an argument, when I heard you say that my heart shattered more than ever," He said, our face still inches apart. So he did hear it.

"Okay, I promise."

And this is what made any fight worth it. Him. Draco Malfoy, the boy who was really just traumatized, was capable of loving. And he chose to love me.