Edge and Belle

Chapter 5 (Edge): Speak Of The Devil

For the rest of the day, I hung out in my backyard, kicked back on one of the deck chairs and doing nothing but contemplating my problems. After being shot down by Belle and her children, I felt about two feet tall.

And I wasn't used to feeling like that with those three. Belle had always been starry-eyed happy when she was around me. When I'd met her children for the first time at the pizza place, they'd been so curious and sweet, each vying for my attention from across the table so I felt like I was at a ping-pong match, looking left, right, left, right as they fired questions and comments at me so fast I could barely keep up.

"Did you ever play baseball?"

"Look at the unicorn I drew!"

"What position did you play?"

"Do you want to color with me?"

"I'm pretty fast. Can you run fast?"

"Mommy said for my birthday I might get pink tennis shoes!"

"Do you like playing catch?"

"I like sparkly nail polish. See?"

Belle had let this go on for a bit, an indulgent smile on her gorgeous lips, until she asked them to take a breath. That was the first time, but not the last, that I'd heard her say that to her children. West and Piper knew what that meant, and they literally stopped what they were doing and breathed deeply for a few moments. After that, the questions still came at me, but from one at a time. West would ask for a few minutes, then Piper would have a turn. And through it all, Belle's eyes were shining with pride and love for her children. They were polite and respectful, and although I had zero experience with children, I'd liked them and their funny ways.

So hearing that they didn't like me anymore because I wasn't nice cut me open in a way I wasn't expecting. I hadn't expected to like her children so much; when I'd asked to join her and the children for dinner that first night, it was because I'd missed seeing Belle. I hadn't seen her in five days, and I needed a Belle fix. So when she'd told me she was taking the children out for pizza, I hadn't thought about anything but seeing her.

Sounds great. Can I invite myself along?

She hadn't responded right away. After four minutes, I didn't even see the three dots indicating she was about to text back. So I sent another text, trying to reassure her that having pizza together was up to her.

Sorry if I overstepped, but I'd like to see you and meet them. If you're ready for that.

That time, after only a minute or so, I'd gotten a response.

We'd be happy to have you join us.

And that had started a month of being able to see Belle more often, sometimes with the children, sometimes without, until the night I'd suggested the children sleep in my guest bedroom so Belle could be at the get-together I was having with my friends.

Including Karen.

How stupid could one man be?

Do you want the short answer or the long?

I'd known I was playing a dangerous game with Belle. Right from the first night, I'd known she had two children, but she hadn't talked much about them other than to mention them in passing, thinking we'd be nothing more than a one-night stand. When we'd hooked up again, and then again, she told me a bit more about them, most notably that she'd never dated, not even once, after her husband left her. It was only now that she was done with school and had a solid job that she was going to start dating again.

So we'd...what? Hooked up for three months? It was more than a series of hookups, though. We'd had sex when we could find the time, but we always met for dinner first and we'd begun talking more and more. Then we'd added texting, and then finally I'd added the call before bed. Something in me had liked knowing my voice was the last thing she heard before she fell asleep.

But in my mind, I'd still kept that distance, even once I'd met her children and had quickly become a small presence in their lives. It wasn't that serious. I wasn't ready to be a father, to have an instant family. I was thirty-two and the thought of being responsible for an eight-year-old and a six-year-old was daunting. West and Piper didn't have a father figure in their life at all, so I would be their de facto father, nothing step about it. Too much responsibility, my mind had whispered. So my mind kept it light, easy. Definitely not serious.

And when I'd said what I said to Karen, I'd even meant it.

At the time.

But why had I said it out loud, even if I'd felt that way? Why had I said it to Karen, who had been giving Belle shit that I didn't even know about? Because Karen had been poking and jabbing at an open wound -- my fear that Belle would want to get married and make me a daddy to her two children. So then I blurted out my booty call/baggage comment, never dreaming both Belle and West would overhear me saying there was no future for us.

When Belle removed herself so completely and thoroughly from my life, I realized pretty damn quick that my heart hadn't gotten the memo on what spewed out of my mouth.

I'd missed her, missed my Belle in such a way that I was surprised.

I'd missed West and Piper, too. Only a month in with them, and I'd missed them and their big little personalities.

Why does shit -- hurtful shit -- come out of our mouths so easily? Why isn't there a giant hand ready to slap itself over our mouths before we destroy a good thing that we didn't know was a good thing because we'd been treating it so casually?

And now I wasn't nice and West and Piper didn't like me any more because I made their mother cry and called them suitcases.

We're kids.

Right now, West was more of a man at eight than I was at thirty-two.

And stupid man that I was, I'd played right into Karen's hands. She'd warned me about things happening with Belle that any normal woman would ask, but Karen had planted the seed in my mind that if Belle started to ask certain things, that meant I was dealing with some jealous woman who would try to end our friendship.

Speak of the devil, I thought as my phone buzzed. Karen had been calling me relentlessly since I'd walked away from her the day she said single mothers were single for a reason. I hadn't texted her or called her, even though prior to our fallout we had talked to each other several times a week and texted daily.

I needed to talk to Karen, explain to her that I was going to pursue Belle, and Karen and I would need to stop the calling and texting. Based on the little Belle had told me on her front porch, I needed to make it clear to Karen that our friendship was a thing of the past. If she pushed, I'd simply tell Karen that her treatment of Belle had made the break necessary.

"Hey, Karen," I said, my voice neutral.

"Finally!" she said and her displeasure was evident. "I've been feeling a little ghosted, Edge."

Wanting to cut right to the chase, and not wanting her over at my house for this discussion, we agreed to meet at an ice cream and coffee shop not far from my house.

When I walked up, Karen was already outside waiting for me, a bright smile on her face. 

"I'm hungry since I haven't had lunch," she said. "Can we eat at the Sandwich Shop next door?"

I shrugged, not really giving a damn, just wanting this over with.

We walked into the restaurant together and followed the hostess to a booth. Karen suddenly slipped her hand into mine and gripped mine so tightly I needed to pry her fingers away. But before I could shake her off, she was stopping at the booth closest to us.

"Hi, Belle," Karen cooed. "Having a good date?"

Belle. Having a cozy lunch with West's baseball coach.