Koi No Yokan ___ Inevitable Love

36. Impossible Dream

Trigger Warning

This chapter contains the mention of certain mental health issues.

Third Person's POV:

I stood in front of the full-length mirror in Han seojun's room. Why am I even here? Alone? The room was dimly lit, I saw myself in the mirror, I touched my face, I looked pretty, and suddenly Han seojun appeared out of the blue, I looked at his reflection in the mirror, getting closer to me as he stood right behind me. His face was devoid of any expression.

His eyes are ice cold, so sharp just like I don't like them. They look like daggers, ready to slay, they scare me. We both stood there looking at each other in the mirror and then he bent down just enough so that his lips were hovering near my ear, his hand resting on my shoulder. "I wish I had stayed in the dark" he hissed and a shiver ran down my spine, his voice dripping venom, and that tone sliced right through my heart.

With our eyes still connected through the mirror, Han seojun reached for my face, the moment his cold finger came in contact with my skin, I shuddered. His index finger slowly crawled along my jaw and in a split second, the soft gentle touch switched to a painful grip around my neck. Choking me, he seethed  " The reality is so cruel, It's so cruel." The words left his mouth and my breath hitched, my blood ran cold, and my face drained all of its color turning me into someone with a dead soul, and dead eyes. I looked horrible.

With tear-filled eyes, I searched for the guy I knew all this time, but I couldn't see him anywhere, this person was a 180 shift from him. As if his personality was completely flipped, the pain of being choked was nothing compared to what I was feeling because of his hatred towards me. My eyes flooded and silent tears leaked out as I whimpered. It was too much to look at so I squeezed my eyes shut and whimpered, everything was dark and I couldn't see his bloodshot eyes anymore but I could still hear the voices.

 "You're nothing but a curse," he said and a sob escaped my lips followed by multiple voices,

'Why is Han seojun dating her?"

"She's a total drug addict, I heard she went to a rehab over the summer"

"Han seojun must want to be in good with her dealer! Don't you know about his badass reputation?"

"Oye Han seojun! Didn't your mother teach you to watch out for chicks like her? She's dangerous"

"Why are you dating a low-life like her? She's bad news!"

I couldn't breathe, moaning in pain and I felt like I'd explode any minute, I whimpered, tried to open my mouth, I wanted to say "I'm not" "I'm not an addict" "I'm not" But I couldn't open my mouth, not even to wail, to cry so I just whimpered, sobbed as tears continued to cascade down my face. 
                   .............................

"Ji ah!?" The moment her eyelids closed, everything went dark for Han seojun. Her body limp in his arms, and no matter how hard he tried to shake it off, the memory stayed, plastered on the walls of his mind. He sighed for the millionth time, squeezing his eyes shut to let go of that particular image but all he could see was Ji ah, passed out in his arms.

It was the third time, for the third time he held a loved one in his arms like that, terrified of the possibility that he won't be able to see them open their eyes ever again.  However with Ji ah, the horror was on another whole level.

 Exhaling heavily yet again, he threw the rag on the kitchen counter in frustration, placing his palms flat on the cold marble, he leaned against it, his arms supporting his weight. Head lowered, Han seojun took deep breaths to compose himself, Ji ah! Her health. Is she ok!? What if she's actually not!? That's all he could think about since yesterday. The events from yesterday, and his chat with the doctor, were all playing in his head on loop.