Edge and Belle

Chapter 13 (Belle): Helping You Decide?

So, I have to admit a failing of mine.

I freaking loved watching Edge take down Karen. It was petty and vindictive of me, but I enjoyed her humiliation after the nasty shit she'd pulled and the things she'd said about my children and about me. I can be really nice...until you aren't nice to my children. And maybe, depending on my mood, I'll either take the high road or the low road, but my mood was clearly low road all the way today. 

Fortunately, my children weren't here to see me hiding an ear-to-ear grin behind the hand covering my mouth. It wouldn't have fooled them as they were used to seeing me clap a hand over my mouth when I was trying to be stern with them but trying to stop myself from laughing at the same time. 

"You're smiling, Mommy!" Piper and West would call me out. And they were right. But sometimes...those children of mine popped off with something that I just couldn't help but laugh at, especially when uttered with such innocence.

Anyway, I was hoping that to the Marines gathered around Edge and Karen's standoff, I simply looked like I was covering my mouth in shock. Sort of. If you squinted. And it was dark out. And you were driving by me at fifty miles an hour.

It took everything in me not to do a fist pump or five at certain parts of the takedown. One of my prouder moments? Absolutely not. One of my more satisfying moments? Absolutely, one hundred percent.

When she walked away, head down, with the man who had brought her here, I gave a little wave goodbye. But only in my mind! I didn't actually do it.

As soon as Edge saw Karen take off, he walked over to his fifteen or so buddies to say a few words, shake a few hand and thank them for coming to support the boys. When they began to drift away, Edge walked back over to me, and that's when I realized that I was still standing there like an idiot waiting for him.

"Just so we're perfectly clear," he said, "I was wrong. I should have done that to her the second you and I started dating. I'm sorry I didn't. It was unfair to you and shortsighted of me."

"Yes, you should have. It made me really uncomfortable whenever I was around her and she played queen of the castle at your place and treated me like an interloper."

"That's on me, and I'm sorry that you were uncomfortable because I failed to handle her. There's a lot I regret, Belle. A lot I wish you'd give me the chance to make right."

"Edge, I heard you say I was a booty call with baggage, then two weeks later, you were telling me you were all in. That's a pretty huge turnaround in a short amount of time. What changed? I'm supposed to believe you had a complete change of heart...why?"

"Being without you three," he returned immediately. "I told you, my head may have been slow on the uptake but my heart had it figured out even before you left me. Then those two weeks without you and West and Piper were the longest, most drawn-out weeks of my life. I missed the three of you like you wouldn't believe. I'd walk past that aisle in the grocery store where they sell all that woman stuff, and I'd see a pink bottle of nail polish and think Piper would love that color. Or I'd go past the cookie aisle and think how West would like those Mega-stuf Oreos. And I just thought of you constantly."

He gave me what I called his hear me out face that he used when he was trying to talk me into something.

"I liked the three of you in my house that night, Belle. I liked going in to check on West and Piper and to make sure they were OK. I liked those little faces under my roof. It freaked me out at the time just how much I liked them. I may have said that horrible shit, but I figured out pretty quick that what I'd said to her was just shit. I like my life with you three in it. It's better, it's brighter and it's a helluva lot more fun."

"Edge, do you understand where I'm coming from? Calling my children baggage was horrible. And then you want me to believe it was just a mistake? I'm just supposed to unhear that?"

"No, Belle. Just give me a chance to let you hear some other things, some different things that can help you see I made a horrible mistake. I want to explore this more with you, Belle. I want to get to know the children better. I want to earn back their trust and yours."

She's nothing more than a booty call with baggage.

"Give me the chance to make things right, Belle. I can't stand this distance between us. Before I fucked it all up, did you have feelings for me?"

I didn't want to answer that question. Because we both knew the answer was yes, I did have feelings for him. Still did, to be honest. Very strong feelings that went beyond wanting to strangle him for the booty and the baggage comment.

Edge stepped closer to me. "Belle, if I could re-do any moment in my life, it'd be that moment where I opened my mouth to her. I'd give just about anything to take it back, but since I can't, I'd love to show you going forward that my feelings for you and the children are real and they're strong, and I won't put the four of us at risk ever again."

When my husband and the father of my two children walked away and said, sorry, I don't want any of you, that left a mark, deep and permanent. And I promised myself I'd be careful getting involved with another man, and I'd kept that promise until Edge. Then I'd let him into my life on a very limited basis, waited until I felt we were on a good path, and then I'd allowed him to meet West and Piper.

Once again, the rug had been pulled out from under me.

Third time's the charm? a sweet little voice said in my head.

Fuck that noise, a not-so-sweet voice said.

"I need to think," I told him. "You didn't just hurt me; you hurt West, too, when we overheard you, and then he passed that along to Piper. I need to think, Edge. Think it through thoroughly and make sure my head is clear."

"I get it, Belle. You need to decide."

OK, that was good. That was him understanding my point of view.

And he respected that, spoke to me at practices and games in a friendly way, but he wasn't pushing. In the meantime, I thought about everything he'd said. Ad nauseam.

Two weeks later, I heard the sound of a lawnmower very close to my house. It wasn't my lawnmower, and I knew this because mine was broken and had been for the last two weeks. So, throwing on some sweats and a T-shirt, I ran outside and saw Edge mowing the grass. When he saw me he cut the engine and walked over to me.

"Good morning, beautiful." His greeting was chipper and even out here sweating from pushing the lawnmower, he looked good.

"It's barely seven o'clock and you're mowing the grass? Edge, what are you doing here?"

"Helping you decide?"

Then he grinned at me, and it reminded me so much of West when he was being all happy and eager that I had to clap my hand over my mouth.

Because no way was I going to let him see me smile.