degenerate - bja

14

october 31, 1989
coopers pov

                        I HAD FOUND A WAY to sneak out, and I was at allison's party. I don't know why I decided to come here of all places, because there was a million other things i could have done. i think it was the fear of being alone, and the fact that most of my friends would be here, mike, billie, and tre at least. i had no clue where rose and angelina were, because i had told them i was basically on house arrest tonight and the topic just never came up.

But anyway, my mom was out for the night. She went to some halloween party at her work, which honestly didn't sound too fun considering she was a nurse. Once i was sure she wasn't hiding out in the bushes waiting to catch me, i just left out the front door. it felt very good having that kind of freedom.

And it wasn't hard to find allison's house. I knew what street she lived on and in what neighborhood, so i just walked there and followed the sound of shitty music and kids talking. the door was just wide open, which i was thankful for, so allison wouldn't have to greet me and make some bitchy comment.

I made my way through the house without anyone really noticing me, until i got to the kitchen. in the kitchen stood mike, tre, and billie huddled around a group of people. as i got closer i could discern that it was some fight, of course. I was right behind all three of the guys and they hadn't batted an eye.

I slammed my hands down on their shoulders. Well only mike and billies, tre was in the middle so he got a good enough effect. All three of them jumped, and tre spilled his drink all over himself.

"Fuck! sorry." i apologized. he threw the plastic cup aside and wiped his shirt with his hands.

"No biggie."

Billie threw his hands on my shoulder and shook me, "where did you come from? we thought i were grounded."

"I was!" I smiled, "but i snuck out, my house was boring."

Billie furrowed his brows. "since when are you all spontaneous? plus i thought you hated allison."

"you're right i guess, but like i said i was bored and you guys are here." they all seemed to be fine with that answer, so nobody said anything more. I noticed mike was oddly quiet, he hadn't said anything the whole time i was there. i didn't question it though, everyone seemed happy and the mood was light.

We ended up playing beer pong, which i lost horribly. "fuck you!" I yelled at tre as he beat me for the third time in a row. "i swear to god you're cheating!" He put his hands up in defense and set uo another game. Just as i was about to start playing, i saw a familiar head of curly hair brush by me. i whipped my head around and saw rose. it didn't look like she saw me, but i was frozen. If she was here then that meant that angelina was here too, and both of them new my feelings toward allison.

"Hey cooper, what's wrong?" Billie asked as he looked where i was. He must have noticed rose too because he made an "ohhhh" sound and slunk back.
my eyes brimmed with tears, that must have been the reason they never told me their halloween plans, because they had plans with one of the only girls ive ever hated.

I couldn't say anything, my thoughts were at a standstill but my legs took me from the kitchen, down the hallway and into some random room.
I heard mike call after me, but it was distant. I collapsed down on the bed in the corner of the room. I let my tears fall. I wouldn't be caught dead crying in a crowded hallway, but once i was alone i could sob all i wanted.

mike had followed me, because only a second after i fell onto the bed, he came through the door. He just stood there for a second, probably didn't know what to do, but then he came and sat next to me.

"im sorry." he said blankly.

"You knew they were here? why didn't you tell me?!" I managed through tears. I couldn't stop thinking about how embarrassing this was for me, the only people i'd ever cried in front of was rose and angelina, not even my own mom.

He didn't have an answer to that, but he put his arm around me. "Did billie and tre know they were here too?" I looked up at him now, and he nodded. I fell back into sobs.

"Why are you so mad that they are here when you're here too?" He questioned. I guess that was fair, but only because guys don't understand things like that.

I held it together as best I could. "Because, mike, they're my best friends, they know what allison has said to me. Im able to come here to get closure or whatever, to prove that i dont care what allison has to say anymore. I get it if you don't understand."

"No, no, I guess i do." Was all he said, and we just stayed in that position with his arm around my shoulders.

"I just don't understand why you guys didn't tell me! You all knew that they were going to be here, and you all knew my deal with Allison. Not even a heads up? You're supposed to be my friends." I found it funny how through this entire conversation, neither rose nor angelina's names were mentioned, but we both knew exactly who "they" were.

"I don't- I don't even know why i came to this stupid fucking party my mom is probably gonna find out and im gonna be grounded all over again." I had finished crying now, and I focused on my breathing.
"I think im ready to go out now." I didn't miss a beat in getting up and opening the door, but that was a bad idea. Of course, down at the end of the hallway, was Allison and Billie practically eating each other's faces.

Tears threatened to spill again, but this time i held back. Obviously, it was just my luck. Right after i finish sobbing over my best friends going to a party hosted by the biggest bitch in the world, I see my other best friend making out with the biggest bitch in the world.

"Actually no," I said, turning around. "I think I want to stay in here." I joined mike again on the bed. I don't know why, but i rested my head on his shoulder. I was tired, and my head felt like concrete, I just needed a place to rest.

"Cooper can I- can I tell you something?" The rumbling of his voice felt nice against the side of my face.

"Shoot." Was all I could get out.

He took a big breath. "I don't want to be friends with you." Oh god. as if this night couldn't get any worse. "No, that was worded badly." He continued. "Can I just see something?"

I raised my head to face him now, and before i had time to realize what was happening, mike grabbed by face firmly and smashed our lips together. My hands flew to his jaw, almost like a force of habit even though i had never kissed anyone before.

It's hard to describe how it felt. I knew that we were kissing, but my body just felt normal, not any kind of fireworks like in the movies. I don't even think we pulled away, our mouths just moved rhythmically together. Kissing was not nearly as hard as i thought it would be. We situated ourselves farther back on the bed, and he was almost on top of me now. He trailed sloppy kisses down my neck, which i prayed would not leave marks. His lips found mine again, but we didn't continue.

"Cooper, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes."