𝐐𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢 𝐌𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐧𝐚 𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐚 - Måneskin

Chapter 24 ◌ Tuo gruppo con cui mangi

THOMAS

Gemelli University Hospital, 2021

Damiano is right. Our friend group, our band, is one of the most solid matters we have left. There's no point fighting each other over something in the past. I mean, that Damiano's past is cracked up for a large part doesn't mean we should crack the present over this. That's exactly what I tell them, and now they're looking at me with their mouths slightly opened. 

 "When did our Thomas become such a sensitive thinker?" Ethan asks. I can't help glancing over at Vic. 

 "Uhm..." I mumble, I want to say so many things at this moment but nothing else comes out. "I just realized how precious our bond is because of the accident and all the fights and discussions. Was it all really worth it? Because look at what has become of us now, sitting in a hospital because one of us got hurt and here we are, fighting again!" 

 Damiano looks at me with regret in his eyes. 

 "Scusa, caro, for all of this" Vic says while squeezing my hand and she softly kisses the back of my hand. Ethan hugs my shoulders and pats my head, I know I'm taller than all of them but they still treat me like a younger brother. I don't really mind at this moment. 

 "You know, we're just in the beginning of our twenties, and look at what we have achieved already. It's insane, isn't it? Sometimes I like to take a step back and relativize everything," Ethan says, "maybe this is a good moment we all take a step back from our achievements." 

 That actually isn't a bad plan, I'd like to take some rest for a while. We all know Damiano is struggling to do that but it's required for his healing. 

 "I have an idea," I start, "what Ethan just said makes sense to me. I think it really is necessary right now for all of us to chill out a bit since we won't lose any time or benefits as long as Damiano is recovering. And, tipo," I say looking at him, "take all the time you need. Ti prego. We don't want you to burn out already and it seems you've already gone too far. C'hai solo vent'anni..." 

 Vic and Ethan nod agreeing. Damiano shudders and tears up again. 

 "Shhhhh, va bene, let it all out," Ethan shushes. We carefully hug him and stay quiet for some time. Damiano seems to have fallen asleep so we sit back on our chairs until the nurses send us away. 

 Arm in arm we walk out of the hospital, still in silence and with sorrow in our eyes. At this moment I feel like a real adult. It might be strange, but now I think I know what it feels like to be depressed, scared, and worried. Not that I'm all that, but I feel it in my dearest friends. When we blew up on X Factor and later on Eurovision, I still was more of a child, messing around with my mates. Literally living the dream. But now we've come across some real human feelings in all of us. 

 I hate to see Damiano this sad and broken, we all thought the worst parts were far gone but as he confessed, that isn't true. The past is still tangled in the present, and it's haunting him. 

 I hate to see Vic panicking and screaming, God I wish I could take her fears away. I never understood why she even has them because to me she's perfect. 

 I even hate it to see Ethan zoning out more than other times. I want him to tell us what he's thinking about and I hope he knows we don't find his deep thoughts annoying and strange. 

I love my friends so much and I do have struggles telling them. If we could get married with four people I seriously would consider it. Do they still think of me as their weird, hyperactive smaller brother? I don't even know what it's like to be a normal 20-year-old, because our lives certainly aren't normal.