The Dragon's Match

XXXII

XXXII

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

"Whatever it is we are doing, I do not think I can do it anymore."

The words had poured from a cavernous well within her soul; a part of her that she had never intended to reveal, never intended to air out into the open. But it had spilled over right then, wrought from a turbulent fissure that had rendered her intentions asunder.

His entire body stiffened, yet his arms remained encasing her, holding her against his chest with a tenderness that cracked every last remaining piece of her once implacable heart. Even in her turmoil, even if he was the cause of it, being suffused by his scent and his nearness was so damn comforting she wished she could retract her words and continue to pretend that everything was perfect.

But she would be lying to herself, and most of all she would be lying to him.

Aëghan swallowed, the motion moving her cheek where she rested against a steady pulse beneath his skin. "You are not... satisfied? With how things stand between us?" His words were low, a murmur that reverberated through his chest, but they were imbued with a tangible wariness.

He knew what she was about. He knew... they both knew, even if they had never aired it quite so blatantly before. "How do things stand between us?" she returned. She wanted him to say it- to admit to the choice he was bound to make, that would rift them apart as if nothing had ever mattered in the first place.

The ache that seized her chest then compelled her to move away from him. Stepping back, she tilted her head to regard him and the sombreness of his visage was enough to deteriorate her composure. Feeling every carefully applied layer splintering away, Lillian shook her head as her throat tightened and burned. "Not here," she said quickly, coarsely. "Let us speak in private, if you wish."

His nod was curt, a muscle in his jaw flexing. She sidled past him, and even if they both suspected the final culmination of whatever they had together, she couldn't help feeling charged by the deliberate placement of his hand on her lower back as they moved silently through the ruins.

When they reached their chambers, Aëghan guided her into his as was normal between them now. His chamber was where they spent their nights- his chamber was where she curled up into his arms and found solace in the intimately naked body curled around hers until the break of dawn the next day.

Not anymore, Lillian realised, her breath catching in her lungs as her chest tightened at the thought.

"Lillian, what is this about? If you wish to discuss the nature of our relationship-"

"What relationship?" she scoffed at his words, moving deeper into the chamber to settle the tiny halcoon pup on his bed. The sheets were rumpled, pillows in disarray, from a torrid session of lovemaking a few hours prior, and she jerked her gaze away from the sight. "We fuck, Aëghan. That is it. There is nothing more to construe it as any sort of relationship- to call it such would be a disservice, a farce."

When she turned, she found him studying her from across the room. His expression was dark, unreadable, as he leaned against the door he had closed and barred in their wake, his arms folded across his chest as he regarded her. "You are lying, Lillian."

"It cannot be anything more." Her voice betrayed her, cracking fiercely. Realising that every inch of her was trembling, she clenched her fingers tight and jammed them against her thighs.

"But it is. You know it is."

She began to shake her head vehemently, her hair spilling over her shoulders. He pushed off the wall, coming towards her until he stood close, so close. His hands spanned her shoulders, fingers threading through her hair, and there was such a tender appeal in his eyes she thought she could be undone by it alone. "Do not try to deny it," he murmured quietly. "You and I both know that we have transcended beyond whatever we intended for this to be. It would be impossible for me to let you go now, little cat. You've ingrained yourself into my heart, my soul, my very essence. I live for one of your rare smiles now, the soft cadence of your laugh inspires me to be a better male-"